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Thank you!
A beautiful evening…
On my recent trip to Brisbane I had the pleasure of being able to catch up with Jane_1. We had only had chats on TGR previously and earlier attempts to catch up had been thwarted by other commitments. Well, we finally were able to set a date and have a lovely meal together.
I must say it was truly one of the highlights of my life. I know that’s a huge statement to make, but I can honestly say that it was. I have lived a very sheltered life in terms of my dressing and have very rarely been outside. But since I’ve been traveling a bit more with work, I have been taking a few more liberties with my dressing and going out is one of them. When you live in a small community, where you know practically everyone, it’s extremely difficult to go out dressed. It’s very liberating when you know that you have the freedom to be able to go out and present as a woman, without the fear of running into your next-door neighbour.
Some of the things that I found out on the night. No one took any notice of us. The staff at the restaurant were exceptional and acted like everything was completely normal. The funny thing was that the restaurant was extremely busy for a midweek night and so it was packed. At the beginning of the night I was a little bit nervous, as this was the first time I’d ever been to dinner presenting as a woman. I had been out previously while shopping and other excursions to coffee shops and the like, but never had I been out with another like-minded person for dinner. Guess what? It’s not the last time I’m doing it either.
It felt so wonderful to be out and about, enjoying a girl’s night out. I don’t know why we don’t do it more often. I know, because we live in fear that we will be ridiculed. I have now come to realise that these fears are all unfounded and imagined. Over the last few months I have overcome a myriad of hurdles that I had previously put in my own way. Well, they’re coming down little by little and I’m going to be getting out as much as I can.
I would sincerely like to thank Jane_1 for her support and advise. It is amazing how we all share very similar histories and it just feels so good to be able to talk to someone who is truly sympathetic to what we are going through and how we feel. It really does take a load off and gives you a lovely sense of elation.
Yes, I still have some issues to get through, but at the end of the day it’s all about our happiness and getting on in life. We’re on this planet for such a short time and we need to make the most of what we were given. Slip into something nice, slap on some makeup, pull on that wig and strut those heels girls, it’s a great big wonderful world out there just waiting for you to explore.
Thank you, Jane, for opening my eyes to what a wonderful world we live in. You are the best. And thank you, Amanda, for giving us the outlet, TGR, to share our joys and our fears.
Hugs to all,
Jessica -
11 Replies
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That’s just what I am doing Jessica. I have started going out for meals with a friend in Newtown. What a liberating experience. Wish I could have done it earlier in life.
Hugs,
Fay
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You can add me to that list. Recently I’ve been stepping out in public more and more after coming to the realisation that no one cares. Maybe society has changed a lot in recent years, and I’m sure location does make a difference. But it is liberating to realise the fears were unfounded and I can live life as myself.
Maddie -
Great series of posts. Time I put my skirt and heels back on and ventured out too. Nothing as liberating. Although I know it’s off topic a tad, and apologies in advance for this, but I have been concerned of late that the Same Sex Marriage debate seems to have dragged up some anti Trans sentiment at times and one that had been slowly eroding over time to the extent that there was clearly greater acceptance of us. As a new Australian of many decades I was surprised that my home country Ireland fully embraced it and moved on to more important matters. Anyhow I just say all of this within the context of wanting to go out more but aware that our country has been polarised by debate around SS unions but that at times the gender debate has been dragged into the melee. Thanks again for the posts on getting out more. Cannot wait for next year’s TF but better get some practice in before then. Hugs to all of you out there. Marian
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Count me in to , im out this weekend with a couple of GGs i came out to and we are all out for a girls night in Sydney , the more one goes out the more you want to i feel .
Thanks to Adrian a few years ago with arranging the Transformal my first real weekend out , well since then i have grown so much and feel so much more conferdent to go out , and your right people just dont seem to care , a lot is in our own minds , so im going to enjoy this weekend and strut my stuff in Sydney sat night and love every min of it too :cheer: :cheer:
So slip that dress on and go for it , no better feeling than going out enjoy all
Petra xoxox -
In what could seem like synchronicity, when I logged in this morning the featured article that popped up was Emma Thorne’s post ‘You won’t meet a great friend sitting at home watching Midsomer Murders and taking selfies…trust me’. It was wonderful to re-read it, though it doesn’t seem that long ago that I read it for the first time.
The interesting thing is that the message in that article is essentially the same. There’s a whole world out there waiting for us to explore, and we are part of it. Having survived the depths of yet another Canberra winter, my Good Lady and I have begun venturing out of an evening. Just over a week ago it was to join a few other girls at a local restaurant in the city. Last week it was also a restaurant, this time to introduce a visiting CD friend to some of the girls. Both nights were fun, pleasant and resulted in no more ‘looks’ than any other group of happy diners. Indeed, at the last restaurant, the staff genuinely seemed to enjoy our company. They were very attentive and engaging. It was a wonderful evening, not to mention great food.
So, as both Emma and Jessica have said, take a chance. Step back from the keyboard, put on that dress you’ve been dying to wear and go introduce yourself to the world. Most people are too caught up in their own lives to worry about those of us who will never “pass”. I’m happy to be seen as who I am, someone who likes to dress nicely and have a fun night out with friends. It’s well worth the effort.
Enjoy.
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Hi all,
To everyone who have replied to this topic and to those who have read it. Thank you. It gives us all the confidence and assurance that we are not alone in our “fears”. It truly is a most liberating experience and even though there is a movement going on to try and drag up the old days, you need to look beyond that and just live each day for what it is. The funny part is once you do it you’ll never look back. Have you ever tried to put the toothpaste back into the tube? Have fun girls and enjoy those excursions into the big wide world. Always have a smile on your face.
Hugs to all,
Jessica -
Hi all, and especially Jessica, I too have not been out and about enough, but I will never forget the first time. it was like an electric light being switched on. I remember every detail about my date’s car, and every detail of the journey. I was hyper-ware (everyone, just everyone was looking at me) on our way to the party, and super-relaxed about it all on the way back (er, no they’re not, they all have their own fish to fry). It was addictive.
Thanks again for razing it Jessica
V
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love being out in my comfy clothes. Thanks to everyone sharing their stories as it is good hearing how people get through this and be who they really are. Juliette xx
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Yes, yes, yes and yes. Which is not only the appropriate response to this ludicrous plebiscite, but also abou getting out and about. I agree with everyone in this topic which I think is a celebration of all of us as distinct from the royal”we”. Though that said the path to enlightenment is an individual journey though lit by the many people travelling with and before us.
I can think back some ten years ago to my first outing, the project plan would of done Utopia proud. I bought the ticket to the show at the Opera House during the day, I stepped out the path I would take, seeking the way to avoid the most people. I sweated all day, but that night as I made my hurried journey from the car park and arrived at the Opera House forecourt and stood there in all my finery looking back at the CBD at night with my glass of champagne, I knew it was worth it and this was me. Everything felt right and this is where the “Thank you” comes in. You see apart from being alone and not able to share the joy I knew from these forums what to expect and that I wasn’t alone. It was and still is brilliant. Sadly I still don’t get out as much as I should and mostly it’s by myself, but the excitement is still there and the difference between Alan and Alana is quite marked. So yes thank you to those who have strutted before me and cleared the way, by giving us a presence within the general community, because that is where we rightly belong. -
Great words Alana.
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This was a great series of posts about the joys of being out socially and mixing with the general public.
As March 31st is the Transgender Day of Visibility I would urge people to celebrate the day by doing just that !!! … being out and visible.
Its a day dedicated to highlighting and celebrating the accomplishments of transgender and gender-nonconforming people around the world.ACON is using the day to launch in Sydney its TRANSHUB Digital Platform to promote health and welll being amongst the Transgender community. They are doing great things to help us.
