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First Serious Outing
I was having a chat with a friend, in another forum, we were reminiscing of our early days and the silly, in my case downright stupid, chances taken in our need. I mentioned how I would get in the wee hours of the night/morning when mum and dad and sister were asleep. I would just wear some garment belonging to my sister and feel happy doing that but eventually this wasn’t enough, I am sure you all have experienced this need, the obsession to have a proper outing. Mine had escalated to a humungus degree. I became obsessed with getting out and being among the general public, to be in some small way, accepted.
I had been taking some walks round streets where I lived and in working class, 1960’s Belfast, this was downright stupid, dangerous in fact. Simply put, if a man wore dresses or skirts he was ‘queer’, that was it. No definitions or rationale were necessary or considered. He would get beaten up, badly.
I had a girlfriend who worked in the city, she knew about me and had helped in my purchase of my first wig and other things. I decided to ‘surprise’ her! Understatement?
I didn’t have a car, 17 and no licence, so I took the suburban train. I won’t go into all the details of preparation etc, you all know what that involves so I won’t bore you.
I made it into the city without attracting attention, well I think I did. I wandered round visiting larger department stores. Eventually I walked past the place where my girl friend worked, timing myself to be there when they took a smoke break, it was summer and they were all outside.
She spotted me and came over. As it happened, she wasn’t as surprised as I had expected, she reckoned that it was going to happen sooner or later! Very insightful girl.
Nothing untoward happened, I got home safe. Boring but there it is.
So, anyone else wish to share? -
4 Replies
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Hi to my old Elaine Barrie Project friend Claire and all on TGR.
Nothing so elaborate as your first “pre car licence days” Claire, but feeling the need to walk dressed along a darkened Adelaide or Perth beach circa 10 or 11pm with the attendant risk of being mugged might go close.
To this I guess can be added my first ever dinner out with the girls from the Tiffany Club of New England, just out of Boston. It was either go out with them or starve for the night so I took the former. Still have the photos of a “man in a dress”. No wonder the waitress put us in a “discreet booth”. The fact I nearly ended up back there at lunch the next day in male mode and was scared to death I’d be “Sprung” is another chapter in that story. I should add I was the lunch guest, so I had no say in the choice of venue.
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ClaireStafford wrote:Nothing untoward happened, I got home safe. Boring but there it is.
So, anyone else wish to share?“Safe” can never be boring and I am happy that was how your story ended, well, that chapter anyway.
My first ‘outing’ in full Jane-mode didn’t happen until I was 53! Prior to that the closest I’d come was to wear various levels of underwear/lingerie under my male attire. One example though could have proved dangerous and perhaps could have had wider ramifications if I’d been caught. I was in the Navy in the early 80s and in those days holding a high security clearance required one to have nothing in one’s personal life “that could be used for leaverage and/or intimidation”. I knew of a former workmate who had lost his clearance because he’d shared an apartment with two other sailors who were in a gay relationship, albeit supposedly in secret. He’d failed to report their relationship and so it was thus considered that he’d be a security risk because of that. In my case, had I been caught wearing any elements of female attire it would certainly have resulted in problems for me.
All this I was aware of so if I was in shore establishments I was particularly careful to keep everything I had then well hidden and locked away. When I went back to sea I purged, mainly because there was nowhere I could hide anything in the very limited locker space available at sea.
During one period spent ashore I visited Grace Bothers store in the city and, after much walking backwards and forwards trying to work uo the courage, I began looking through the racks of lingerie. I was approached by an older sales assistant who offered to help me so I fell into the “I’m looking for something for my girlfriend, she’s a big girl” routine. I had the usual fear that this lady knew who the items were really for but I was commited. We settled on a lovely powder blue bra and knickers combination and I accepted her offer to gift wrap them for me. I couldn’t wait to get back to my cabin to try them on.
It was heavenly putting them on and wearing them as I paced around the cabin but that didn’t feel enough. Then I did what can now only be described as reckless and silly. I put my uniform on over the bra and knickers and then went for a short walk through the accommodation block. I got a drink from a vending machine and walked back to my cabin feeling on top of the world. Moments after I got into the cabin I heard a group of shipmates returning from a ‘run ashore’, which meant that they were quite intoxicated. I’m not sure which shipmates they were but I can only imagine what would have happened had they seen me wandering the passageways in uniform with a significantly more ‘enhanced’ chest definition. At best I’d have been ridiculed, at worst I could have been assaulted for being ‘gay’. Just like Claire’s environment at the time, a man in female attire was always considered gay.
Thankfully I survived the experience but I never did anything so reckless again. Years later, when working in plain clothes, I began to wear knickers, pantyhose and sometimes a sports bra under my clothes but I always ensured that nothing was visible. Nowadays I wear what I like because my family now knows and I can’t be sacked from being retired. Life is certainly much easier.
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Hi Jane. About 30 years back my wife complained to her two sisters about my crossdressing. They immediately told their husbands but I loved the reaction of one of my brothers-in-law who at the time was in the RAN. He just shrugged his shoulders and said “There’s a lot of that in the navy”.
My own first time out was about the same time. I decided to go for a walk in a Canberra park. I put on a conservative denim skirt and sleeveless white top with a dodgy wig from the back of my wife’s wardrobe. I took on board a bit of Dutch courage and drove to the selected park. I had a quick walk then dashed back to the car. My mistake was to choose a park near the Governor General’s residence. As I went to drive out of the car park a police car came in. He stared at me as I went past, then followed me for a few kms as I drove carefully under the speed limit. Finally he pulled me over and asked what I had been doing. I was completely honest, terrified I’d be locked up for drink driving, would lose my security clearance etc. Perhaps to teach me a lesson I was given a serious frisk search and told to go straight home.
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My first real ” outing” was when some friends, who I had told of my interests a few weeks before, rang and invited me to come to dinner and to come dressed up. My wife at the time was very involved in my cross dressing but the move to being more honest with friends meant she felt she would be judged and things began to slide in that area. We not long after went to a school function where the theme was ” some like it hot” and so a few men thought that we should all dress up but guess who was the only one to go through with it? I had a great night though and had total acceptance so it only encouraged me to be more and more open.
