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Awkward moments
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Once whilst queening at home, I was in the bathroom brushing and styling my hair, ..in full makeup (vintage undergarments and ’50s era fabulous flowy shirtdress with crinoline), with the blow dryer running full tilt, I had a rather nasty moment when unexpectedly one of my daughter’s friends came to the front door to collect her laptop. With my heart pounding I crept stealthily around the house, ignoring the house phone and my mobile that were ringing franticly (should have switched it to silent), floorboards creaking and dog barking, to see if she would give up and leave.
To my great relief she eventually left in her car, after calling out, knocking loudly and peering through every available window. I sat for about 10 minutes to compose myself, then busily got back to my hair…
20 minutes later the girl reappeared, this time with my relative from around the corner in tow, who also had a key to my back door. They promptly started to jump my side fence…OMG !! Panic Stations !! I ripped off my dress; buttons too slow, pulled most of them off hurriedly as they flew around the bedroom. Kicked my longlines and forms under the bed and stuggled with stockings and girdles, tripping my self up in my hasty retreat to the ensuite, where I gashed my head on the corner of the door. A quick mental roundup in my head if I had left anything exposed in the bedroom, jumped into the shower where I franticly scrubbed at my makeup.
Darn shower too cold; pilot light gone out with the wind, Oh well, …Looks like a cold shower, might do me good. By this time (all in the space of 5 minutes), my relative and her friend were knocking on the bathroom door. “Are you allright??” “We thought you might have had a heart attack, – that’s why we broke in, ..I just wanted my lappie back !!”
(Gimme a break, – the only heart attack I will ever have will be a result of being sprung by relatives !!)
“Ok, ..I’m alright, just doing the shower bit, ..be out in a minute.” – “Get your lappie and I will see you in a min.”
So after a half hour in the shower, where my jangled nerves had calmed, I gently made my way to the lounge, relieved that the kids had given up waiting and had gone. Next thing to do was to survey the damage to my vintage dress, and retrieve all those darn buttons !!
My face was a mess, without having warm water to wash the gunk off properly, and just as well they had gone; one look at me and they would have run a mile anyway !!All ended reasonbly well, considering. Nothing was ever said about this incident and it has given me an insight into what can go wrong when you least expect it, and to make sure that these situations never arise.
…Also I too, have a funny story to include in the ‘When S**T Happens’ department!!Jannine.
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Try this one.
Walking en femme in a park one evening and I hear this young boy behind me.
“Dad, you know you want a new mother for me? What about this lady?” (then a good smack on my bum) [never turned around]
” I think you have made her more expensive for me” say DAD
[turns out the boy was around 5 yrs old]
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One night, my then wife went to a flower arranging class and she told me that she’d be home around about 9.30. At this particular time I had restarted dressing after a long lay off so thought that all my birthdays had come at once. She went out and I dressed, got made up and started a good night as Helen. Time went on and at about 8.30 I was just thinking that it was time to change when the dog barked. I looked up and her car was coming up the driveway! Instant panic… Off with wig, shoes, skirt, top. Bra panties and a very quick rush to the bathroom… I only got away with it because she stopped outside for a cigarette…. My clothes were semi hidden in a plastic bag under our bed. Luckily I was up for work early and quietly packed everything away. It’s amazing how quickly you can undress when you need to.. Plus I miss my old friend Jack the Golden Retriever
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Great stories ladies and thank you for sharing them.
I recall another moment not too long ago when I was getting ready to go out for lunch to meet some friends. I’m not fully out yet but my family know about me so I often used my sisters place to get ready as she has moved interstate and the house is vacant.I was getting ready on this particular occasion when I heard a car door slam out front and out pops my sisters father in law! I had a moment of panic and then realised he was there to spray the weeds that were building up and wasnt going to come inside (i hoped). A frantic call a few minutes later to my sister confirms her partner knew his father was coming around but neglected to tell either of us!
Needless to say I spent the next hour impatiently waiting for him to finish and leave. I was running extremely late by now and running out of patience. I wasn’t so much concerned about him seeing me dressed but could have done without the grief and energy required trying to explain my situation to him.
I was thoroughly trapped as he had parked behind me and must have assumed I was inside sleeping between my night shifts. As that is the story we had told them prior in case of this eventuation so at least I was fairly certain he wouldn’t come inside.
Patience wearing even thinner I finally decided that things were verging on the point of ridiculousness and decided to walk out there and simply say hi and ask him to move the car. I would then let my sister explain afterwards. Luckily at that moment he started to pack away his stuff and drove off.
I peaked out the window grabbed my stuff and was out of there. -
Hi girl’s. I had an awkward moment I think is worth a mention.
I was dressed and wanted to get out of the house.
Normally I have my support person with me (my wife) but she was not with me (wont go into reason).
So I went nice and late at night and was enjoying a drive in the city. I drove into what is our red light district “ISO” for those who know Newcastle,(we often drove through there to look at the Trannys and hookers).
So I’ve gone around a few times and decided I’d stop and get out and have a little wander around, close to my car.
So I turned off the main street and did not notice a police car was right behind me ( I had the rear view mirror turned toward me so I could admire how lovely my eyes looked everytime the passing street light caught them).
I am blonde you know.
So before I even got the chance to get out, the dreaded blue flashing lights dashed around inside my car. “Uhh Ohhh” I thought.
Straight away you start to think, he’s going to make me get out and put my hands up on the roof of the car, legs spead eagle and get padded down.Rip my wig off and take a mug shot.
Or he’s going to call his mates on the radio and tell them “quick ,rush down and get a load of this wierdo”
So I was very apprehensive as he walked up to the side window.
Sheepishly I said “hi”
I dont remember all I had on but I do remember my skirt was very short and he would have got more than a eyeful of stocking top’s and bare thigh (lucky my legs were waxed)
He was just a young cop as well (so I thought he could embaress me). He asked if I had had anything to drink today and to see my licence.
He then asked (to my surprise) “how often do I dress up like that”
I said ohh once a fortnight or so. (lier lier pant’s on fire)
I was starting to think he was quite polite and non’chelaunte about it all.
He checked my licence and just said “drive careful and have a good night”
I was so taken aback and impressed by his politeness and courtesy that I was going to call him back (before he got to his car) and thank him for not humiliating me.
It was actually quite a pleasant experience as it gave me a bit more respect for the police and society in general.
I look back at it now and have a laugh. I would still like to thank that young cop. I think we have all met people who could take a lesson from him.
XX Aleesha -
While you were in Iso you should have stopped in for quiet one at The Gateway Hotel there. The same young copper may well have been there later and bought you something long and cool.
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Hi Aleesha,
Having had a similar experience to yours in Perth many moons ago, perhaps your “nice young copper” had an “ancestor” in Perth’s police force. Great grandfather perhaps….?? Nah… I cant be THAT old
Overall, unless we strike somone who’s having a “bad night shift”,or we ‘ve done something bad, our community on the whole are harmless, so I contend most police officers would just do a license check and breath test and then send us on our way. All the more reason not to “drink and drag”.
Caty
