a community of me

[Anonymous]

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is it possible that we can change the way the future unfolds.

Which way is it currently unfolding?

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We may all then be able to feel engaged

Engaged with whom & to what purpose?

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There is no structure , no linkages to facilitate free flowing communication between people who could change the future of our community.

It think that’s a little unfair to Amanda-Adrian, considering the huge & ongoing effort put into TgR as a place to communicate. It seems to me there are many ways to contact others who are gender diverse.
As for your other thoughts, it does appear that there is some reticence in speaking up. Certainly, without others also engaging there is little sense of community.

[Anonymous]

In light of what is afoot in the anti discrimination world of law, I feel that a lot of our discussions are no longer needed. However there is still of course the health issues, and the retirement villages. Perhaps if we just keep up the pressure we will gain some ground eventually.

The discussions had I feel stagnated in the forums and with only a small number of us engaged in them there weren’t too many new idea’s cropping up. I have been writing to Politicians about the anti discrimination laws but hopefully this has been addressed to most of our needs by the other party.

I am always open to new discussions on any subject, but as to whether we have a community voice, well of course we do, lots of little ones nibbling away at the foundations of discrimination every day. Keep spreading the word and eventually you won’t have to it will spread by itself.

[Adrian]

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In light of what is afoot in the anti discrimination world of law, I feel that a lot of our discussions are no longer needed.

I was looking for the smiley there, but it was missing. So have this one 😆

So IF by some miracle the recommended changes to anti-discrimination legislation proposed by a minority government and opposed by the other two parties gets through both houses….

THEN

….All the gender diverse in Australia will be able to come out to their partners and families and win instant and unconditional acceptance?

…And everyone in employment will take the opportunity to wear clothes of their chosen gender identity secure in the knowledge that they will be accepted and not penalised. And those seeking work will encounter no discrimination because of their obvious gender diverse background.

…and even-toed ungulates will turn pink and circle over the harbour bridge!!

If only we had all realised how simple the problems were to solve

As for the “community of one/me”, as well being an oxymoron it is probably just a euphemism for a individual pushing their own barrow of issues up a very steep hill.
So keep on chipping everyone… but please don’t loose sight of how big the mountain is.
For some jobs it is worth hiring a bob-cat.

[Anonymous]

Some thoughts;

Assuming we all accept the already offered definitions of ‘community’, it does not preclude us from individually chipping away at whatever issues we feel are important & within the scope of what we can personally deal with. We are still part of a collective of people with similar needs.

We have discussed numerous issues; from what we want to tell society about us, what we think society already thinks, what political stances are happening & what we would like to happen. What we haven’t yet done is compile the information & discuss what we we might do with it.

What is missing at the moment is some type of leadership. With this comment I am not suggesting anything other than identifying a possible reason why we have stalled.

We have had discussions & gone no further.
Does anyone have any constructive comments toward these thoughts?

I am quite prepared to go back over all the comments & summarise the various thoughts from the various threads…it was my intention from the outset. I don’t however wish to be seen to be trying to ‘run the show’. It’s not my show, it’s ‘our’ lives.

P.S. I can supply the Bobcat, excavator & truck…& at a reduced cost for a worthy cause. 😉

[JaneS]

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So IF by some miracle the recommended changes to anti-discrimination legislation proposed by a minority government and opposed by the other two parties gets through both houses….

THEN

….All the gender diverse in Australia will be able to come out to their partners and families and win instant and unconditional acceptance?

…And everyone in employment will take the opportunity to wear clothes of their chosen gender identity secure in the knowledge that they will be accepted and not penalised. And those seeking work will encounter no discrimination because of their obvious gender diverse background.

…and even-toed ungulates will turn pink and circle over the harbour bridge!!

… and we are all right back where we started the very first time anyone, under the definitions of the proposed legislation, says that they have been “offended” by the words, deeds or actions of another, such as someone having the audacity to wear in public the garments socially intended for others or, heaven forbid, tries to present an appearance that does not match their birth sex.

Sorry Pamela but I fear the proposed legislation, without heavy rewrites, offers more risks than benefits to our ‘community’ because it has the potential to give voice to bigoted minorities.

[Anonymous]

So really it seems that whatever happens there will be someone who disagrees with the result.

As we all know things happen in small steps and as far as I can see any change to accept TG people under the anti discrimination laws without all the jumping through bureaucratic hoops is a step in the right direction.

As for my comment on not needing any more discussion Amanda/Adrian was right I didn’t put the smiley face in as I couldn’t work out how to do one with a sarcastic expression.

As for all of this:-

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….All the gender diverse in Australia will be able to come out to their partners and families and win instant and unconditional acceptance?

I’m not sure what an Ungulate is, but I just saw something Pink circling over my house.

…And everyone in employment will take the opportunity to wear clothes of their chosen gender identity secure in the knowledge that they will be accepted and not penalised. And those seeking work will encounter no discrimination because of their obvious gender diverse background.

…and even-toed ungulates will turn pink and circle over the harbour bridge!!

Did anyone actually think that these suggested changes would protect them from their wives, No I don’t think so. Did anyone think that these changes to the laws would protect them unconditionally in the work place as well, No I don’t think so. Do the anti discrimination laws really protect anyone from any discriminatory attack, No I don’t think so.

But they do one thing for us if by some miracle they get through, they give us some of the unconditional recognition we wanted. That in itself is worth having, at least I think so any way.

[Anonymous]

The problem I see with all these discussions is that they do indeed go around in circles, as soon as someone makes a little headway and leads the discussion down a useful path, someone comes along with a negative attitude and reverses the whole thing again.

Reading these negative posts however has revealed one thing to me and that is, 90% of these negative posts are dripping in fear.

“Oh don’t do that someone might find out about us, heaven forbid don’t change the laws we don’t really want to be recognised.” Noone can do anything useful here because as soon as you start to make sense, someone beats you around the head with it and ridicules you. There’s a brick wall here stopping anything remotely useful happening in TG Land.

However I am still going to fight for Transgender Rights and I will still welcome emails from any one of you who is genuinely interested in joining the battle, but as for wasting useful information on this forum, No I don’t think so.

[Anonymous]

As the TgR survey demonstrated, there is a diversity of gender variant behaviours and presentations within our community. A majority of respondents said they express their female side in private or only occasionally in public: I go public on average once a fortnight. I’m treated respectfully and have had no incident of discrimination or abuse. I can (and do) use the ladies’ loo and can indeed dress legally in public: it was illegal in the ’60s when I first started dressing. I also had a period, in 2000, of full-time presentation as a female (including working for the Commonwealth government), and had no problem then either.

I personally therefore have no need for any political or social change. However, I’m aware (from this forum and the TgR survey) that some TgR members have experienced abuse and discrimination, especially in the workplace. My perception is that it’s the full-time transgendered person who is most at risk of such, even though there are laws that “protect” us. I further perceive therefore that society’s attitudes need to change, rather than having more legislation. Politicians can’t legislate acceptance, so I see no point lobbying them for it.

Personally, I think that the more we come-out to our family and friends, and the more we mix socially/publicly, then attitudes will change. It’s the transgender equivalent of the Aunt Sally Effect. That said, I’d be happy to support specific initiatives with targeted outcomes if someone is able to define such.

Regards, Chantelle.

[Adrian]

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I further perceive therefore that society’s attitudes need to change, rather than having more legislation. Politicians can’t legislate acceptance, so I see no point lobbying them for it.

Personally, I think that the more we come-out to our family and friends, and the more we mix socially/publicly, then attitudes will change.

I couldn’t agree more with you Chantelle. The TgR Survey pointed strongly to a lack of acceptance being the hurdle most people encounter in society. And, I have stated before in these forums, you can’t legislate acceptance.

Acceptance follows from Visibility and then Understanding.

Visibility means telling people about your diversity. I have yet to encounter anyone who reacts adversely to me telling them about the way I feel (though I haven’t plucked up the courage to tell my Mum yet!). Like Chloe has documented elsewhere, the common reactions range from indifference to positive support. I will be the first to acknowledge that visibility is not an option for everyone. But the arguments for not telling anyone because of the expected adverse reaction are I think frequently over-stated.

Understanding means giving people a message they can relate to. We might be immersed in the finer points of our gender – but acceptance needs understanding of the big picture. What ever the message, be it “I’m a guy who likes wearing skirts”, “I’m transgender”, “I’m a very feminine guy”, “I feel essentially like a woman” – keep the message clear and founded on commonly held values in society. I’d avoid trying to single handedly demolish the norms and stereotypes of man and woman that most people’s understanding is founded on. Being visible with a simple message will lead to understanding both of you and of the diversity of our community.

At the start of this thread Kristyana asserted:

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Most people seem disenfranchised and see little point in activism and seem fixated on their personal situation.

The only part of this statement that I think is true is that we see little point in activism.
I think most of us realise that activism is not a route to general acceptance in the public. And without acceptance all the laws in the land won’t change the attitudes of our partners, employers, or neighbors.

Perhaps the visible and articulate community of “me” is something we should all try to embrace.

[Anonymous]

Well it would appear there is a kind of obstinacy in peoples minds that dictates activism means legislation to order compliance to some behavioural dictate for the greater population. Activism can be used as a vehicle to get funding to allow organisations to pursue things such as public education campaigns and social support if anyone believes they can do this alone they are better than me . With funding people can make concentrated efforts to achieve outcomes for the greater good. I can’t educate the greater population, I can’t provide social and psychological support to every one of the gender diverse population.

A funded organised organisation could , people could be paid and therefore focused rather than just doing what there means will allow. Activism is not a one trick pony. I will always believe we can do better, we can have a strong feeling of community we can change the world but only together.

[Anonymous]

Moderator

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The post that was here has been moved because it made no attempt to address the original post that started the thread. The moved post was about anti-discrimination laws and I am at loss to understand how it met the three conditions presented on posting.

I’m assuming it was posted in the wrong forum.. but tidying up such “mistakes” shows a lack of respect for the time and effort it causes the moderators.

Please read the questions you are asked on posting – and if in doubt about the relevance of your post to the thread you have selected please post somewhere else.

Amanda

[Anonymous]

Maybe it’s because some of the members are still in the early days of finding out who they are and how they have to come to terms with their lives. Lets consider a case where a member has a family and has repressed themselves for a long period of time. There would be a great deal that had to be worked out in those circumstances. Then there are those within this forum who are committed to living the lives they were meant to. Their experiences and support given to others is immeasurable.

I don’t post very often; however, I always find substance in the topics I like to add my opinion to. I’ll agree with Chloe and her comments. The should be a great deal of thanks given to the moderators of this site and the events that are held and advertised.

I’m aware of Cafe Nights where expressions, ideas and a sense of welcome is always the norm. I believe there is sufficient advertising of those events through this site and congratulations should be forwarded to those who moderate and own this site.

I can recall in the early days when there was no more than 250 odd members.. Look at us now and the support that is given through forums, meetings and events.