-
Event planning and the disaster plan
Quote:Fiona as always speaks sense!Glad YOU think so Saz ! – but the jury might out on that one.
In any event planning is very important – including a disaster plan
Fiona xx
-
8 Replies
-
Hi Fiona,
I haven’t been out except to seahorse and I really want to get out more. I am interested in your comment that planning is important esp a disaster plan. For the ignorant (ok me) could you give a theoretical example?
Gwen -
Quote:Hi Fiona,
I haven’t been out except to seahorse and I really want to get out more. I am interested in your comment that planning is important esp a disaster plan. For the ignorant (ok me) could you give a theoretical example?
GwenGwendoline – I am by no means an expert and I don’t hold myself out to be one but the following is a thread I wrote on another forum following posts from other girls saying they wanted to go and lacked the courage or were scared of being ridiculed. Sorry its long winded.
Taking the pain out of going out first time….
So you’ve got your act together. You’ve developed a look and you think that you look like a woman. And you don’t have a gait like John Wayne that says MAN in capital letters. Well you’re close enough for jazz then …..and now you want to test the water in the real world.
So what’s the old business adage? – if you fail to plan – you plan to fail. Well it’s the same here.
While many of us have just gone out on impulse – I suggest if you’ve never done it before careful planning and taking it by easy stages will make it a better experience. At the end of the day, you want to feel what its like to be female for a while…..and build confidence.
Your planning will cover what to wear and what not to wear, when, where, how long – what you will be doing. …..the possible problems and pitfalls…your exit/re-entry strategy. And what and who to avoid when you’re out there.
You’ve been walking around in high heels since you were knee high to a stiletto – but walking in heels on the street or even in a tiled shopping centre is quite different. Apart from the uneven surfaces, changing acoustics, high polish floors and escalators that trap fine heels – there’s the likelihood that your knees will turn to jelly for a while. Just getting out of the car in a skirt without looking clumsy is hard enough without heels. So maybe you’re thinking – mmmm? Sensible shoes? Maybe. Or maybe just sensible height heels.
And maybe you’re thinking it would be less risky and less of a challenge if I wear female clothes that tend to be more unisex or even little more masculine – and that’s fine if you really want to look androgynous. But let’s go back to why you’re doing this – you’re doing it because you believe you’ve reached a good standard of transformation, you want to test that view, you want to experience what it feels like to be female and, ultimately, you want to be able to go out in female mode quite confidently. Also my view is that, at best, you want to pass and, at worst, you want to create enough doubt in the minds of those who pass you and look at you so questioningly that they will still be unsure. Dressing androgynously removes that element of doubt.
Blending in or dressing up? The first time you go out you should try to blend in because you will be nervous and self conscious and you will interpret every sideways look as ‘OMG! I’m failing – get me out of here’ – so the more you blend in, the less looks you will get. So its not the best day to pull out that classic polka dot ‘50s day dress you’ve been yearning to show off. Of course, if you are planning to go out in a business precinct then ‘blending in’ may very well be ‘dressing up’.
Pay attention to detail. Glam make up that works for flash camera photography is too highly coloured for daytime on the street – unless you want to earn some extra money. The right shape sunglasses can work well in reshaping your face as well as adding to your feeling of anonymity. Glasses with more feminine style frames can also help. Mature women often wear wedding rings, eternity rings or engagement rings. Wear a soft cup bra and let the breastforms move like they are supposed to. Surprisingly most women do have hips. If you are doing the business woman thing then have the business women props – like the briefcase, the tote, the water bottle and the mobile phone/ cell phone which gives you something to do. If you are a housewife out shopping then have shopping bags with stuff in them. People fidget when they’re out and you will look more natural if you are taking a call, checking your messages, drinking your water, checking out the shop windows etc. rather than your wide eyes darting left to right to see who’s looking as you plough through. On the other hand don’t have too much happening that you become flustered.
Check the weather before selecting your clothes and wig. Wrap skirts can be a big mistake on a windy day. Long haired wigs will blow around in even light winds and that can be uncomfortable and distracting when you aren’t used to it. Also when selecting your wig, keep in mind that you are planning to go out again and again – and you will need to have a consistent look. Women do change hairstyles but they don’t swap from short blonde to long brunette over a short time frame. In fact most women may colour or modify their styles but few seem to change them radically.
When? I guess most of us think that the dark of night is the best option and it probably is for those who are wanting to dress in club wear or for those who haven’t reached a good level of transformation. But you want to be a female in the real world – in the daytime. There is a lot to be said for going out in the busiest time of day to the busiest place. Generally people will be so much in a rush and so filled with their own concerns that they will pay little attention to you – but close up and personal in a crowded street can be quite unnerving. The quieter times of mid morning and mid afternoon are probably easier to cope with first up. Week days are better than weekends as people are too casual at weekends.
Where? I see no point in going out dressed on secluded back roads or anywhere else devoid of other human beings – it’s just a bigger closet. But wherever you go – go where you have a purpose, real or mythical. Plan your route and be familiar with the area. It may pay you to walk your route in male mode just prior to coming back in female mode. Check for the unexpected – the street sellers, the charity collectors, the market researchers etc. who may approach you. It’s not the big disasters that will happen and throw you off guard – its more likely to be these people or the road maintenance crews or the over friendly toddler etc. etc. when you are faced with that horrible dilemma of having to speak or look very rude.
Exit & Re-entry. If you are leaving from and returning to your home then these may be the risky times for you especially if you are driving a recognizable car. I am lucky inasmuch as my home sits beside a municipal building and car park and I have side exits to the car park. But there are many options – like parking the car a distance away. Or going to a motel.
Make spare keys and keep them permanently in your pocket book/purse.
I know one friend who took a change of male clothes in their car in case of ‘emergency’. It’s not something I recommend as I think the embarrassment of being caught betwixt and between would be greater than being caught fully en femme. [However others responded that they have found it very practical and useful]
Over coming first time nerves – your local pharmacy/drug store will have non prescription medications for occasional anxiety related to public speaking or flying or job interviews – they are worth a try.
These are simply my sundry ideas and I don’t hold myself out as any kind of an expert on the subject but there seems to be a lot of posts about going out. I’m sure there are lots here who can add their own thoughts.
Fiona xx
-
Thanks Fiona, very much appreciated indeed.
Gwen -
AT LAST !!!
Someone who can explain the sensibilities related to going out in public!
Thank you very much Fiona -
Geez, Fiona? You is amazing girl!!! That is brilliant.
-
Thank you very much Brenda and Helen. Made my day.
Fiona xx
-
You’re welcome. Always a pleasure,
HelenQuote:Thank you very much Brenda and Helen. Made my day.Fiona xx
-
Fionna,
To say Thank You is totally unnecessary, after all, you wrote such an impressive essay on having planning for every outing.There is no way you should be saying THANK YOU, because I consider that we, as a sisterhood, should owe you a gigantian Thank You instead
