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A man asks me to share a drink!
Sitting on the plane flying into Bangkok, I started to think and realised I had not been thinking at all. Sometimes I am so busy, forward planning is confined to the essential and not the “what if”. But as I was sitting in the aircraft seat, annoyed by the fat guy sitting next to me whose fat elbow kept on nudging my tummy, I suddenly thought here I am with two suitcases mostly full of girl stuff, I will be on my own at the airport hotel overnight and what could be more anonymous than a large hotel full of itinerants. I debated this in my mind as I had planned to do as little unpacking as possible and this would involve a major undoing of all my careful packing. But then I thought what an opportunity; these don’t come around very often.
When I arrived at the hotel, I was still having a debate with myself and when I got into my room almost chickened out but the deciding factor was that a missed opportunity like this would almost certainly be regretted. If my wife had been there it would most certainly not have been able to happen; the one and only problem she has with my dressing is that she does not want to be seen with me in public when we are ‘out’. However, this rule was not a factor now.
So I chose a purple knee length shift dress with a long thin black over-jacket and my super comfortable Hush Puppy wide fit black shoes with a 2 inch heel. My best wig had survived the rigours of the suitcase quite well and after the usual routine of shave, shower, make-up and dressing I was ready to go. No time to do the nails, so bad luck with that.
I went to the bar first and skirted around the circular bar looking for a seat, preferably away from the bar itself which was mostly populated by men. The place was more crowded that I remembered but as I completed the circumnavigation of the bar, a couple vacated their seats in a position that was relatively quiet. After two glasses of white wine, I felt relaxed and happy. I needed two because the servings were so small they would have fitted into your average egg-cup.
After that I went to the restaurant and chose a few dishes from the buffet helped down by the almost acceptable house red. As I was finishing, a guy approached me and asked if I spoke English to which, of course, I said yes. Then he asked me quite politely if I would like to share a drink with him. I firmly and politely said: “No thank you.”
This was a completely new experience for me. The guy was not drunk or objectionable in any way, but I felt I would be deceiving him if I did not immediately tell him who I really was. I’m not sure what the consequences of that might have been. (I wonder what might have happened if it had been a beautiful woman!)
Perhaps others have had similar experiences or may have reacted differently?
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4 Replies
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Had I been in your shoes Martina, I think I would have asked the fellow where his spectacles were. If that would have failed I probably would have raced off into the ladies to check in the mirror; there may have been an unknown magical instant transformation from crabby old bastard to beautiful, voluptuous piece of crumpet. Magical and mysterious events happen in Bangkok as we all know; just look around you.
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I’d feel very flattered that he asked, but like you, I don’t think I could have accepted.
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Liz wrote:Magical and mysterious events happen in Bangkok as we all know; just look around you.
They certainly do. I was propositioned in a hotel bar there but in my case I was the ugly male and the propositioner was a tall leggy blonde person. I didn’t have to check my moral compass though or do a risk assessment. I just told the truth that I was killing an hour waiting for the shuttle to the airport en route home. She wandered off looking for a more promising mark.
Well done you Martina.
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Martina wrote:a guy approached me and asked if I spoke English to which, of course, I said yes. Then he asked me quite politely if I would like to share a drink with him. I firmly and politely said: “No thank you.”
This was a completely new experience for me. The guy was not drunk or objectionable in any way, but I felt I would be deceiving him if I did not immediately tell him who I really was. I’m not sure what the consequences of that might have been. (I wonder what might have happened if it had been a beautiful woman!)
Perhaps others have had similar experiences or may have reacted differently?I have been in similar situations, long ago, and had discussed this with a work colleague, a girl friend who offered me the advice that if a male did approach and offered ‘sharing a drink’ it would be all right to accept but the male was not allowed to make the assumption it was going to lead to ‘anything’, which is why she always insisted on paying her round. Same with a dinner invite. she said the free dinner paid for her companionship and her smart and witty conversation but nothing else.
I think in your situation I would probably have done the same thing and politely declined. It is nice to think that someone thought of you as attractive, but really not surprising as you do present as an attractive woman.
