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1. Emma Thorne spends 5 minutes with….Caroline Hart
Hi bitches
In my latest project I’m going to be doing brief interviews with some of the people I find fascinating and I will be sharing these chats with you.This will be a semi-regular series and I hope you enjoy them as much as I did[u]Introduction[/u]
I’ve known Caroline Hart for a very long time. She is a charming and dear friend to not only me, but to countless girls across our community. If there is a more giving and generous person with her time for newly emerging girls I have yet to meet them yet there is much more to Caroline than her advocacy of issues she believes in and her excellent good humour. Please join me as I spend 5 minutes with the lovely Caroline Hart….
ET: Where did life start for Caroline Hart ?
CH: I was born at Sacred Heart Hospital In Coburg, Melbourne in 1949 and for the first 3 years lived in South Melbourne.
ET: What is your earliest memory ?CH: I remember living at my Paternal Grandmothers house in Albert Park 36 Dundas Place and getting a tricycle for my birthday when I was about four years old , we moved to our own house a few doors away when I was about eight. My primary school was a catholic one and for a few years I was taught by Nuns . There were lots of other kids in the neighbourhood and two milk bars and a cinema . There were two beautiful English girls across the road , daughters of the Milk Bar owner, they were a quite a bit older than me and I was infatuated with them, they had a younger brother who was my best friend at the time and so I saw these girls often.
ET: Do you have siblings and what about your parents? What did they do in life ?CH: I don’t have any siblings and my father was an only child as well and so was his father. My father was a telephone technician , later a Senior Technical Instructor working for what was then called the PMG He saw active service in the Army in the Middle East and New Guinea during the war. He played the Piano very well and there was a Lady who also played the piano at a local Hotel They often played duets together . My mother worked in a Mens and Womens Department Store Meadens In our neighbourhood. The Mens department on one side and the Womens department on the other . I’ll never forget the contrast between the dull looking clothes in the Mens department and the Blouses , Skirts and Lingerie on display in the Womens Department. I loved the feel of them when I was in the store after school on some days I can’t recall if I was ever noticed doing that
ET You are renowned as a passionate promoter and advocate for the Transgender Community. What motivates you ?
CH: Well , I was very shy when I first ventured out to a Seahorse Meeting a long time ago. I was lucky to have a few people take me under their wing and give me a bit of confidence and some advice on clothing or make up. I thought they were Goddesses. I was later invited on the committee or put my hand up when and no one else did ? I’m not sure which !. That helped my confidence even more . I became a Big Sister to others who were just beginning to come out of the closet and attend Seahorse meetings, so I’ve always felt a strong desire to give back to others the sort of help that I received in my early days. I have some wonderful friends in the community and I really enjoy our social times together. That’s also a strong motivator for me
ET You are fortunate to have a very supportive partner. Has it always been so and what do you attribute it to
CH NO not at all! . After I was caught out all those years ago and had to explain everything after years of concealment she tolerated it but often spoke to me about stopping in case our son found out. She was also anxious about my safety when out and wasn’t comfortable about being out with me. Eventually though she came to a Seahorse Ball , perhaps 2004? but stayed in the Hotel room all night. Since then she has come to enjoy the company of my Trans friends and has even accepted my more recent life changes such as HT and change of name. I think she has realised that it’s something that’s innate about me and can’t change. Despite our ups and downs we take good care of each other and she realises that’s it’s not worth breaking up a relationship that has lasted 43 years just because her partner is Transgender. The fact that I told close friends , work colleagues , Son and daughter in law a few years ago and the reaction with just one exception has been strongly supportive has also helped her feel a lot more comfortable about Caroline
ET It is a difficult road for many partners of a transgender person. Wave seen that recently you’ve started a group for the partners to try and navigate that often rocky road and you have counselled many people over the years on this subject. Presumably these are partners who have already gone some way down the acceptance path and would like to hear the experiences of others ? In my experience, and I’ve discussed this subject often with emerging girls, there is no middle ground. There is either some acceptance, often grudgingly and through gritted teeth to start with, or there is total rejection. What are your thoughts?CH I sincerely hope my Project TransForm in February next year will assist some couples in taking at least a few more steps towards a level of acceptance that may have seemed unattainable. I have a view, perhaps mistaken, that the fact that some partners see an attempt to help them will also go some way to reducing even for a temporary period , the stresses on the relationships . The partners meetings that were held at Transformal in recent years were a first response to addressing partner concerns.
I certainly agree that there are some Trans People that are currently IN or have HAD relationships where the partner shows total rejection. I know several examples where there is current hostility by the partner and the relationship under severe threat and also some relationships that were terminated as a result of total rejection by the partner.
Yes , I agree with you, in the case of “emerging “ girls there is either grudging tolerance perhaps tinged with some acceptance or Total rejection . I don’t know of any examples where partners once they know about their SO being Trans will have the attitude “ Oh Great lets go out together and go shopping and go nightclubbing together”
In my own case there was indeed grudging tolerance tinged with acceptance BUT I was fortunate that the acceptance level grew over a period of time , glacially slow at times for me but I knew It would be dangerous to push too hard for acceptance.
The question of what causes Total rejection is a difficult one to answer , probably multiple reasons but a personality that can’t accept diversity in human nature is probably a common componentEMMA’S QUICK QUIZ
ET: What do you sing in the shower ?
CH I rarely sing in the shower but when I do it’s something like The Doors “C’mon C’mon …Touch me Babe”
ET Favourite Holiday Location?CH Anywhere that has a Wine growing district I’ve been to all in Australia .. next one will be Bordeaux in France
ET If you could have done anything at all in life as a vocation what would it have been ?
CH Id loved to have been a Classical Pianist. I realised this many years ago and I foolishly gave up piano lessons when I was young. Maybe I can learn now ?? LOL
Q: What is the capital of Texas (no cheating by looking it up on the interweb
A: Its Austin, I know that because I worked with a gorgeous lady in the late 1980s whose name was Irene Austin she was a former model and was married to a famous Sydney Radio DJ of the 60’s by the name of Ward “Pally” Austin who was an afficionado of everything Confederate. They went to Texas on a holiday after they were married and met up with Elvis Presley. I became aware that Austin was the capital.
Q: Name the thing you are most proud of
A: We have a Son who shares the same sense of humour as his parents and although politically he is a little bit right wing he acknowledges and accepts people who are gender diverse. Our Daughter in law is the same !! I couldn’t have hoped for anything better than that. He has also developed the same enjoyment in wine as we have. Two lovely grandkids Boy and Girl who at this stage at least havnt met Caroline.
Q: If you could take yourself back to a particular moment or time in your life where/what would it be?
A: I’d love to go back to Wengen in Switzerland and see if I could beat my time on the Lauberhorn Downhill course. Unlikely I think !!! By far the most beautiful place Ive been to
Q: How much do you like me?
A: In much the same way as I like a really nice Pinot or Champagne ie very much !! Once you have enjoyed the flavour of a good friendship, it lasts foreverET: See that wasn’t that hard was it? Caroline, my dear friend, thank you for spending 5 minutes with Emma Thorne and being so honest. One last question: People like you and I have transcended the period between hiding our lifestyles away to now where it has never been a better time in history to be transgendered. What are your hopes for the future and what do you think our community will look like in 50 years time when we are pushing up the daisies?
CH:There are clearly two possibilities , things will be more favourable or less favourable. Im inclined to think that things will be more favourable for the gender diverse in future as humanity realises that it is important to live cooperatively and embrace diversity as part of our being.
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1 Reply
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Thank you Emma its been a pleasure chatting to you.
xxx
Caroline
