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A new way of looking at things
Hello girls
I’m trying to take small steps (not very hard, tho) but the steps are taking me!
I woke up this morning with a blazing new perspective on things…I’ve always thought that I was a male person who had a hidden female personality needing to come out and be recognised.
But I’m not!
I’ve finally understood that I am a woman! I’m a woman living ina great big male body…I walk like a man (Mostly), talk like a man (less and less) and look like a man.
But I think like a woman…I have ideas like a woman…I have the nurturing feelings of a woman
My male ego is my protection against being seen as effiminate…but now I want to be effeminate! I want to be seen by males and females as womanly…someone who is caring, gentle, available to confide in, trustworthy, loving…
Now with your help and support I can come out and be me even when I’m in overalls with a hammer in one hand and dirt all over
Blees you all,
Clare 🙄 🙄 -
5 Replies
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hi clare, thats really good you worked that out… and a LOT of people feel the same way .. thats the point when you KNOW you have to do something about it ..
And yes, You can still be you when your working all dirty with a hammer! Im prob the only transexual that runs a high performance car workshop!
Also, I think like a women, talk like a women, get called ma’am all the time, i don’t think i’ve been called a bloke in ages now.welcome to GID or GD as its called!
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Hi Clare,
When I read your posting I couldn’t help but think how well you had expressed what I have felt for 30 or 40 years.
I know I am a woman. I can even accept that I am a woman. But what I don’t seem to be able to do is BE a woman.
I know all the steps that I need to take, I have been diagnosed as suffering from gender disphoria, have attended the physc, have attended counselling at the Gener Centre. have even been on hormones and was delighted with the changes that startted happening but could not bring myself to continue.
Can someone out there tell me the HOW of being me in front of all the people who only think they know me? That’s the biggest issue, the family, the kids, the friends…..
Philippa
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Hi again from FNQ,
It is a slow and sometimes painful experience telling people you care for, some you love. I have told about 15 people at work and three people I have worked with. My family knows, I have appeared at my parents and my wife dressed with a makeover done by a make up artist and also by my self. It is not easy to tell people, but it does get easier the more people you tell. If you can’t think of the words, please ask one of us or read a copy of Wrapped In Blue (Donna Rose). There is a letter in the book. I used the format and themes but wrote my own words, telling my own story. I found that writing the letter helped me to consider other peoples responses and yet explain the mystery as best I knew with the information at hand. This has made the job of telling people easier as I just ask them to read the letter. The letter answers most questions before they come to the readers mind. Bless you Donna Rose. If any of you would like a copy of my letter, I will send it to your personal e-mail address, but I will edit out various words and names. I am still not OUT at work in the general sense.
It is then up to you to maybe show these people some pictures of yourself dressed up with make up etc. You should never dress down for the pictures, always make sure you look your best yet casual, as if to say that this is how you would look nearly every day. I have posted a picture of me on this site. it was taken Wednesday 21st June, 2006.Hugs everybody,
Norah Danielle -
Quote:Can someone out there tell me the HOW of being me in front of all the people who only think they know me? That’s the biggest issue, the family, the kids, the friends…..
The “HOW”? Really there is only one answer to the “HOW” and that is being true to yourself.
It can hurt like hell when someone you love rejects you because of who you truely are, but in many cases the rejection is only short lived. All my close friends and a lot of my other friends, along with my entire family know my circumstance. I am not out at my new job and still work male but I am just waiting out the probationary period until I start planning going fulltime. My part time job (the one I do because I love it, certainly not for the pay rate) almost everyone in my department knows and I have at sometime been out with most to pubs clubs or bbqs etc as Cathii.
Of my friends not one person has rejected me, and of my family only my girlfriend, now ex girlfriend, and my youngest daughter have rejected me. My ex girlfriend and I are now very good friends (although we have our tiffs every now and then, nothing odd about that cause we always did) My daughter, at the age of 14 is probably too young to truely understand, hopefuly in time she will come around.
However my eldest daughter and I have never been so close since I came out to her. Infact she is probably one of my biggest supporters, but at 18 her maturity and ability to accept things that might be “socially embarassing” is far more developed. All of her friends know me as Cathii and even when they do occassionally see me boy mode they all still call me Cathii.
Everbodies circumstance is different, but ultimately being true to yourself is all that matters. Just be you, and people who truely love you will continue to love you.
Cathii
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Dear Clare,I, along with all the other girls have had to face the same scenario that you are now facing yourself and I know that it is not an easy thing to have to do,but believe me,it is much harder to deny your feelings about yourself and who you are without it affecting you in a way that can only end up causing far greater emotional turmoil and distress not only for you but for those around you as well. I tried for the first 40 odd years of my life to fit in with what my own family and society expected of me as a male,only to find that the longer I did the harder it became.since I came out to family and freinds,my marriage is no longer,as my wife has made it clear that she does not want to be with a woman,but fortunately we are still on speaking terms with each other and we are at least trying to be freinds so not all is lost in that respect.As far as my daughter is concerned,we are not speaking to each other as she is struggling to come to terms with my decision to live the way I do,and I can only hope that in time she will come to understand that it has been just as hard for me as it has been for her.I have been blessed in regards to the freinds that I have as they have shown nothing but compassion and understanding and accept me fully as the person they have always known.At my place of work(which I have only been at for a short period of time),they have only ever known me as cate,and the women there accept and treat me as one of the girls,and the fun and jokes we share with one another makes me look forward to going to work each day,such is the way that they are towrds me.As far as the rest of my family is concerned,there is a mixture of acceptance,tolerance,and lack of understanding towards me,and only time will tell as to how there opinions may change.So please dont think that you are on your own in the difficulties that you face,we have all been down the same road that you are now on and it will not always be a smooth ride but the road of life can be full of potholes for anybody,not just people like us,and all that we can do is to support one another as much as we can.Love,Cate
