Assault of a Transgerder (CAIRNS)

[Anonymous]

my 10 cents worth … hey you can run and hide and avoid certain situations … but that’s just letting society grind us down … people should have freedom of movement for goodness sake! i carry a little beeper that emits about 100dB shreak (sometimes i wonder if it is actually louder than me!!!), but i sort of have that as a safety blanket. i feel that i can go to places that i would have a little bit more hesitation about, or go out on my own more often. oh, and avoid eye contact.

sure there are lots of dick heads about, and sydney is waaay different from what i would imagine cairns to be so i can’t really compare or give you any consolation.

but i think acceptance is become stronger, and the more we live our lives openly and freely, then the more people will see that we are not going to rape their sons and daughters, and that we are just a bunch of sweet little pussy cats with not much better to do than a little shoe shopping.

not much help, gurugirl, but just my 10 cents worth. i’m really sorry to hear about your plight, but the newspaper article was very positive though. you have struck a blow for the cause!!!

[Anonymous]

Samantha,

I know what it is like to be assualted. I encourage you from personal experience to access any counselling from QLD Victims Of Crime Support. In Victoria it is wonderful and I know it helped me a lot.

In the meantime you are in my thoughts and prayers – best wishes Jen

[Anonymous]

Very sad to read the assault but face it, there will always be some “real males” out there that think they know it all! We Girls just have to stick together and make sure when we organize outings that we stay together…safety in numbers! The wounds will heal but caution is the only answer.

[Anonymous]

It is indeed sad, actually it’s not, it’s disgusting. For any female, transgendered or not, to be unable to go out and just be assaulted like that is dispicable. Sadly it happens and girls have to be careful. I hope you’re all right and take the good advice about seeking counselling. **hugs**
Helen

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Very sad to read the assault but face it, there will always be some “real males” out there that think they know it all! We Girls just have to stick together and make sure when we organize outings that we stay together…safety in numbers! The wounds will heal but caution is the only answer.

[Anonymous]

Gurugirl, you have my heartfelt empathy for what happened to you. Hope you rapidly recover mentally and physically.

Sadly, it reminds us that we do have to be aware of our environment when we go out, particulary where alcohol is being consumed.

I would tend to avoid a place where there is a solitary group of noisy males drinking with no women (unless there Gay). Boisterous and young more so.

Agree with what Jane_5 said about places where undesirables tend to be.

Gay or Queer friendly pubs, clubs or events are the places I would consider to be one of the most accepting and definety one of the safest, without staying at home or a Seahorse function.

They are protective of their own, of which we are mostly considered to be part of their Community. I have yet to see any agro at an event, always been friendly towards us Girls.
They definetly know how to have fun.

As I do socialise within the GBLTG community maybe I’m biased.

Of course we all have a right to go where we choose but we need to be cautious. Its very Fem to be in touch with our feelings. So if a place doesn’t feel right it’s probably a good idea to leave.

Hugs, Enya

[Anonymous]

Dear Gurugirl.
I am just wondering if you know Norah up there in Cairns? She is the local trangender support officer up that way, I can definately put her in touch with you if you like. She is a wonderful transitioning woman who does so much for the communtiy up that way.
Violence in our community is at all time highs and it is time we banded together to let our voices be heard that no form of violence is tolerable.
Back in 1997 I was the victim of a very brutal and savage street attack which left me on life support for three months after which I was just too scared to go on with my transition.
Fighting back is not an option, I decided that this transition no-one was ever going to hit me again, once again I was attacked on the street of a well known perth suburb and when I fough back, I ended up in court for fracturing this guys skull 20 months later saw the end of an intensive assistance program run through the department of probation and parole and I have a record.
So what do we do? Unless we are prepared to vocalise the attrocities that occur in our community, unless we are prepared to face the challenges head on as a group, one voice, then there is nothing we can do.
I am more than willing to look at putting together the horror stories of our lives and getting them heard if you are prepared to write them. I will make sure that they are heard at the highest and lowest levels and at volumes that cannot be ignored
It doesn’t matter if you have been descriminated against, beaten, spat at, abused, whatever no matter how big or how small get the information down and send it to me. Unless we can show how much we are suffering and how much things need to be changed then nothing will be done. I am sure that almost every single person here has faced descrimination, violence or abuse in one form or another at some time in their transition or life. Let me know about it so we can get changes made. No matter how long or short your story, every single incident shows how much we suffer in our every day lives, of course people can remain annonymous and only ever myself will have full details of that information. Tell of your losses because you HAD to transition.
Revisiting these hard time might be hard, it might be hard to reach in there to think about things you might have forgotten, but you wont only be doing this for your community you’ll be doing it for yourself, you have to do it to help save the lives of thousands of men and women living with transsexualism every year.
It was only a few weeks ago that a close friend of mine Miriam Rivera, from the hit television show “There’s Something About Miriam” was taken to with a hammer in a particularlry nasty hate crime before being thrown out of a fourth story window. She is mending in hospital and as well as anyone can be expected to mend after such an horrific event.
This kind of violence cannot be tolerated, violence in any form, whether it be verbal abuse physical abuse or mental abuse is just that…. ABUSE. And we have to do what we can to stamp it out.
Warmest regards
Samantha-Lee
Manager
Australian Transsexual Network

[Anonymous]

Hi girls, I’m sorry that I havent made any posts for a while,personal commitments etc, have kept me busy.This topic is one that does need to be taken very seriously as the way that we are treated can be nthing short of disgusting,to say the least,and I for one,have developed a new found respect for the gg’s out there that have to put up with the same sort of behaviour from a greater portion of the male population.this is one of the reasons that I will only ever consider having a gg as a partner,as most of, if not all of the men that I know,both at work and those that I meet in general,see women as nothing more than sex objects and someone to order around pick up after them,and generally be their slaves.Women, on the other hand,seem to have a far greater respect for their partners,thats not to say that there is not those that can be as bad as men in some respects,but they seem to in the minority.as far as those men that seem to take delight in beating,harassing and generally making life hell for those that they think deserve it,I can only say that I hope one day it will all come back to them so that they might know what it feels like to be treated in such a manner.[yes, I beleive in karma]In the meantime,I too have learned to follow my gut instinct in regards to places that I might go to,and so far,have been fortunate in that I have not had any real problems to speak of other than the usual stares and whispered commentsfrom some people.It does sicken me though,that men seem to have the attitude it is their right to vilify,degrade,harass whoever they want to,and it is also the reason that I now have very few male freinds,but those that I do know are very understanding and treat me well.I,ve said it before,but we need to keep on with getting out and about in general and presenting our best possible side to society,so that they can see that we are not a bunch of weirdo’s or freaks,and that they have nothing to fear from us,as I think that fear and lack of understanding is one of the biggest problems in as much that down through history,anything that people did not understand has usually attracted ridicule,discrimination,etc.Just take a look at the way that people with mental illness used to be treated,but now that doctors have greater knowledge of of it,they are not so badly treatd as they once were.therefore,I think that the most important thing for us to do is educate society about ourselves so that they can see that we are not something to be feared,and that we have the right to be treated the same as everyone else,and not have to live in fear of discrimination and ridicule all our lives.

[Anonymous]

❗ Hmmmmm rather interesting post Cate-Louise, I hope that you don’t mind me making a few comments and observations?

➡ The last thing that I want to do is to hurt anyone’s feelings or make them upset or angry but there are a few things that I believe should be pointed out that are remiss in your post.

➡ I am assuming that over the years you have had an incredibly hard time of things Cate, especially when it comes to violence, but aren’t you in your current attitude perpetuating that cycle of violence, whether it be physical, verbal or emotional? By sterotyping men into a catagory of violent are you not guilty yourself of causing verbal and emotional abuse towards men? Are you not guilty of flaming men in your post?

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as the way that we are treated can be nothing short of disgusting, to say the least

: Have you ever heard of the law of attraction? The law of attraction can be used to highlight the fact that we ourselves attract what we put out there, and if you are a believer of Karma as you say, then you know this is of course the same thing (And with myself being Buddhist if you would ever like to talk about karma then please let me know).

➡ I do agree with you without any word of doubt that our community is treated extremelly poorly, violently and with disgust, but arent other minorities also? I know that being apart of the mental health system, I find myself to be treated just as poorly for having something wrong with my mental health, and there ARE other minorities that can be used to make my point.

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and I for one,have developed a new found respect for the gg’s out there that have to put up with the same sort of behaviour from a greater portion of the male population.

❗ Whether you know it or not, whether you admit it or not, there is just as much violence by way of emotional abuse, physical abuse and verbal abuse, caused by many GG’s out there as there are men, by continuing to concentrate on simply the men you continue to perpetuate the sterotype that continues to prevail.

💡 Isn’t having an open mind and heart when you meet people the most important thing to keep in mind? You seem to have forgotten that people are not the same, people have differing views, ideas, thoughts and lives and emotions so that we might distinguish between those of bad character and those of ‘better’ character. Isn’t giving someone a chance or opportunity the right of just being human, for how one might treat you others may not.

➡ My history is an open book online if you are prepared to look into it, and it illistrates perfectly what I am saying here, my past is a classic example of how FEMALE “trannyhawks” can be as destructive as male trannyhawks

➡ “TANNYHAWK” definaition = someone who preys on the insecurities and lives of transsexual people.

➡ I almost ended up dead on two occassions that a woman used and abused me for her own gain, and after spending weeks in care centres on suicide watch. Sure I have my own problems to go hand in hand with that, but I can also recognise that she was only one person, there may have been other abusive partners but again, they are there own people and for everyone abusive person that may come into your life there are dozens of others who are more than willing to become friends with you.

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as most of, if not all of the men that I know,both at work and those that I meet in general,see women as nothing more than sex objects and someone to order around pick up after them,and generally be their slaves

❗ It sounds to me like you really need to gain some new friends, both male and female, try opening your spectrum of contact to include people you may have never otherwise thought of…..it is truly amazing how often people can surprise you.

➡ Might you be guilty of law of attraction in this matter? Have in the past you allowed this to happen to yourself and in doing so had your attitudes and beliefs changed through your own actions? Most of the people I know treat me with down right respect and love. Yes I have some pretty sever mental health issues, amongst other issues but I do not let that get in the way of letting people know exactly how I feel, I don’t let it get in the way of treating people with the same respect that I demand…….and that might just be the difference, I demand respect…. you expect respect!

➡ Expect NOTHING from anyone in your life except yourself, that way you can never be disappointed, never expect anything from the people you are stereotyping and maybe they might not turn out to be as bad as you may think.

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as far as those men that seem to take delight in beating,harassing and generally making life hell for those that they think deserve it,I can only say that I hope one day it will all come back to them so that they might know what it feels like to be treated in such a manner

❗ Once again you are reaffirming that your distate for violent men almost rules your sole thought, are you not once again guilty of the law of attraction? your distate for these people is attracting them to you, As for hoping that one day it will all come back to them, whether it be via karma or some other way you are again perpetuating that violent cycle. Karma is not as simple as wishing that vengance will be reigned down upon someone who offends you, Karma is about belief, about balance and about learning to name just a few things. So again wishing that Karma will bite them in the arse so to speak is once again perpetuating that cycle.

💡 If you have such a negative attitude why not try wishing that they will become more educated, that they might learn, that they can try to understand rather than sending that negativity out there, remember you get back three fold what you send out into the universe.

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It does sicken me though,that men seem to have the attitude it is their right to vilify,degrade,harass whoever they want to,and it is also the reason that I now have very few male freinds

➡ Most of the men I know certainly don’t have this attitude, as a matter of fact almost every single person that I know in my life certainly does not believe that it is their right to vilify, degrade or harass. Contrary they belive in a non violent life and that is what they hope to achieve. I don’t honestly think people believe that it is their right to be so abusive, I believe that people of this nature have been miseducated in their lives and don’t KNOW any better. Then there are people who have mental health issues and just don’t know any better, plus there are loads more minorities that I can use as examples. People learn coping mechanisms as they grow and it is these coping mechanisms that need to be addressed so that these sometimes violent and ugly people can fit back into society again with much more ease.

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getting out and about in general and presenting our best possible side to society,so that they can see that we are not a bunch of weirdo’s or freaks,and that they have nothing to fear from us,as I think that fear and lack of understanding is one of the biggest problems

➡ Finally you have hit the nail on the head, not just for society in general but also within our own community. Fear of anything will again be sent out into the world and you will once again attract what you do not want. Miseducation is a massive issue with both communities also, I have seen all too often people from the transgendered community be abusive and threatening to those who might stare or say something, and in this respect we become as guilty as every other violent or abusive person out there. Instead just give them a smile or a hello, if they become abusive just walk away, by walking away you show how much more of an intellect and maturity that you have, you are not “put on show” in public and therefor will feel better not only about yourself but also with society as a whole.

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Just take a look at the way that people with mental illness used to be treated

❗ USED TO BE TREATED???? We still are treated the same ways, all too often falling victim in the very places that are designed to keep us safe. I suffer from the very debilitating Borderline Personality Disorder which sees excessively strong symptoms of anger, withdrawal, personal reltionship problems, severe mood swings, and yet having only begun treatment in the last few weeks I have lived in denial with tis disorder for my entire life, and I know that if I can adjust to people then anyne can.

➡ In 1997 after two years on hormones I was taken to on Oxford street Sydney by two very transphobic men weilding iron bars and steel capped saftey boots. They beat me sooo badly that I spent 3 months on life support, a further two months in intensive care, and then I had to learn to walk, talk, eat, read and basically do everything again, they left me with some chronic brain damage and dozens of broken bones. BGut I do not hold this against the people responsible, as a matter of fact I even forgave them in my own way, because not to forgive them leaves me living in hate, denial, fear and a lot of other fantastic adjectives that could be used to descibe myself. Forgiveness is needed in everyones life for them to grow within themselves.

➡ I have indeed been the victim of some very cruel violence and toture over the years, but do you wanna know something?

❗ I still walk out of my home every single day, with my head held high, with my confidence flowing, and a complete belief in myself. I fear no-one (except myself) and I do not let anyone stop me from doing what I have to do. I continue with life, choosing to believe in people and humanity, choosing to live instead of dwelling in a pool of condemnation.

Many regards everyone
Samantha-Lee
Manager
Australian Transsexual Network

[Anonymous]

dear samantha-lee, forgive me if I have offended you Or anybody elese with my views or comments in my last post, as that has never been nor will it ever be my intention,and if I have upset anyone,yourself included,I apologise to you all.my comments were made as an observation on how minority groups are often treated in general,not just how we,as just one of many of those groups,and I agree totally with you that all minority groups often cop the rough end of the stick from society on a more than regular basis.I also have been the victim of emotional and physical abuse from my now ex partner,and since seperating from her i’ve begun torealise that women can also be just as bad as men in that respect,but I think that you would have to admit they would be a far smaller percentage than the opposite sex.Also,if there are any men out there that read this,please dont think that I’m attacking every male out there,as that was not my intention,as I do know some quite lovely guys within my circle of freinds,who are very caring and accepting people.I’ve been very fortunate as far as the way I’ve been treated by people when out and about in public,but I’ve always been careful to treat others the way i’d like them to treat me,and so far this method has not failed me,and I hope it never does.I suppose that I may have been a little harsh in my comments regarding men,but I do wish that they could be a little more understanding of any member of society that is “different”.Unfortunately,Ive encountered a lot of guys in my everyday life that do seem to perpetuate the steryotype that i was talking about,and have often wondered if given different circumstances,ie there was noone else around,would the outcome be different than that which actually happened.so I hope that i have clarified the situation for you or any one else that reads this,and again,my apologies to anyone who i may have upset with my comments.

[Anonymous]

While I do agree with Samantha about stereotyping men and putting women on some type of pedestal, I believe it true that MOST violent attacks are perpetrated by men, men seem most likely to be abusive and men are more likely to feel confused and threatened by a man in a frock and act inappropriately than women, in my experience. I too feel more comfortable talking to women about personal things, they seem less likely to judge me on very “blunt” standards such as ” you MUST be wearing makeup to attract men” , women seem to be more sophisticated in their judgements and this makes them more enjoyable as companions.
I do have lots of male friends too but , with few notable exceptions, I need to be a lot more sensitive to their egos than when I am with my GG friends. Lots of GG’s tell me that they have to do the same!!

[Anonymous]

Hiya Cate Louise.

Sweetheart you certainly didnt offend me. I guess that I was just a little upset at seeing the same sort of unjust vocalisation that we ourselve are often victim to. I guess that I was just trying to illistrate this as best I could.
Sweetheart the men and women that you speak of whom ARE guilty of degradaton etc are the very same people that I have been focusing on with my re-education system and I can let you know that although there may be a few whom are in the “Just too hard” basket the majority of them really are open to hearing about some of the complexities that we face and in the end come around to accepting us with more clarification and understanding.
I am one of those people that put myself into the firing line of these people on a constant basis, simply because I KNOW that I have the ability to teach, to talk and to treat them as nothing but equals. and nine times out of ten I do achieve what I set out to do.
I remember once while living in Sydney, I was invited to go to the pub with some close friends (who were all as rednecked as the people you spoke about until they met me) well they took me to a pub in of all places Campbelltown. I’d been on hormones by this time for about 12 months and from the moment that I walked into the pub there was trouble.
These guys (about 8 of them) just wanted to kick the living crap out of me, so I walked over to them and said

“OK Thats enough of this shit! Its my shout, and it’s my turn to speak”

within half an hour I had these guys eating out of my hand – all of them – and by the time we left the pub, 4 of the guys left with us just to make sure we got to the train station safely.
So you see, with a bit of confidence, a good ability to talk and coming from an equal footing I was able to change their attitudes completely. Most of what we go through is because people just have the wrong information about us, and when they finally do meet someone who backs her bluff and speaks to them the way they know they tend to calm down a lot. Nine time out of ten my first words to them are “Don’t worry I certainly don’t wanna end up in your pants”. Most laugh, some ask questions and some just remain quiet.

More often that not the way that people react to you are reflections of your own emotions or thoughts. if you feel intimidated then they are certainly going to use it to their advantage and in every single animal on the face of the planet this is normal behaviour.

Once again sweetheart, there is certainly no reason to apologise, we are all just trying to write what we feel and maybe how we see things and by meeting others with differing views we are opening up our lives more and more.

Hugs always
Samantha

[Anonymous]

Hi there Christina,

Its lovely to have the chance to have a chat. But if I may……

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I believe it true that MOST violent attacks are perpetrated by men, men seem most likely to be abusive and men are more likely to feel confused and threatened by a man in a frock

On the contrary Christina, Most attacks by women, either verbal, physical or emotional are never heard about because most victims are loathe to come out and say that they were beaten up by a woman. The other fact of the matter is that most attacks by women are not as newsworthy as those perpetrated by men. In society today men are seen as the most problematic which is why they make the newspapers so often. Can you imagine a man (whether a GM or a CD) coming out to the papers to say they were the victim of a violent crime perpetrated by a woman?? Not only would they be ridiculed for a very long time to come but they would never be taken seriously again.
There are an exceptional number of women out there who tend to view people of transsexual background and those of a cross dressing background as freaks, never to be accepted as the gender that we need to be, never to be given the chance to flower into the people that we are. Living fulltime as a woman of transsexual background you tend to see this more than those people of a CD’ing background. I have been spat at by women, hit, had some of the most derogatory things said and the list goes on.
Sure, men are SEEN as the main perpetrators but believe it or not there are just as many violent women out there as there are men. By saying that either gender is more prone to violence than another is ludicrous as both genders are as equal in their violent behaviours. The press has a lot to do with this attitude, choosing which stories to run and which ones not to, and by conintuing to highlight the misgivings of men, most people forget that women can be just as guilty.

Hugs always
Samantha

[Anonymous]

.I don’t agree with this idea at all. I can’t recall anyone of my aquaintance ever having been assualted , sexually abused, threatened with violence or otherwise seriously threatened in public by a woman in anywhere near the proportions that they have experienced from men. I believe that the statistics for this inbalance would bear me out. True, women kill and beat their kids more than men do, they are with them more often than men are, but I have never personally been physically threatened ,in public by a woman and often by men.
This however is getting off the point of this thread, which I believe is about the ability of folk to attend a venue without risking harm.
I taught women and men self defence in the past and one of the things we pushed was to aware of the “vibes” in any environment and to act according to your instincts and not your ego. You are correct Samantha , in saying that we can bring trouble upon ourselves by our attitudes to others, we must assess the risk and act in self defence and if that means spoiling a night out and leaving then so be it.
Often people have said to me “why should I have to leave, I’m not causing the trouble” but it is our own responsibility to care for our own safety. It is no use lying in a hospital bed and claiming our RIGHT to do as we wish, the real world is not like that.
It is deplorable that Gurugirl or yourself is assualted in public areas but it is a reality everyone faces, thugs don’t need an excuse to hurt people but if we venture out then it is a factor that we have to face, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

Hi Christina,

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I can’t recall anyone of my aquaintance ever having been assualted , sexually abused, threatened with violence or otherwise seriously threatened in public by a woman

❗ My sicerest apologies, my mistake, I did not realise that we were specifically talking about violence in public alone.

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to be aware of the “vibes” in any environment and to act according to your instincts and not your ego

❗ This is more true than most people think. Following your gut instinct can save your life, if some sense of safety within you says get the hell out of somewhere then do, calmly, without showing your upset or afraid and certainly without your ego getting in the way.
Become street aware, learn to defend yourselves, know your area and people in it, know where you are going and dont dilly dally, but always walk with confidence and belief in yourself.

❗ Alot of people don’t know this but psychologicaly speaking people can also learn to see themselves as a victim and as such begin living the life of a victim……(putting themselves into dangerous situations, believing that they deserve it on a subconscous level) and in turn can once again attract victimisation and violence. I used to be guilty of this myself, and again we come back to coping mechanisms. People need to learn new coping mechanisms, and the only ways to do this is with help.

❗ I am a HUGE believer in “Emotional Management” Courses. I finished an 8 day intensive emotional management course in November of 2006, I was made to attend the course, personally I couldnt see why I needed this kind of course and by the time I walk away 8 days later I was a changed woman.
Not only did I come out of that course with a down right solid belief that everyone on earth should do this course, but my entire belief system and coping mechanisms had all changed. And I know that all 8 of us invloved, 10 including the two facilitators, all came away from that course saying that their lives had changed. Im still in touch with a lot of them and we all still say how much our lives have changed.
➡ One woman got the courage to walk away from a 20 year abusive marraige, she walked into the course the most timid, afraid, withdrawn and completely victimised woman I had ever seen, she truly was a shell of a woman. 10 days after she walked into that course, this woman had the courage to walk out of that down right violent and potential killer of a relationship that had her so scared she was too afraid to smile for fear of her life. And this is only one example of the potential that these courses can have in peoples lives.

Before that course I truly could not see the benefit of this kind of course in my own life, but all I can say is that I will never be thankful enough for having done that course, I grew well and beyond anything I believed of myself, there is nothing in my life that hasn’t changed from this course and knowing that I grew within myself so much.

but I digress

Yes there is a lot of violence and we do need to do something about it, but we need to do something about it as one entity, one voice, we need to show a united front, people need to be willing to get involved, and that’s where people like me get so frustrated because try as we may we can’t get people to come forward, to put there hand up and say hey, how can I help, what can I do? Instead people are thinking well I don’t know enough to do anything.

😉 You live the life! Whether it be for 5 minutes or 5 decades you live the life, and you have something to add, everyone’s voice is important and it needs to be heard, let shout out together instead of crying out alone. Get your story of disrcrimination violence, harrassment, ostracism, or vilification down on paper (Ok its called microsoft word now days) and get them to me. I am trying to compile a file full of stories from people all over australia where they have been treated badly, where they have been discriminated against, how they live in fear, whatever, get it to me so I can add it to the file I am gathering.

You can stay anaymous if you like. If requested abosolutely no personal information will ever get past myself, As the founding member and current manager of the ATN I know how much personal discretion can mean to some people.

Regards
Samantha-Lee
ATN