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Being a Tall Gurl
Hi all,
I’m a tall gurl (194 cm – 6’4″ on a short day
) and I’ve never been out on the town. As a guy, being 6’4″ is just awesome. You get all sorts of advantages – things like sex appeal, getting noticed more at work and at parties, instant (unfounded) tough guy points, and a strange kind of respect that is hard to quantify.As a gurl things are not so good. I’ve written down some thoughts to let you know how it feels to be tall…
Here goes:
I’ve been dressing up since I was 4 (30 years). At 4 I stole a pair of my mum’s tights and put them on and was hooked. Right up until 11 I dressed up regularly – preferring to play the part of a gurl in games with friends. I can remember in year 4 the first time I encountered discrimination – I went to a “friend’s” place and asked him if he wanted to dress up… His response was less than encouraging. In year 5 I “went out” for the first time, I went to school wearing tights (my excuse was that it was a Medieval theme day). Surprise surprise I was the only one wearing girl’s clothes
. The ridicule was extreme that day.Between 12 and 14 I grew a foot. At 14 I was already 6’4″ and realized that I would never pass so I tried to give it up but could not stop thinking about it.
At 16 my father came out of the closet – he left my mother and moved in with a man. It turns out he was almost exclusively gay and our family had been his failed attempt at being “normal”.
Not long after this I told him I was still a CD. He turned up his nose at me and said I was too tall, would look ridiculous, and that I should just give up. He was patronizing and downright offensive. Later I confided in his best friend that I was a CD and his friend just laughed at me and essentially said the same thing. It was as if their gayness was “valid” and worthy of respect but my cross dressing was something that made me less of a person. So much for help from the gay community.
But it gets worse. One would think that gurl community would be more accepting? Not what I have found. I have been to the Taxi Club numerous times (In boy mode). I am quite popular with gurls when I am there and have been home with some of them. Whenever I have been with a short gurl I’ve made a point to ask her what she would think if I dressed up.
What do I get? Most of the time #$&%# laughed at! As if I am just too masculine and the door to dressing should be closed for me.One gurl at the Taxi Club, i kid you not – said that tall gurlz should not go out. “If they don’t look real they should stay at home”. Needless to say she got nothin’ that night.
Could it get worse than this for a tall gurl?
Yes…
I have been to hell…
The seventh layer, you know the REALLY bad one.
Hell for a tall gurl is Bangkok. I just moved back from there recently after living there for a year.
The gurls there put all others I have seen to shame. Not only this they are catty, vain, and they don’t hold back with the insults. In my entire time there I did not see a gurl as tall or as masculine as me (and there are LOTS of gurls there). It was devastating – I did not dress once, could not even bring myself to think about it. The Thais have a term for gurls like me – it is “Buffalo girl”.
Is it all bad?
No
In film, photos, and stage performances the tall gurl can shine. Given a decent amount of body remodeling (I have lost 20 kg since I was 21) the tall gurl can look absolutely stunning. Just look at Rupaul, the taller the better.
This is great but it is not real. The day to day reality goes something like this: I get on the train in the morning, barely able to fit in the carriage – I look around to see if I am the tallest person (man or woman) on the train, which I usually am. After this I think to myself I’d love to go out tonight, be treated like a girl, and be feminine in public. But I’m 6 foot 9 in heels.
Love,
Hexa -
13 Replies
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Hi Hexa,
You certainly are a tall Gurl! I’m short in comparison to you at 6ft 2 in heels…depending what heels I’m wearing. (5’11 bare feet). Lots of GG’s out there that are tall….make great models and just have the wow factor. Don’t be so hard on yourself…..lots of us CD’s also are tall and who says what’s the right height to be anyway?All I can say, is keep on dressing and enjoy every moment of your femme side.
Cheers,
Cynthia xx
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Thanks Cyn,
6’9″ with 5 inch heels
I was at a party last night (in boy mode) and got talking to a gorgeous little 5 foot tall GG. The typical “mating game” stuff was happening. She was complimenting me on how tall and strong I looked. To which I would reply with things like:
Nah – my muscles are really quite small… and… I’m actually very skinny.
hehe. Poor girl didn’t know what was wrong with me. It was quite comical. Anyhow I was feeling overly masculated after that and other encounters so I wrote the above post.
6’2″ in heels eh? We can get you taller than that babe. How about 7 inch Stilettos?
Rock on (+ Devil’s horns sign)
Hexa -
Hi, Hexa,
I’m also a tall gurl (6’2 1/2″ barefoot, 6’6 1/2 in heels), admittedly, not as tall as you, but I’ve not encountered the venom you’ve obviously gotten.
But then, I’ve not been to Bankok. But hey, those Thai gurls are just so petite, anything over 5′ and 45kg would seem monstrous to them. But that doesn’t excuse their cattiness. Some T girls, it seems, think that bitchiness and cattiness is ‘feminine’ behaviour. They try to exaggerate their femininity with an extreme behaviour that’s really a parody of real women’s supposed behaviour . They’re wrong. GG’s are just like guys; there are nice ones, and nasty ones.
You seem to have been unlucky; at the wrong place at the wrong time.I’d say, try to put aside the memory of the nastiness and try again to go out dressed. I’m sure you would agree that there are many gurls on this forum who are very nice, and would never pick fault with your appearance.
I can’t speak for the gay community; I have no idea if many take the attitude of your dad’s friend. But again, there are the gays who are just ordinary guys, who are gay, but don’t act out the stereotypical, bitchy,mincing persona. You may have just encountered a couple of the latter.
I’ll use an analogy from life (not crossdressing). My father came from a low socio-economic background (grew up in the Depression), and was fairly poorly dressed, in a time when it was essential to look well dressed to get a girlfriend. He used to go dancing, and would ask all the girls for a dance. He was refused so many times, sometimes, accompanied with not- so- nice comments on his appearance (patched trousers, etc), but he never let it get under his skin (or let it show, probably) .Well, finally, he asked my mother for a dance ,and she, seeing the real person underneath, agreed. That led to a 60 year, happy marriage. He always told me not to let people worry you and make you give up.
Please don’t judge all crossdressers on the few sad ones you’ve met.Walk tall.
Hugs, Michelle -
I walked into a customers place a couple of days ago and a friend of the customer complemented on my tallness at 198 [6’7″] no heels. He knew I was of Dutch origin and in Freezland to the north of Holland the home of the tallest race on earth. Imagine how I felt. AAAAHHHHHH !!!!! For the last 6 months I always wear female shorts tops that are barely male acceptable but still plainly female clothes with shaved legs and arms, shoulder length hair etc etc in my daily male mode. I go to shopping centers as I am and just do my thing. BUT I AM GOING FOR IT, ALL THE WAY, DAMN IT,
This visitor was Africans of dutch origin is 8cms shorter than me and all his brothers were taller. His sisters were about his height 190cms Look at the web in tall girls in holland. One model had the same length feet as my self 14’s and hands just as big but longer fingers.
About 6 months ago i saw a tall girl, same height and larger than me in a supermarket. I observed her as she walked around and even reached over a shorter genleman to get something on a top shelf. I observed her at the checkouts and no one noticed, no one
The transgender doctor, my speech therapist, hair dresser and many others also talk about tall gurls but they also talk about their attitude to be themselves. Like you Hexia I have questioned this tallness all my life and have decided to go for it.
I am in the process in the last year to remodel myself, from a gigantor to as slim as practical, from 150kg to 95kg with hourglass figure and aid like skin tightening in certain areas. Health and excercise play a large part if I am to look 40yrs at 54yrs old. At the conclusion this will require FF and SRS to walk along the beach in a bikini
I still have some doubts even now but as each period of time passes I am encouraged as my shape changes and the people around me including customers who havn’t seen me for years have comented on my slimmer body. Mind you I am only 1/3 of the way thru and FF, the crossover to 24/7, is 2 yrs away now
But if you can remodel the body even as tall as I am, I feel we can only be admired and envied to what can be achieved. Any one who makes fun then can only be jealious. That is why I am going for it as I believe I can achieve this goal but it will take TIME!!!!
Jane AndersonPS Motif “Amazon”
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Hi Michelle and Jane
My SO is 5’3 and weighs 40 something kilos so that doesn’t help the confidence
But accepting that you can’t beat ’em is ok. I guess it really matters who you are trying to impress. If it’s just guys you are trying to impress then even Robert Wadlow (tallest man ever at just under 9 foot) in a skirt would ring someone’s bell. So I don’t think we need to worry much about that. Judging from the amount of feedback I get from various profiles posted around the place there is a big market for tall gurls. Besides we are really just “mini mes” as mere 6 foot somethings compared to the actual big people out there. There are 7 and 8 footers roaming the streets. I wish I was a couple of inches shorter but the 8 foot 2 person wishes he/she was 2 foot shorter!Jane – I have had some success at the “remodeling” thing. At 22 I was over 100 kg (105ish?) and decided to never be big again. A life change was necessary and I converted to low fat foods, low carb, etc. and managed to stabilize my weight at ~94 kilos. I kept this going for 12 years but now I want more.
But I’m afraid the only solution I’ve found (including doing aerobic exercise) is to eat less. It has been a bit of a tough journey experimenting with how little I can eat and remain healthy and alert but I hope to find the correct balance. I’m not talking about purging or starving yourself – you have to be able to sustain it long term. A recent dietary study I read suggests that the diet that makes you the healthiest you can possibly be and makes you live the longest is this kind of diet. The end result is minimal body fat and an almost constant feeling of hunger – but not to the point of starvation.
I have halved the amount I eat. Now I am 83 kg and hope to get to 78 kg soon.
Please note that the jury is still out on Calorie Restriction (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calorie_restriction) but there have been many positive results and as I have Alzheimer’s AND Parkinson’s disease in my family then this diet might help prevent them too.
Now if only I could give up smoking
Hexa
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Dear Hexia,
My diet. Starving yourself is just the beginning and that’s where it stays, three days no more, the stomach shrinks. Then you eat as required. Leave the table hungry and later the brain will catch up. Drink water, half an hour before meal. Do not eat late and if you do mashed mixed veges is quite a teat. After 6 months it becomes a way of life and just go ahead and enjoy and the kilo’s will fall.
I had a chicken schnitzel a couple of days ago as I was busy. In the past I would have had two but now half is all I could have and the cats had a treat. A month ago I had a chunky steak pie. In the past I would have two. I regreted having it.
Go for fruit in the morning.
It take a while to adjust [6 months at least]. I feel peckish sometimes but never hungry. And yes I have some custard, ice cream and cookies but not much.
My taste has changed for the better and I don’t crave the past any more.
I am looking at the end result
Jane Anderson -
Hi Hexa,
I have just read yur vexing account of the troubles you have encountered being tall. I am 5ft6″ for the record. So I have encountered some problems in the male mode, ie being limited to the height of girlfriends and having bigger guys try and take advantage of me (when I was much younger) etc.
But over the years I have built up a resilience to such ‘attacks’. I know I am a short, stocky Scotsman, so no one can tell me anything I don’t already know.
What I am trying to say in a roundabout manner is all of us tall, short, one-legged or whatevr have to build up our inner strength and confidence. Become impregnable to stupid comments. I just think if anyone says anything nasty to me I immediately think how much better adjused I am than that f…idiot.
From other ladies comments there seems to be quite a few tall girls. Maybe you should for a social circle and go out together…
By the way I think you look very sexy. LOL Amberr -
Hello Hexa,
I’m 6ft 3in, with size 13 (male) = size 16 (ladies) feet.So I can understand your feelings.
I haven’t yet found shoes to fit, and my only wig is a strange shade of pink (I’m a bit colourblind, and when I bought it I thought it was a nice auburn!)
So It’s taken me years to find the guts to go out. But last weekend I finally plucked my eyebrows and my courage and went to a Seahorse meeting. I had a lovely time! There were ladies of all sorts and shapes and sizes, but they were all there having a good time, accepting and admiring each other. No drama, no disapproval, nothing but friendship and acceptance.
If you’re in a town that has a Seahorse club close, I would urge you to go check it out…you may find, as I did, that your wishes can come true
Bless you, Clare
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Dont worry about it Hexa, Welcome to the over 6 club . I have been out Many times now in daytime and night time , sure the tallness catches peoples attention but if you look confident in yourself they usually either smile or look at you for a few moments then get on with thir activity.
I find it intersting to observe peoples reactions so I’ll keep going out have had athe iodd smart remark from guys but who caresWe rule!!!
Caroline
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Thanks Gurls
I feel much better about my masculinity vs femininity now.
What I find particularly interesting about crossdressing, transgenderism, transsexuality, etc. is the unique state of mind that many of us have. I find myself have curious mental gurl/guy dilemmas (like the one we have been discussing) about things that perhaps “normal” people would not consider.
for example – aggression and confrontatialism as a boy. I find am hyper sensitive to situations that involve, well testosterone I guess. Although I abhor violence (e.g. I once spray painted “ban boxing” on the side of the national convention center before a boxing match). I am an aggressive, confrontational, trouble maker when I see “injustice”. I’ve been kicked out of places, beaten up many times (although I have learned to fight back with some success now), banned from places, spat on, flamed, and humiliated. But I’ve never been a bully – this only happens when I see someone getting picked on, am being picked on myself, or being ripped off. So what has this got to do with being a gurl? When the adrenaline levels reach a certain point sometimes my gurl side kicks in! First there is a crazy internal mental exchange between the gurl and guy side and then the results are unpredictable. Sometimes gurl wins and sometimes guy. This has led to some bizarre outcomes.
Have any of you got any interesting anecdotes about how your thought processes may differ from the norm?
* kisses *
Hexa -
Hello all. I have to admit, i did a survey the other day and found out that i am about 2/3 feminine and only 1/3 feminine.
I consider myself tall as well (considering the height of GG), but not as tall as some other girls. I am 5 feet 11 or close to 6 feet and my shoe size is 9.5 to 10 womens. That is apparently the maximum shoe size that most department stores stock, which I am lucky in that sense.
If i was in the street in female mode, most people would look twice at me because i am considered tall for a woman. That is what I don’t want.
Hugs and kisses
Joan -
Hexa wrote:
Quote:When the adrenaline levels reach a certain point sometimes my gurl side kicks in! First there is a crazy internal mental exchange between the gurl and guy side and then the results are unpredictable. Sometimes gurl wins and sometimes guy. This has led to some bizarre outcomes.I know how you feel, sweetie…it’s a wonderful aspect of being transgendered!
We can be strong and protective, refusing to condone any kind of violence or discrimination against anyone weaker than ourselves, and at the same time being the gentle, kind and sensitive souls we are underneath.
We’ve got it coming and going!
Bless your heart,
Clare xxx
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Hi Hexa,
I’m 6ft tall without heels and go out in very public places day and night in heels and do not have a problem. Like Caroline said its about confidence and I am happy go with any girl who wants to go out for the first time or any time. Its so easy, and its great to be your self in public.
There are plenty of tall girls, so dont let that stop you. It sucks to be ripped off, good on you for standing your ground.
