Acceptance of T-girls in the lesbian Community

[Anonymous]

Ella, I have quite a few lesbian friends here in my town ( there were 10 or so lesbian couples here at one time!) and am accepted not so much as transgender but as one of their tribe, a member of the “queer” brigade.
They are all down to earth and practical women and I can talk cars with some, gardening with others and woodworking with another. The usual transgender subjects like makeup and nails never come up!!!!
This town is very accepting of we queers and it is down to the influence of the gay women who made a good impression, here in town , in the past.

[Anonymous]

Christina , Thanks for your input , I find imm accepted as one o the tribe,and yes they refer too me as a lipstick lol ..but its always Ella you got a nail file or pen in your handbag . Have been called a tranny while out with girls in general community and they really got upset ,taking person too task and very protective . Going out too womens only clubs and venues I find no angste from management and womens committies or patrons ,actually the opposite they seek me out and ask if ive had a good time and ask me too come again.
cheers Ella-Kristine

[Anonymous]

This is a question close to my heart. I have to admit I am still afraid and quite reluctant to enter womens (especially lesbian womens) spaces in case I get the radical feminist treatment, and this is despite living in a lesbian relationship with my partner.
I’m interested if anyone else has had positive experiences or even the opposite.
Gwen

[Anonymous]

I spend a lot of time with my Lesbian friends. I am a member of a few lesbian social groups and I do attend many of their gatherings and functions every week. I have also made good friends from joining these group of woman. I have also introduced a few friends from TR to my lesbian friends and we have always been made to feel welcome.

Gwendoline, there is a view that some lesbians are not accepting of T-girls. I can assure you that the unaccepting ones are in the minority, I have met many many Lesbian woman and I have always been treated well.

[Anonymous]

i think that anthea’s guess is probably correct (or maybe i run in the wrong social circles), and there seems to be a level of acceptance of trans people by lesbians. nevertheless, i have found that the level of understanding and knowledge about our existence, trials and tribulations is not high (similarly in the gay community) – surprise, surprise.

i have found that often, the “acceptance” is more a case of tolerance disguised or courtesy and acknowledgement that they do not know the full story. i think that if lesbians (and i am generlaising here) knew that many transgender people regard themselves as lesbian (i.e. not gay, or have a sexual orientation for cisgender men), then they may feel threatened, as it seems to me that some lesbian sexuality is derived from repulsion of male-ness, and trans folk, in their eyes, do not rise above that.

then i have encountered the more staunch feminist lesbians, who, on confronting any transgender folk will, before any engagement, inquire as to whether or not they are pre or post op, which tends to make me believe that only post op is acceptable.

so my take on this is that don’t automatically assume that you have acceptance within any lesbian circles, but we can live with optimism and hope that people will not judge us and accept us for what we are in a non-threatened manner (i guess that goes for anyone irrespective of the community they are from). if they reject us, it is either because our being is not worthy of any relationship no matter how cursory their understanding of the transgender condition, or they have rejected us on the basis of less than full knowledge about us and our condition.

i beleive that there is nothing we can do about the latter other than strive to educate and socialise to show that there is nothing to fear. we do not kill people and steal their under wear.

these are my personal experiences only. i am sure others have different views and experiences.

[Anonymous]

Virginia, you are right, one can’t generalize about the attitudes of lesbians any more than any other diverse group of people, there is as much prejudice in lesbian ranks as there is in our own . I remember a GG telling me once that a local lesbian woman accused her of treachery when she wore a dress to a party in town.
In my experience it is more about how one relates on a personal level , if one acts like an arsehole then one is treated accordingly by any people irregardless of one’s sexuality. Though I am aware that some of my lesbian friends have good reason to dislike men ( due to sexual assault as children) I do not find them to be “manhaters” in general but they are strong minded women and do not tolerate fools easily. As I mentioned earlier, any conversation on nails or buying frocks is avoided but these subjects tend to bore me as well so are not missed.

[Anonymous]

I never had issue or trouble with many lesbians I have meet, I think we just have to focus on one factor here, we are all human.

[Anonymous]

Hi All,my experience is much the same,though I’m not a member of any women’s only clubs,Iv’e never really experienced any problems from the lesbian community as such,there are a couple of them where I work,and we’ve become good friends,and have socialised together on many occasions.I’ve actually experienced more negative responses and attitudes from other TG girls and gay guys in regards to the lesbian community and only being attracted to women myself,something I havent been able to work out.