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Reconcilling your faith with your Life
Just over 2 months ago when I felt I had nothing to live for I started to see a psychologist who told me I need to reconnect with people and things that were important to me. So after 13 years I returned to church. The church I go to fully supports the GLBTI community and I had started to feel comfortable there. On Friday 30th July I went to my first GLBTI dance party and had a great time. On the Sunday I went back to church and this service they had communion. I found I could not go up and take communion. I felt guilty about going to the dance party, guilty about questioning my sexuality and guilty that 2 months ago I had felt like ending it all. How come I can accept others and they accept me but I judge myself so hard? How can i reconcile myself with my faith?
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9 Replies
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Quote:Just over 2 months ago when I felt I had nothing to live for I started to see a psychologist who told me I need to reconnect with people and things that were important to me. So after 13 years I returned to church. The church I go to fully supports the GLBTI community and I had started to feel comfortable there. On Friday 30th July I went to my first GLBTI dance party and had a great time. On the Sunday I went back to church and this service they had communion.
So Catholic then?
Quote:I found I could not go up and take communion.Did they give a reason why?
Quote:I felt guilty about going to the dance party, guilty about questioning my sexuality and guilty that 2 months ago I had felt like ending it all. How come I can accept others and they accept me but I judge myself so hard? How can i reconcile myself with my faith?Don’t ever feel guilty about your sexuality, you are who you are, God created such a diverse set of people in this world and the teachings of Jesus says that he loves and accepts us all no matter what we look like, no matter what we do.
The reasons I specifically ask about your dealings with the church, and that it is the Catholic one, in July 2009 I was fortunate to be flying to the USA for a quick round trip, and due to the seating arrangement in business class I ended up swapping with a young girl so she could sit next to her family. The result was I ended up sitting next to whom I thought was just a normal every day priest, I was wrong. Chatting, as you do on long haul flights, I asked about his “job” and where he was from, and was astonished to find he was a person of stature. He was a member of a 3 man group from the catholic church put to gether by the Vatican, and it was the job of the group to discuss and decide policy with respect to the Catholic church, policy on things like gay marriage etc.. Needless to say I asked him about me, would the Catholic church accept someone like me, a transexual, what is the position of the catholic church..? This started with a disclaimer that it was still being discussed, and that it was ‘a tough one’ He was quite avoiding but to cut this short he did give away a number of points in current policy.
1/ As a MtF the church is fully supportive, to them I am a normal person.
2/ As a MtF dating a guy I would not be accepted as that falls foul of their current ‘gay’ policies, as a MtF dating a girl (which applies to me) I would be accepted as any “normal” person.
3/ The catholic church considers SRS/GRS mutilation of the body and as such it is “against God’s will”.
So to conclude, the policy of the Catholic church is they accept any TG (CD/TS/TV etc) providing they are dating/sleeping with a member of the opposite sex to their birth gender and that they have not mutilated their body by way of SRS/GRS.
Everything else is being discussed and will be down to the individual congregation.
Food for thought…
In the mean time if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m sure there are plenty of people close to you, but if you can’t find them, ping me on email or come into chat (or both to get me there) as I am more than happy to have my ear bent. If you want my mobile to ping me there, you’re welcome to it, but ask via email as I won’t post it here due to a couple of other members.
Take care, keep you chin up,
Michelle
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Dear Stephanie
let me start by saying I am not a churchgoing person but let me quoting my wife who is ” God forgives people not punish them” and that’s all you really need to know. We all get a little depressed at times it’s an unfortunate part of our community, we always think that people will not understand. Just remember that you do have friends who have also gone through these moments of doubt and if you contact them, they will support you.
Feeling guilty about questioning your sexuality is something you have to reconcile with yourself I’ve always felt that if you are not hurting anyone else then things are okay, you have to live your life. And questioning yourself we all do that no matter what stage we are at on our journey.
As for going to a dance is nothing in church that says you can’t do that to go out meet people and talk so don’t feel guilty over that.
Don’t let a religious group make you feel down some people from that community will never understand and instead of teaching love they teach hate and misunderstanding. Just remember that you are the important person and at the end of the day if there is a God he made everything and he gave you choice and you have chosen this life as so many others have, its not really a problem when you think about.
Stay strong
Penny -
I had been pondering for some time whether or not to raise the subject of faith and transgenderism so I was very glad to see this thread. It was particularly interesting to hear what the priest had to say to Shells; I found this very comforting. (Atheists will no doubt be turning off at this stage or rolling their eyes skyward). As a non practicing Catholic I will no doubt be accused of cherry picking the convenient bits of my faith, but it gives me great solace to be able to pray with a clear conscience. My teddy bears and I will sleep more soundly now.
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Hi Stephanie,
I’m a committed Christian and a practicing Anglican. I regularly read the lesson, and join in various activities within my church.
The issue is about Faith and Grace. For this I can only suggest reading “Practical Religion” by JC Ryle, an evangelical who was appointed Bishop of Liverpool in 1880. His numerous writings are very relevant today.
So you went to a GBLT dance. What’s the problem? The sins of Sodom, or simply that you were ‘of the world’ and enjoyed the company of friends?
What are the sins of Sodom? Nothing I’ve ever read has lead me to believe they were sexual, and especially there is no mention of homosexual acts. I simply refer to the Bible. The only source.
“Now this is the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore I did away with them as you have seen.” Ezekial 16:49-50
This passage says nothing about sexual acts of any kind as the reason for the destruction, but does specifically outline arrogance and a lack of concern for the needs of others as the reason. The passage clearly teaches that inhospitable acts were the key reasons for God’s judgment.
Many would say that the “detestable” things mentioned in the passage referred to sexual sins including homosexuality, which is an abomination to God. Proverbs 6:16-19 lists seven things that are particularly detestable to God:“There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.”
Nowhere here do we see condemnation of sexual sin of any kind, much less homosexuality. This is not to say that homosexual acts were not occurring in Sodom or that they were acceptable to God. The incident outside Lot’s house (Genesis 19:1-10) does show that the intentions of those gathered around the house were to have sexual relations with the “angels” supposed to be men. A loving act, however, was not intended, but in this case rape.
Your faith is your personal beliefs. Nobody can take that away from you. Nobody has a right to judge you. It is not a sin to doubt or feel unworthy, but clearly you believe you do not deserve this condemnation. If you’re fortunate in having found a Christian community which practices Our Lord’s love and acceptance, cherish it. If you are rejected, do as Christ taught – shake the dust off your sandals and continue on your journey
Blessing
Christina -
The church I go to is called Open Doors that specially caters to the GLBTI community so they have no problems with me. But my previous church life was mostly pentecostal churches, assemblies of God, Christian life centres and Hillsong. These churches are very much in to preaching hellfire and brimstone. I have no problems going to church as a transexual as this is a truth I have fully accepted in my heart and I know I am a better person for being who I was meant to be.
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Stephanie, I think that it is worth keeping in mind that most of the Old Testament , especially the bits so relished by the likes of the Hellfire and Brimstone brigade…was written during the Bronze Age!!
We have moved on since then so I think that that style of religion needs to be put into context and behind us?
I am a solid Atheist so I draw my morality from a humanist and slightly Buddhist slant and need no god to tell me how to behave, so may be an unreliable source of advice for you , but I am sympathetic to your dilemma. -
Hi Stephanie,
I was at the GLBTQI dance you mentioned and we had a nice chat. I can assure you that you have nothing to be ashamed of by going to it. It was simply as is like any other dance, a collection of people enjoying their time dancing, chatting, listening to the music & socialising. The same goes for yourself, you are what you are and in no way do you have any control for your sexuality. I also feel we need to look beyond that sort of thing and if we are a good person and treat others well is the true measure of a person.
If you feel church helps you with your inner being then that’s probably what you need and you should continue to attend.
Quote:I have fully accepted in my heart and I know I am a better person for being who I was meant to be.Really that’s all that matters
Take care
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ever so slightly off topic (maybe) I conduct Church services in Yandina, Queensland, and would invite anyone to join in the service. I do have the approval of the minister in charge, and conduct services ever second and fourth Sundays of each month. please contact me if you wish to come……..
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Interesting that I should find this topic now…
In recent times, I have questioned, and even given up – well changed, my faith.
To cut a long story short, it all came down to two basic criteria:
1) Why was I ‘cursed’ with being Transgender and the shame associated with it?
2) Why have I had to contend with so many intense dramas in my ‘normal’ life over the recent past?I started to question why I was experiencing a constant series of adverse circumstances in my life despite trying to be a ‘good’ person. So, who is easy to blame? Religion and GOD? Isn’t God meant to take care of us? Why was He punishing me?
And so I sought some other ‘faith’ that I felt a ‘connection’ with. Ironically, its not so much a Religion as a self belief system known by the ancient Chinese as ‘qi’ that I discovered. Blending my inherent belief that the ‘Universe’ (as in scientific Cosmology) has created the ‘energy of life’, I have come to understand that this ‘life-force’ called Chi permeates everything via an ‘energy flow’. As I learn about the fundamental effects of Chi and how to channel this ‘life flow’, the more content I seem to be.
However, having been a reasonably devout Catholic for almost 50 years, I am finding sub-conciously that I haven’t been able to totally ‘let it go’. Within a few days of committing to the Chi philosophy, I suffered nerve damage in my leg – was that God sending me a subtle message?
I now prefer to think of God as the all encompassing ‘energy of the Universe’ without the associated Religion. Does that work?
Clare.
(Oh, btw, being a Transgendered person is NOT a curse – its a blessing! At this late stage of my life, I know that I have always been a female living in denial – that is changing!)
