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Article: What’s So Bad About a Boy Who Wants to Wear a Dress
I have just read the following article which was published in “The New York Times” Magazine on 8 August. The article is fairly long and I believe too long to reprint here in it’s entirety, but it is well worth reading.
In my opinion it gives a fairly balanced view on current open minded understanding in the US of how gender diverse children should be treated.
One quote from the article which I found was most enlightened was:
“Many parents and clinicians now reject corrective therapy, making this the first generation to allow boys to openly play and dress (to varying degrees) in ways previously restricted to girls — to exist in what one psychologist called “that middle space” between traditional boyhood and traditional girlhood.”
Hopefully through articles like this, little by little the world is gaining a better understanding of what it means to be transgender and learning to treat all gender variant people with respect.
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6 Replies
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An interesting article indeed. Parents and people as a whole are struggling to understand gender in its full spectrum. And people who are struggling are, in my opinion themselves on a spectrum of understanding and acceptance. I cry for children who are trying their damn best to be themselves only to be shackled by well meaning experts in gender. The problem, as I see it is that no one for certainty knows the exact causes of gender variations. They (the experts) are trying to find the reason, but don’t really know, I wish they did know for sure.
I cannot help but equate the children’s predicament with my own experiences.
I am what I am. After a lifetime of guilt, shame, uncertainty, depression, suicidal thoughts and actions but underneath knowing just what I am (basically a woman) I just want to be me.Liz
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Now that was a wonderful article and I also looked at the pictures of them attending the camp getting ready for the fashion show and there is one picture of a father helping his son into his dress how absolutely touching to see it made me cry. I like lots of others feel just as they do and have often considered ending it all because I don’t match what society wants or rather expects from me. I just wish we had them camps when I was growing up so I too could have felt some freedom.
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Hi every one!
An excellent and insightful article that covers all the angles.It anylises the subject in some depth. The article covered what I believe, we have all experienced in some shape or form.It is very sensitive writing about a very sensitive subject.Attitude changes and tolerance have come a long way.My early child hood experiences took me down the path of fear and humiliation.How lucky and well adjusted these kids are.Some of my early experiences I will relate in my blog.Moving stuff.”If only.” a hint of nostalgia and regret! A liberal and tolerant attitude, such as the one portrayed in the article,makes one wonder how differently our life choices ,goals and destinations would have played out -
That was a great and very touching article.
I think it raises an interesting angle. I too was especially touched by the picture of the “father helping the son with his dress”.
Traveling the gender diverse path is usually very hard and rocky. It can be devestatingly difficult with huge costs and casualties along the way. Having a supportive environment from a young age would no doubt make the whole journey somewhat easier. However, watching some of the para-olympians recently I was reminded of how much sweeter the ‘end-point’ can be when the difficulties are big. We would all wish that aspects of life are easier sometimes but it is really dealing with the difficulties where the learning takes place.
Some gender diverse people will, and can end up with, far richer lives and personalities by having overcome the challenges.
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When does society get to the point of realizing the potential of an individual rather than categorization of the same? I think we can go a long way when we are all able to redefine what are the most important issues to address. I agree whole-heartedly that leaving children to identify with what they are most comfortable with (persona wise) will go a long way towards further acceptance of diversity within society. In fact, we should be viewed in the same vein as multi culturalism. We are, indeed different, but still the same, and have a great deal to contribute to modern society.
I long for the day that a Transgender person MTF or FTM has a greater voice in politics and can assist and inform on a larger stage than we are doing now.
Here’s hoping the generations to follow are able to do so and be acceptant. -
To my way of thinking, our categorization starts with the labels mental health professionals give us. They are simply reflecting, diagnosing and putting in writing the attitudes of society. We need society to be educated rather than us being diagnosed. The only role that mental health professionals should have in our treatment is to rule out any other possible causes for, ‘how and why’; we have come to perceive ourselves, (as in the case of delusional thinking in some expressions of schizophrenia). And even then, I find this unacceptable – even the mentally ill have the right to see themselves as male, female or other. If a person says they are male or female or some gender in between then society should just be accepting and get over it. Mental health professionals should only be called upon when there is a hurdle in transitioning which is causing a difficulty.Treating the depresion/ anxiety/ stress (the problem) caused by gender dysphoria could be done by a GP with the help of an endocrinologist, and if sought, a surgeon.
After all, what’s wrong with a medical diagnosis of depression/ anxiety/ stress RELATED TO gender dysphoria? Why make gender dysphoria/ gender identity disorder, the diagnosis (the problem)?
Recently I reviewed and did a refresher course in medical diagnoses / nursing diagnoses, and there is no reason to make the cause, (gender dysphoria), the problem, (the diagnosis), as they are doing now. Treat the cause (gender dysphoria) and the problem (depression, stress, anxiety) will to some extent, be resolved, particularly if society is adequately educated. (Have you ever seen an advertisement on TV from the government which educates the community on gender dysphoria as cause of distress/ depression. stress– I haven’t).
Unfortunately our medical people, and the rest of the world, blindly follow the Americans in the DSM on this.Categorization of our people will not stop until this issue is resolved.
