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another young life is taken away
from the article:
Quote:Writing about her reasons for suicide she said: “I’m never going to find a man who loves me. I’m never going to be happy. Either I live the rest of my life as a lonely man who wishes he were a woman or I live my life as a lonelier woman who hates herself. There’s no winning. There’s no way out.”She ended the note: “My death needs to mean something. My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say “that’s f***ed up” and fix it. Fix society. Please.”
a young 16-year old with so much life ahead of her would rather end it after being denied that future by her own christian parents. sad that there is still so much ignorance in this day and age. i don’t want this to happen, not on my watch.
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16 Replies
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Ok if we ask ourselves why this your girl end her life I would say most of us have thought about it at some time including my self and the reasons are the same
What may have helped her is one thing a place to turn support from others family friends and us transgender people
Ar16 she would have been totally lost and alone I remember how I felt and I will never forget that hopeless feeling so sad she had to do that
Like I have always said it does not matter how old we are these feelings are with us so make friends trust other girls and chat and talk to each other no matter what anyone says if you don’t live it you don’t inder stand
So to all be safe
Salleyj -
My initial reaction is that of deep sadness. We still live in a society that does not accept our transgender brothers and sisters. Despite the fact that we are constantly being fed glowing reports of general acceptance, most people are probably against us. We are a minority, a weird minority that a few years ago would have been confined to a psychiatric hospital and dished out with electric shock treatment. I can remember 60 years ago feeling much the same as that young person who took her life. I tried at sixteen but failed, but it was a secret, a deep secret that I still carry around with on a daily basis. It was the first attempt, but not the last, there have been a few. There was no one to talk to, and again despite the internet, counselling, accepting shrinks, glowing transgender groups, publicity we still have suicides just because they are trans. Being trans is not the basic reason, the basic reason is “no one to listen’ The suicidal person feels absolutely isolated, totally alone without a soul to turn to; there is, for them only one way out.
You’re right I’m passionate about preventing suicide and aiding those who contemplate suicide. In my personal view suicide reflects the uncaring attitude of a society in which we live. This attitude commences with the family, the basic block of society. If the family rejects you what chance have you?
No, I don’t know the answer, I wished I did. I can only think of education which is difficult trying to educate folk who are dogmatic in the beliefs, and their basic tenants in life.
We in AGA, in Canberra do try and are constantly providing answers to enquiring minds, universities, TAFE, nursing schools, medical practitioners etc. It’s one of my leading reasons for being a member, apart from the social activities which show some of our society that we as a segment of society are not a threat to fabric of the greater society We are just ordinary folk trying to lead ordinary lives.
I feel so sad for the loss of such a young life, let’s hope her death was not in vain. -
What a sad story .,but all to often heard. These stories break my heart to no end .Iam 58 and if ive learnt one thing in life its to be aware of others situations be it gay or trans .Even my own parents who are late 80,s were suportive of MY life long feelings that i hold of being Trans . Shawly we can involve the schools into talking and handing out literature re being trans or gay or any other young peoples questions .Shaw the gay issue i believe is coverd pretty well . Our own daughter is gay and i know now how she hid it and struggled with the situation .Thank god she came through healthy and safe .Iam that upset to here of another story all be it in america That when I see my local member im going to ask him if there is a program in our schools for trans kids ,if not why not . By god it would have helped me ,. love to you all jacqui
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Yes this was a very sad story. If only people who are hurting could call for help in another way.
I first saw the story on http://www.femulate.org and right next to it was a story about a young ftm person who had just received an award for advancing human rights for TG people. What struck me was the difference in parental attitudes. In the bad outcome case the parents were not supportive and talked about the loss of their “son”. In the good outcome case the parents had announced in their Xmas letter to all friends and relatives that they now had a second son. -
It is very sad when this happens. Being TG is hard enough when people around you accept. Much harder when they don’t. I can’t begin to think of the pain that she must have experienced to do something like this.
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How to stop these kinds of incidents occurring?
There’s no easy answer, the main thing that comes to mind is the continued existence of all trans* people out there in the world doing our own thing and living our lives, the way we want to live them.
In cases like this I get frustrated and furious at the narrow-minded actions of the so-called parents. Many people treat their dogs better. Sadly it will take more time before people like that will simply not be able to act in such a way for fear of being outcasts and “weirdos” in everyday society. In the end we will be accepted by the broad mass of people, save for the cranks, the cults and the all-purpose haters. Even in the USA.
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While this is a U.S focused article Leelah’s message and plight is a global issue .
In this case it is a gross mis-use of religion to use it to treat a condition that is not understood by the parents or the church yet has been the subject of many worldwide scientific studies.
Denying professional help to any child in need should be considered a form of child abuse irrespective of religious or personal beliefs and irrespective of the child’s issue.
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Her plea to be accepted brought to mind an article about that very subject, ‘Acceptance’. I am told, via the press, about how the gay community is gaining acceptance. there is very little being reported about the trans community.
That article suggested it was because the Trans community is more confronting for the ‘ordinary’ community, or the non-trans, or the non whatever. But it is true that in our society a man in a dress is considered ‘wrong’, which is why they feature in movies as a comedic relief or as psycho killers. No disrespect to comedians or psycho killers.
I have heard friends and relatives discussing their contacts with gay friends, one was so proud that they were friends enough to be trusted when they ‘came out’. But mention ‘Trannies’. “Oh hell no, can’t stand ’em”. Even gay friends, and I do have them, don’t want to know. This always surprised me. Consider they are a group who until relatively recently could go to prison for their activity. A group of people who were persecuted for sexual orientation denigrating another group who are persecuted for gender orientation reasons. I guess it’s true ‘everyone is a socialist until they make a lot of money then they become capitalist’.
As has been said, there is no single answer, we have to keep plodding away until someone makes a break-through and society in general starts to recognise that we are just as human, just as vulnerable and non threatening as everyone else. -
ClaireStafford wrote:I am told, via the press, about how the gay community is gaining acceptance. there is very little being reported about the trans community.This story originates in the bible-bashing states of conservative USA and it is stretching the facts to assume that the circumstances that gave rise to this unfortunate and avoidable outcome are equally present everywhere. A specific story, may not speak so accurately when translated from one society to another, or to the entire world.
The fact remains that the lot of a transgender youth depends so much on where in the world they are born. There are “civilised” countries where one would fare much worse than the USA (Russia for instance), and ones where acceptance is more common (India for example).
It is also not universally true that gay acceptance precedes, and is easier for the public, than trans acceptance. The Quran specifically attributes to God diversity of gender, and as a result being transgender is accepted. But in those same Moslem countries being gay is punishable by death. (If you doubt this look to see how many sex reassignment operations are performed in Iran).
Where in this spectrum of acceptance round the globe does Australia fit in?
In the last few years I feel I have been bombarded by stories in the Australian media that talk to increased acceptance and understanding of transgenders. I certainly don’t feel there is little being reported on this issue here. And my experience of public reactions recently has been unexpectedly good.So could Leelah’s sad story have happened here in Australia????
My feeling is that it would be a lot less likely.
Firstly, the pockets of religious fundamentalism in Australia are more isolated.
Secondly, there is a lot greater awareness at a local level in schools, medical centers and even in government.I hope I’m not glossing over significant issues in reaching this conclusion.
Most of us experience the frustration, depression and psychological stress that comes with realising one is gender non-conforming. And our “common knowledge” is that suicide and trans-phobia are prevalent in the community. But when I seek examples of trans-phobia for IDAHO all the stories seem to come from other countries. And if suicide rates are indeed high, why don’t we see any reports in the Australian media like Leelah’s.
In the absence of data I just feel we might be underestimating how lucky we are living in Australia and letting the experience of other countries colour our expectations of life here.
I certainly don’t want to hear a story like Leelah’s reported about an Australian transgender child. I hope that we are just so far ahead of conservative USA in our attitudes.
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This is my first post but i think adrian sums it up well,i am a christian and believe the person is the main thing God created us all as individuals and loves us for who we are lets hope this does not happen hear in Australia
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Probably seems a bit odd but being gay does not automatically necessitate acceptance or even understanding of transgender issues. Sexuality and Gender as we well know are two different things. As much as we get tacked on to the end of LGBT our community and issues are significantly different.
I definitely think that being trans is far more confronting than homosexuality. First of all gay people are different to straight people but at least their sexual orientation isn’t flaunted in your face all the time. However gender diversity is far more in your face, it does make people uncomfortable because they are forced to evaluate their own ideas about gender.
As for this person it is indeed a tragedy. I still cannot believe that people would use Christianity to hurt people when its figurehead (Jesus) was all about acceptance and love regardless of who you were.
My only hope is that one day we’ll get it right and suicide will no longer appear like an attractive option dealing with any issues with their sexuality or their gender identity.
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The saddest thing about this topic is that on fb last night a negative post about this death was being shared by people around the world.As always ,there will always be the biggets trying to get a say in.This post was quickly removed
From Facebook ,once it was viewed by the management team.But evan this bad post has helped bring about awareness of the horrific suicide rate amongst the trans community of the world. -
I was deeply saddened when I first read the story of Leelah. As a practicing Christian I was abhorred at the treatment she received from her “Christian” family. Unfortunately this is not uncommon in much of what is commonly referred to as the Bible Belt in the US. Where the commandment “to love thy neighbour” given by Jesus has conveniently been overlooked in favour of Old Testament law by these Fundamentalists.
I agree with Adrian that most of Australia is not like those areas of the US especially in the larger diverse cities. Also the vast majority of Christians in this country worship a God who loves all his children and expects us to do the same. There are however still some parts of regional and rural Australia where transgender people are treated in a similar manner as Leelah. One can only hope that we can all learn from this tragedy and things will continue to change for the better across Australia and the rest of the world.
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I’ve been thinking very deeply over all the posts that have been presented, and all have valid points. What comes to mind as commonalities is anger and a sense of being vulnerable and helpless in the case of such suicides.
Suicide, unfortunately is a very complex issue and the reasons for attempting suicide and self harm are multiple. It’s not just a case of being trans. Rejection and abandonment are common and may come from parents, spouses, partners and even friends.Self harm is usually a cry for help, consciously or unconsciously, a plea to those who are hurting for support. Suicide is the ultimate method of ending the pain when no other options appear available. Suicide is a choice, a personal choice, not something imposed by others, otherwise it would be viewed as murder.
People seem to accept gay folk readily over trans folk primarily because trans folk are confronting especially a male who presents as a female in a dress and all the usual accouterments. And that is why folk, including, my precious wife find us bloody confronting. One can be gay and appear perfectly normal as the rest of ‘normal people’
It’s a tough and very difficult subject, that is why we have organisations such as Lifeline etc. Preventing someone from suicide is possible and extremely draining, I know. Yes, I to become bloody angry at religious nuts imposing their beliefs on others, yet they to are entitled to their beliefs and usually backed by law.
I sincerely hope such tragedies wouldn’t happen in Australia, but unfortunately I fear they do. We can only do our utmost in supporting each other in our corner of the world, being aware and there for others is the way to go.
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A deep topic and one that is still not addressed, as proven.
My thoughts are that people assume they undesratand people who have sex changes, and which is generally more a desire to conform to societies Male Female roles of acceptance.
But no one in society has stopped to really think about the underlying issues, especially in Aus where Male bashing has just about become a pasttime for many.
Like everyone knows people drink, and some people end up alcholics, and there are thousands of people in between. So if we put maleness in the same aspect then people generally expect males to be men, and then when they hear the story of someone having SRS then they assume they understand, whereas, and naturally, many thousands of males can embrace being feminine and dress etc in the same vein.
But especially in Aus, where female Libbers think a road crossing sign is sexist, and I know from experience that men are not supposed to even think of entering a females worls as they are Sickos. Yet these same females readily embrace the best of their and what was once our world.
If females stopped and did a reverse Liberation for males then maybe we would have that Uni Sex world that they often talk about.
ANyway I could go on for ever but I always encourage males to enjoy the best of both worlds, and which is what we can do, and I am mostly accepted in my relationships. And I move on otherwise.
Now is a great time to be an older male and I am the POWER as not many decent males around that will put up with females who want to power play. I enjoy being their soul mate and that is something tha males should aspire to and not think about SRS especially.
And we live in a society where males suicide at 8 to 1 yet sexist traffic signals gain more publicity.
Jennett
