-
Unwelcome attention – you are not alone!
After all the kerfuffle about predators recently, it occurred to me that GW’s have to put up with this crap a lot of the time and we share in it when we enter their world. The fact that they are stared at , commented on publicly and compared , by both men and other women, is something that one misses when in drab and is uncomfortable when it is experienced.
Spare a thought for the disabled, Indigenous and disfigured for even more obvious attention! -
4 Replies
-
Quote:Spare a thought for the disabled, Indigenous and disfigured for even more obvious attention!
This is a great point and something I experience on a daily basis.About two years ago my wife lost 90% of her eye sight due to a bleed on her retinas.She uses a white stick and is constantly stared at, and she certainly knows they are staring.
Take care Lilly M.
-
Yes, you are right Christine.
Once we present ourselves as women we have to be prepared for unwelcome attention. Most women find some attention quite welcome when it is pleasant, articulate and polite but it crosses the line when it becomes vulgar, loud, persistent, annoying or scary.
The extent to which I dress to attract attention has always has been a bit of a vexed question for me. While I don’t dress in anyway outlandishly or like a tart, I do dress with the intention of being admired – even if I fail. I’m a bit long in the tooth now for mini skirts but I did enjoy wearing short skirts very much when I was in my 20s. And I’m sure I wanted attention from the right sort of person.
The right sort? I used to walk quite a bit with my teen daughter who was visibly disgusted at being given ‘greasies’ by anyone over the age of 20 but mildly pleased by looks from boys around her age. ‘Welcome’ or ‘unwelcome’ is sometimes a matter of a few degrees.
Once I become openly transgendered, and genetic male in female clothes, then I do have to be prepared for a different sort attention – that of the strange and abnormal. Here the attention varies from the curious but friendly – to the patronizingly polite – and some do over compensate in their efforts to be non discriminatory – to the contemptuous.
I do know that drivers of whatever gender are more likely to stop at corners to let me cross when I’m in female mode – the advantage of a higher visibility.
Interesting subject though.
Fiona xx
-
Fiona Alexis, you are right about the level and type of attention. I have experienced the polite complement ” I like your hair ” to the abusive, “Queer C.” shouted from cars but many of my GW friends report the same sort of comments in public. The other side of it is that they also tend to become invisible as they age!
My point really is that the background experience of being on public display is more intense for GW’s and is a lifelong thing whereas GM do not have the same level of attention and so it is notable when we feel it.
Ironically , this new experience is a geniune female one we share with GW’s. -
Quote:My point really is that the background experience of being on public display is more intense for GW’s and is a lifelong thing whereas GM do not have the same level of attention and so it is notable when we feel it.
Ironically , this new experience is a geniune female one we share with GW’s.Yes, absolutely Christina. It is quite unnatural for us and even the polite ones can be unnerving when expressed in public. Women deal with them intuitively whereas I’m pretty awkward.
