ARE ALL TRANS PATHETIC OR IS IT JUST TGR MEMBERS?

[Adrian]

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I’m genuinely not here to pick a fight

I could generalise that most posts that start “I’m not trying to…” are in fact doing just what they claim to not be doing. So I have!

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but the evidence from being a member for 2 weeks is that next to no-one here does anything…or gives a f%$k…or cares enough to even have an opinion on anything other than whether you do your bra up ‘chicken wing’ style or swing it around.

First opinions are always interesting to hear, but they are just that. Often the initial exposure to a wider gender diverse community can be a challenge to ideas that have formed in isolation. You wouldn’t be the first person to be shocked to find that the community doesn’t live up to your preconceived expectations.

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For example:
My profile…challenges the trans goals of ‘acceptance’ and ‘being passable’ as as stupid

I wonder if you have looked through the forums to see how widely the concepts of ‘acceptance’ and ‘being passable’ have been discussed over the years. 2 weeks is barely time to skim over the surface of the content of the forums, so you may have not found it yet. Your challenges are not new challenges – and that may temper the response you get unless you bring new ideas.

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as well as being critical (in a nice way) about how the vast majority of us dress…not one comment!

How many of us have you seen dress? When you wrote “…our sense of fashion/style…sorry but it’s pretty tragic and does nothing to present us to society in a favourable light” how many of the TgR members were you basing your observations on? Are we obliged to comment when we read such inaccurate generalisations?

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My profile pics…well they’re out-there and intended to challenge how society makes off-target assumptions about gender…no comment!

I’m not sure how many people have read your profile in 2 weeks – let alone viewed your albums. Perhaps this thread is just an attempt to get greater visibility?

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My trans fashion brand…mentioned in the profile and a brand actually designing affordable, stylish, ‘off the rack’ fashions for trans is a big deal as no-one has ever done this before…no comment!

I’m aware of two others who have been engaged in similar endeavors. But as TgR is strictly non-commercial promoting such things is against the T&C.

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My blog…tho very positive about my short trans experience, it nonetheless challenges all those who think that ‘finally finding the courage to live as the woman they were meant to be’ actually matters to anyone but themselves…no comment!

Some of us have the experience of very long trans experiences. We become used to the diversity in the community. Frequently people may take offense to the views held by others so just making controversial (and possibly insulting) statements doesn’t generally lead to robust discussions.

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My posting…an open invitation to a trans fashion/social party each Sat arvo up till Xmas in central Sydney…90 plus views at last count, one taker and only one comment from that one taker…thank you David n Samantha.

Organising events is a difficult enterprise at the best of times – let alone if you are an unknown person with only 2 weeks in TgR. Most gender diverse people are very cautious – and wouldn’t head off to a private event organised by someone relatively unknown. Successful events have to be nurtured.

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And Adrian be upfront about what this site is about…I can’t find anything resembling a mission statement or ‘about us page’..

I can find one – but how much of the web sites have you read?
I just don’t think you have approached TgR with an open mind.
The shock and awe tactic is probably not the best introduction you could have made.

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Any comments…assuming this doesn’t get deleted by moderators which is expected…I’d like to think that some members here care enough about being trans to go further than attending a formal once a year dressed like the Queen mum (god rest her soul but her style sucked)…

You are correct in assuming that you have crossed the line at which moderation happens. But your idea that posts get deleted once again shows a lack of understanding how things happen here.

I think many members will find the above paragraph insulting not provocative. And will probably shy away from engaging with you. If you think such a natural response is pathetic then I disagree.

I’m not taking any moderator action otehr than voting on your post, because that would just re-enforce the strange ideas you have about the wider gender diverse community.

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I expect either deletion or silence…pls prove me wrong…Genni.

I think silence is the appropriate response to such an outburst. I advise you to rethink the way you engage with such a diverse group or maybe your time in TgR will be limited.

[Anonymous]

Amanda I love this site just as it is and you are right ignore the haters
Love and Support
Glenda

[Deleted User]

Excellent response from Amanda.

When I first saw this post in the Digest which only shows the first few sentences it already put tension in the back of my neck.

I have been on this site for nearly 2 years now not 2 weeks.

Of all the sites I am on this site is the one I use to “Ground myself” so to speak as I find this site to be more like an actual community and don’t have to sort through the undesirables. (Well until now)

For someone that has met people socially when dressed as Genni comes in with something like this it makes me wonder what circle of people did Genni meet with?

When I am on other sites I do tend to ignore this type of post / message as they are expected.
On this one though I could not let it go and want to say Amanda is doing a great job with this site and I would not know where I would be now if it was not for this site.

Regarding Genni’s “About Me” not agreeing with Genni’s views is correct.
I am one of them.

With 90 plus views and only 1 taker maybe it is not just me.
Genni’s fashion/style is definately not my cup of tea and I think really belongs on the other sites and even if I did live in Sydney would not go to one of the fashion/social parties so of course I would not respond to the invitation.

Still I do believe everyone is entitled to their own opinions and style and I just ignore them if they do not relate to me as I have enough stress in my life without adding to them.

I think I have said my 2 cents worth.

Keep up the good work Amanda.

Oh and to keep this post within the subject.
In response to the question of the thread.
No not all trans are pathetic.
Unfortunately there are those that tend to stereotype though and don’t realise that there is diversity within the community.

[Anonymous]

My sincere apologies to Adrian and all the TGR members…my post was inappropriate, out of line, insulting and quite stupid.

Frustration was a factor in writing the post but that’s no excuse…we all get frustrated and the solution isn’t ranting online.

Once again I apologise.

Genni

[Deleted User]

I must admit this is one of the more odd postings I have come across. I’m not sure why the person bothered. Talking about how their photos and style challenge is easy if no one can see them.
By nature and from self preservation most of us are very reluctant to be in the front line and show themselves unless it is in a safe area, by this I refer to support groups like Seahorse or organised outings in the pubs, (gay of course) cafe nights. I have, sort of, moved on a bit and managed a few outings in non T areas.
But I still take care.
Making a sweeping generalisation is usually a huge mistake, one leaves oneself wide open for others to pick holes in their argument, then again, maybe this is the point?

[Martina]

A very interesting post from a new member, sadly full of crass generalisations together with an unhealthy dash of cynicism. Nevertheless, I am glad that it was not moderated out of existence as we need to hear the views of the detractors so that they can be discussed and where necessary countered.

And thank you Adrian for the sensible and balanced response and permitting the post to continue. As Voltaire is reputed to have said: “I do not agree with what you have to say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it.”

Perhaps Genni might need to reflect just how diverse we really are as a group and that sometimes common ground is hard to identify. Lastly, I will say something on my own behalf: “Genni, I am proud to be transgender and am in no way pathetic and never will be.”

[Adrian]

Since this topic has burst back into life.. perhaps I could add a postlude – it has been 13 months since Genni logged into TgR. After the outburst last year Genni seems to have moved on. I guess TgR and the opinions of some of the members were not to her liking. At the end of the month Genni will automatically be purged from the website as being inactive.

[Anonymous]

It is an interesting display of lateral hostility . Certainty an opportunity to talk about that hostility is important.
At least it was generalized and not focus to well . It is probably the one of the most dangerous things people do to others . These types of key board attacks when focused on individuals who are vulnerable become the catalyst for suicide.
When a vulnerable person experiences this kind of peer aggression directly it is a confirmation that there really is no hope.
Unfortunately people people who feel oppressed and traumatised often unlock those feelings in a safe place then unload them on those around who will listen. It’s not the exclusive domain of our community but that makes it no better.
How do you prevent it is not an easy question to answer but it appears that it was contained on this occasion probably because the response wasn’t hostile.
If there were other respondents carrying the same hostile attitudes the outcome would have been markedly different. I am sure that wouldn’t be allowed here which is why the site works. I did witness it on the yahoo group ATSN . It destroyed all opportunity for rational discussion and drove all moderate voices out of the conversation and the site. .
When eventually someone took control it was to late the damage was done . I see it as one of the major conditions that has held back the progress of the community . It will most likely raise it’s head when the national consultation is undertaken for the national body that will be interesting for you can bet it will be a public display.

[Carol]

I must be a dreadful cynic. When this all started I ignored it as an expression of frustration by someone with a commercial strategy to pursue who was angry that potential customers failed to fall into line with the strategy. With that attitude no small business person can survive. None of us potential customers should give a hoot.