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Being womanly
For all these years I have believed that the only way I could express the womanly side of me was to dress in woman clothes, wear woman makeup and woman hair.
All of which is so exciting and fulfilling and sexy.
But just recently I’ve realised that for me that’s not really all it’s about.
I’ve found that it’s not the outward appearance that’s important, it’s the feelings that are the essence of my woman self. I’m letting myself feel womanly. It’s like a letting go, a release of the pretence of being all male.
If our brains are wired to feel softness, tenderness, nurturing, then we are able to tap into those feelings just like women do.
We are so blessed, that we can be men when we need to be, and play rough sports and be powerful in business, but when appropriate we can show empathy, gentleness and those womanly qualities the we long to express.
Does that ring any bells for anyone? Is it just me, romancing as usual?
And the nice thing about it is that when we allow ourselves to be soft and caring, people love us for it. They might see us as gay, but that’s easier to besr than asking them to accept us as crossdressers and transmen.
What do you think?
Love Clare[/i]
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6 Replies
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Clare, for me, what you describe is not about being a man or woman ..it is about being human. Men are given tear glands and emotions as well and not just for the purpose of combating dust storms!
How many times, when a man cries on TV ( his child may have just been killed) and he apologizes for crying. It is a pathetic part of our gendering that we are told not to cry. I first saw my Dad cry when our dog died when I was 12 and it shocked me.
Many boys grow up in households where anger is the only allowed emotion for men. If you are sad, afraid, confused whatever..you get angry..you are a real man! I think that it is weakness actually and we need to be appropriately emotional when we feel them, that is being real.
I think that you can’t trust a man who cannot cry.
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Quote:I think that you can’t trust a man who cannot cry.
If can’t trust a man who can’t cry what about a woman who was never seen to cry. I have never seen my mother cry at all.
I think she may be borderline autistic. It was very difficult when I was young. I learnt the meaning of love tending the cat.
Is love a natural and integral part of the mind. It just has to come out and be expressed. If there is no avenue to express love it may cause distress.
A bit of rambling maybe:?
Hugs
Vicki -
Hi,
Depends on the person. its not clothes make up shoes or how we dress.
Its about being who we are , & if you like from birth tho it started long before that.
wether we are male or female or both there are many things details about each of us that are there,
It may come down to how we are taught, or forced in to set roles styles of life, the carpasity is there for each of us to show the real who we are, when we are allowed to or do any way.
Of cause the male aggresson has been there & it comes out in fighting = wars , & attacks on others & women. both men & women can do the same thing.
The loveing . kindness , tenderness. softness is there for all , how we show our selfs is really up to each one,
I showed my true self not as male or female , as who i am as a person . it was not how i was taught or forced into,
I did not show male aggresson as many males do. i did not show the womens love compasson emphy as many women do. it was all together ,Because we are all capible of all asspects of our human nature , some show lots some very little. I did not have a problem of showing some of both all through my life , a mix of being both male / female.
Now i can express my self better as a woman only because i have grown as one tho a life time getting there, thats all yet its allways been there ,
…noeleena…
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Hi ladies,
I’ve read all these posts with much interest. Although my Cd’ing these days is almost non existent, I go back to the times when I was active and how I felt the feminine side of me helped me get to know some very special female friends very well. Nothing “romantic”, just that I felt that whilst the “macho male” had his good mates, I could relate equally as well to these women. Some of the emotional things we shared were so intense and personal, I rarely shared them with my male friends.
So I guess that’s how I felt “womanly” at the time. A classic example is how I shared the fact I was a crossdresser with the ladies mentioned below, but only one or two very close male mates. Equally, a couple of phone calls and chats with my “sis”, about things that were happening to her, I doubt if she shared them with many other people of either genderOne North American lady and I ended up being as close as brother and sister, similarly with another lady from Perth. I dont see any of them in person anymore, but I still keep in close e.mail touch with “sis”.
I’m not sure if what I’ve burbled on about will help the debate all that much, but I just wanted to add my 20 cents worth.
All the best
Caty (vic)
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Clare
I totally agree with you, i believe there has to be emotions, if no emotions then wearing a dress and so on just doesnt cut it for me, i want to be the whole woman, luckily im a softy ,emotional,i cry, and believe it or not i care, all of which make me feel like the woman i wan to be.
Lisa_6
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I agree with many aspects discussed by those above, to be a good human you should have, display many attributes, caring, and emotional reactions being several of the many.
However Clare’s suggestion that in many ways the clothing, make up and hair, are less important than the Internal expression of the commonly feminine characteristics of compassion, empathy, crying, etc, rings true with me. Clothes alone do not make either the man or woman.
