-
Another tg marrying successfully ?
Hi All
Heres a link to what I found a very interesting story – interesting from the point of view of how a girl can successfully transition and lead a happy life (until things go wrong !)Seems to me that both partners were very happy until the “truth “came out…
http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/breaking/15490402/man-discovers-wife-used-to-be-a-man/
Im not commenting at all on who did right and who did wrong .To me its just another indication of how many Tg people are out there living ordinary lives
Hugs
SUZZQuote:After 19 years of marriage, a Belgian man has just discovered his wife used to be a man.According to The Telegraph in London, the man says he’s feels like he’s been assaulted and wants his marriage annulled.
Jan married Indonesian-born Monica, his family’s former au pair in a previous marriage, in 1993.
But it was only recently he discovered that his wife had undergone a sex change, The Telegraph reports.
“I feel I’ve been assaulted,” he told the Het Nieuwsblad newspaper. “I brought her to Belgium. That was not easy. The Belgian courts had serious doubts about the authenticity of her birth and her identity papers, but eventually they accepted it anyway. I thought she was an attractive woman, all woman. She had no male traits.”
The 64-year-old said his wife had “fooled him” by pretending to menstruate and even using sanitary towels.
“Even during sex, I never noticed anything,” Jan said.
He said for many years they lived a normal family life but their relationship deteriorated when Monica, 48, started a full-time job.
“Monica began to change very much,” he said. “My oldest son saw her sometimes at a nightclub. She began to wear very flashy clothes, those ultra-short skirts or tiny tops, so her abdomen was completely exposed.”
The Telegraph reports that Jan found “amorous messages” from other men on his wife’s computer and he confronted her in a violent row that led to the police being called.
Monica finally revealed she was born a boy and that she had been operated on.
“She did not need to tell me about her past as a man. My world collapsed,” Jan said.
Jan is now undergoing psychiatric treatment. -
5 Replies
-
Interesting. So she went completely undetected as being trans for years but decided to come out to her husband after he finds that she is possibly being unfaithful to him????? She even went so far as to pretend to menstruate to cover up her past? And all this AFTER she get’s herself a job and some independance?
As usual, something is not quite right about this story. This is the sort of thing the media love to portray about “trans” issues.
Those of us out there in the community being honest about our past, living normal lives alongside cisgendered people don’t warrant anything newsworthy. No wonder we have to educate the people we relate to every day that we are no different – well, maybe a little different.
-
another article about the same story, mentioned that the woman’s family may had let it slip a few times as well over the years.
good reason to keep the family – perhaps the greatest threat to living in stealth mode – in check. especially when they may still inadvertently call you by your previous name. or refer to you in the incorrect pronoun or gender.
best way (in my opinion) to prevent this happening? out yourself to your potential partner before anything serious develops. give him or her the opportunity to ask questions, no holds barred. if necessary, explain / request / demand the need to be discreet.
and if it goes well and your partner does not bolt, then you do not have to worry ever about being accidentally outed to your partner, by anyone.
just my 2c. take care.
maya
-
I agree with Maya, there almost always seems to be something very fishy about this story; twisted to encourage the sale of more papers.
Honesty is the best policy, nothing to come back and bite you. -
My suspicion with this story is that the husband knew exactly what her past was. After all, it’s hard to believe that he wouldn’t have questioned her birth documentation if it was questioned by the immigration authorities.
I think that once the marriage went ‘belly-up’, for whatever reason, he decided to feign ignorance rather than face suggestions that he knew and that he therefore might be gay, or bi or somesuch other ‘tag’ he didn’t want.
I doubt the ‘real’ story will have much interest for the media.
-
Definately agree with the above posts.Some thing wrong with the press story.Too tabloid and ” News of the World.” Holland and Belgium are very liberal,secular and posess very liberated attitudes toward gender issues.I lived in Amsterdam in the mid Seventies as a young Traveller,19 years years old.I later returned to Belgium,Holland and Germany as a young British cold war soldier.On every visit,I was always aware of the open attitude to gender diversity.Just appears that the husband is looking for an out/entrapment/guilt clause.Given the length of the relationship ie:Au pair and later as partner.Lot of denial here.Jus’ my thoughts Girls.xNadesha
