Captain Bridget’s story

[Anonymous]

http://en-gb.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001114495008

If that is her Facebook page we should all send her a supportive message.
Good on her

[Anonymous]

Channel 7 is running a poll asking “Should tax payers fund Captain Bridget’s sex change surgery?”

http://au.tv.yahoo.com/polls/popup/-/poll_id/57835/

The poll is already showing 66% against …

[Anonymous]

From http://au.tv.yahoo.com/sunday-night/blogs/article/-/article/8273677/captain-bridget/

Informed and calm debate on gender realignment needed

By Neil James, Executive Director of the Australian Defence Association

Recent media coverage concerning an ADF officer undergoing gender reassignment treatment has unfortunately tended to adopt sensationalist and often prurient themes. It should instead have stuck to the facts so we could have commonsense discussion of the possible implications for the individual concerned and our defence force.

Public feedback on talkback radio and in comments posted on blogs and newspaper websites has been particularly uninformed, emotive and too often just plain prejudiced. The vast majority of comments reflected little or no knowledge of the facts or context involved. This even includes how modern defence forces actually operate and are funded, and what conditions of service and citizenship rights defence force personnel are entitled to.

The position of the Australia Defence Association on this issue is based on the same principles we apply when objecting to the way tabloid newspapers occasionally purport to be outraged by breast reconstruction surgery for female defence force personnel (at a rate of about three a year).

First, all full-time members of our defence force have always received medical and dental treatment for illnesses, injuries and wounds at public expense. This is both a condition of service for the individual and a prudent investment by the nation in ensuring we have a healthy, fit and usable defence force. Whether it is a gunshot wound, a physical illness such as measles, or a psychological illness with few or no physical symptoms or effects, the principle is the same.

If the illness or injury prevents continued service in the defence force then a medical discharge may be necessary in the interests of both the individual and the ADF. If the reason for discharge was caused by military service, then the person concerned is entitled to continuing treatment and/or compensation at public expense ― as occurs in civilian life through rehabilitation and workers’ compensation arrangements.

Second, the ADF officer in this case is being treated for a medical condition diagnosed by an appropriate combination of physicians, psychiatrists and psychologists. It is simply invalid for others to second-guess such treatment, or query the need for it, when they do not have the professional expertise required and do not know any of the specific diagnoses, facts or circumstances involved.

Third, we need to note the precedent of surgery to reconstruct the breasts of female ADF personnel for reasons of injury or illness (both physical and psychological). This is not “cosmetic surgery” as the tabloid newspapers are wont to claim. Similarly, gender realignment is also medical treatment for a widely recognised psychological (and at times physical) condition, not merely a surgical procedure supposedly undergone for reasons of personal choice, whim, vanity or “perversity”.

Fourth, defence force personnel do not somehow lose their rights and entitlements as Australian citizens when they put on an ADF uniform. As with breast reconstruction surgery, gender realignment surgery for genuine medical reasons is one of the 16 psychological conditions requiring surgery covered wholly or partially by Medicare anyway. Contrived tabloid or talkback-radio outrage at the supposed “waste of taxpayers’ money involved” is invalid. In the case of ADF personnel, the defence force is effectively only acting as the taxpayers’ agent for Medicare.

Fifth, the Australia Defence Association is also always wary when some ambitious journalist after a splashy headline, or talkback radio “commentator”, claims or insinuates that psychological conditions are somehow not an illness and “do not deserve” treatment. This attitude, for example, stopped Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) among war veterans being treated properly for years. We are also very uncomfortable with how the psychological or physical recovery of the ADF personnel involved is ignored, often contemptuously, when inaccurate and insensitive media beat-ups about psychological conditions are aired.

Sixth, but not least is the question of maximising utility in operational and financial terms. It is generally much cheaper, and certainly much quicker, to retain someone in the Services than it is to discharge them and then have to recruit, train and develop their replacement over many years. The more experienced and qualified the person retained, the more money and time are saved, and wider operational inconveniences (through teamwork dislocation or capability displacement) avoided. In the case of possible discharges for medical reasons, if the cost of the medical treatment needed to retain the person is less than the financial, time and foregone operational flexibility costs of replacing them, then it would be a gross waste of the taxpayer’s investment in that person, and in the defence force as a whole, not to at least explore the option.

Finally, there is the matter of continued defence force service after the treatment is completed. Media and general public acceptance of this is important and, as recent media coverage and the reaction to it shows, cannot be assumed. Several other factors more specific or quite particular to the ADF also need to be considered:
• Does the person wish to remain in the ADF?
• Is their experience and age an issue?
• Would their continued service fall inside or outside established medical, psychological, physical fitness and deploy ability parameters?
• How might their current operational specialisation and employability be affected by a gender change?
• What might be the effects of the gender change on military teamwork, group dynamics, unit cohesion and operational effectiveness?
• What types of unit would be involved?

• Would the operational capabilities, conditions and readiness requirements of such units be affected?

Both during and after completion of the treatment it is likely that consideration of each person and their circumstances needs to be undertaken on a case-by-case basis. Such consideration should certainly not be influenced by ill-informed or prejudiced opinions espoused by some members of the public, particularly when whipped up by some in the media for their own commercial or careerist ends.
Neil James is executive director of the Australia Defence Association, the national public-interest watchdog organisation for defence and wider national security issues (see http://www.ada.asn.au)

[Anonymous]

I’ve confirmed that it is indeed Bridget’s Facebook page.

Tammy says;

Quote:

Bridget has already received a lot of positive messages on facebook – all of which are great, but we wont be adding heaps of ppl to our fb friends because we use it a lot to keep in contact with close friends and family, because we need their support, their humor and the fact that they knew us before all of this. We are public figures now, at least for a while, so have to be careful about public statements and therefore will be keeping our fb private. We really appreciate the support however, each message helps us feel that this was the right decision and help counteract the comments from bigoted morons, so keep them coming if you want to!

I would really reccomend looking at the extra material on the ‘Sunday Night’ website – there is an interview with Professor Linda (a paediatric nursing and child health expert from Curtin Uni) and a longer statement from the Defence Association which covers why a member of the ADF should and will get medical treatment paid for regardless of the misconceptions or prejudice about the medical condition.

[Elizabeth]

Oh dear! along with my wife I watched Bridget’s story on channel 7, which was new to me and my wife. I was prepared for some comment by wife, any comment, but it is always made in favour of the partner. I could sense the tension building and the comment forming. ‘You can tell the wife is devastated and is causing so much grief and despair. What about the children?’ For a while the atmosphere became icey and somewhat inhospitable. Rightly or wrongly I agreed with her without distracting from the main issue, ie Bridget. Sorry folks but its a dilema. We are harmless except to our SO’s, nearest and dearest. The results of our ‘challenges’ can be devastating. Is there an answer? I think that it is an individual thing, I don’t know. The statement of Neil James was factual, without predjudice, well thought out and to the point.
I guess I like to see the points of view of everyone as there is always two sides to the coin.

Liz

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone, I was going to respond to this topic last night however here and also on ATSN, however I got far too emotional.

I also served in the Australian Army between 1980 to 1984 and I was reduced to tears last night when I seen this story. It reminded me so much of myself, but I also cried many tears of happiness for Captain Bridget because of the acceptance & support she is now getting. I could have only dreamed that things were this good during my service.

I think what a lot of people voting on that poll don’t consider is that the ADF is considering here is the cost of Captain Bridget’s training as opposed to the cost of treatment & SRS. But having said that the Federal government also needs to also consider the cost to the Australian Tax Payer with people like myself that have been a burden to the Federal government with what they have had to shell out to support me because of Anxiety & Depression relating to my Gender Dysphoria. At this point of time the Australian Taxpayer is shelling out $21,000 per year for my Disability Support Pension.

This story has inspired and motivated me to write this morning to the Federal member for Leichhardt, the Honourable Mr Warren Entsch. I have made a formal request to urge more government intervention and a revision of our Medicare system, Anti-discrimination laws & to make available support services to get transgendered people back into the workforce. I also included a request for the Federal Government’s to help promote more transsexual awareness & better acceptance in Australian Society.

Here is a copy of my letter to the Honourable Mr Warren Entsch.

Quote:

Dear Mr Entsch

I am writing to you because I am a transsexual female diagnosed as having Gender Identity Disorder, a known medical condition that has had serious implications for me all my life. So Becoming a transsexual isn’t a decision I ever made, it was a card I was dealt when I was born & I now have to try and live with.

Last night there was a story about Captain Bridget a similar person to myself that aired on Channel 7’s ‘Sunday Night’ Television program.

The only difference between myself and Captain Bridget is that I am on a disability support pension and cannot afford to save enough money to pay for very expensive Sex Reassignment Surgery in Thailand. The cost of which including airfares would be about $15,000.

My condition affects my state of mental health, it has caused me to suffer from severe anxiety & depression which has affected me to such a degree that it has forced me out of the work force and onto a Disability Support Pension in 1998. I was diagnosed at the time as having a ‘personality disorder’.

Since being forced on to a pension I have become an even greater burden to the Australian Taxpayer because I have had to rely on Centrelink since then for financial support.

At present I am currently costing the Australian taxpayer over $21,000 in Centrelink payments each year just to support me.

At times my Gender Identity Disorder has affected me to a point that I have become suicidal. It has destroyed many aspects of my life including relationships with members of my own family, my parents and my own children.

There also needs to be more work done with regards to improving anti-discrimination laws and also to promote public awareness & acceptance in society to remove the vilification and discrimination that still seriously affects transgendered people like myself here in Australia.

I believe that if the Australian Government can intervene and help here to further improve support services as well as make sex reassignment & feminisation surgery available to transgendered people like myself that need this type of help then I have a much better chance to get my life back together & become a good taxpaying citizen in this great country of ours once again.

If the ADF can consider such issues as the cost to the Australian Taxpayer, then I would most certainly like to know why the Federal Government cannot do the same for people like me who currently rely on welfare payments the disability support pension who cant afford the expensive cosmetic surgery required that would allow me to live my life as my true self and help me as well to return to the workforce.

I am no different in the medical condition I suffer to Captain Bridget and I believe that the Medicare system needs to be revised.

I need your help and your services to advocate these services for thousands of other transgendered people living in Australian society.

Best Regards, Melody Moore

While we have it much better here in Australia with regards to getting access to doctors, counselling & onto hormone therapy, I still see lots of room for improvement especially in the areas of FFS & SRS. Its shocking to think that nearly all Australian Transsexuals have to try & come up with the funds and travel offshore to Thailand in such a ‘civilised ultra modern society’. So in some ways we are still living in the dark ages.

[Anonymous]

A response from Tammy to questions posted on NewCTN regarding her position in the ADF;

Quote:

Thanks for the message – lots of questions on a day where I am completely overloaded. The short answer is that Bridget is in a different but equivalent job now which is not gender reliant (but her last job wasn’t either) but there is still a very long way to go for the ADF – what the glibly say on TV about supporting us is not how they really are and we will pursuing them through the AHRC to sort out the damage already done and what they continue to do – like deny her promotion to major which was due at the end of this year.
Anyway, we aren’t at all happy with the follow on media coverage and spent an hour working on the plan of attack with our PR company this morning. They are expensive, but they are worth it – watch this space. btw – how gorgeous are our kids? they fucked up and showed their faces a bit, which MAJORLY pissed me off, but at least now I can brag about my gorgeous girls.

[Anonymous]

Tammy is not a member of TR, so I am posting her responses on her behalf;

Quote:

I am so glad and so proud that our story has helped someone start to stand up for their rights! Well done Melody! Please make sure you share the response – democracy only works if we stand up and be counted and if we make sure our elected representatives do something.
We are going to be following up with more media and more letters to politicians etc – this was just the first step. The more trans people who can put their hands up and say ‘stop treating us like second class citizens because we were born like this (you bastards!)’ the better. We could have just had a big whinge about how horrible the Army have been to us, just to make it to this point, but we think its more important to advocate for change and use the public profile we now have to make things better for ourselves and for everyone like us.
We will be doing more and if people are interested in sharing some of their story in a limited way (e.g. publishing that letter and the response with your personal info removed on our website), then we would really appreciate the support.
Thank-you so much for sharing Melody and Julie.
Take care,
Tammy

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately my family saw this on TV last night …..then let me know about it.

The opening lines to the segment were along the lines of “then HE decided to become a she”. And the digger went along with it. 0____0

Ok….. due to recent worldwide media coverage on trans related topics I want to yet again distance myself from these words…. transgender and transsexual.

The world has one view of these words and people that are actually going through it have another idea of what they REALLY mean.

Basically it’s a medical condition that should not define us unless WE as individuals choose it to. It is not a lifestyle choice in any way imaginable.. and if anyone does do it under that premise.. the necessary specialists are there to weed them out.

So when someone finds out you are “one of those” they view you from their tainted understanding dished out to them by ignorant idiots in the media etc that don’t know the first thing about it.

For this reason alone I no longer consider myself these words… they are tainted, stigmatised and misunderstood. I will just deny it all if people say anything.

Plus ..and this is going to unfortunately sound harsh to some but it’s how I feel …. I believe that if a married male (to a women) “decides” one day to become a women then their marriage should be made void.
IF the female of the marriage loves the new side of their husband/new-wife then they should declare it again officially with the new name on new paperwork. They married a lie, a persona.. when that changes so should the vow in all it’s forms.
A lot of wives I’ve seen on these TV segments stick by your partner out of loyalty more than love, they are not lesbians by nature they have that forced on to them. Being the women that they are they stick it out. I’ve seen them say ON NATIONAL TV “I would of preferred for him to stay [male name]”. They fell in love with a man they are heterosexual. It’s like a trap… find someone first then change so you can have it all without having to go through a harder life trying to find someone. Which they should.. as they would unequivocally love them for who they really are not who they once “were” or once were pretending to be first and foremost.
Just to back up my point ….if this digger bumped into his “wife” as a transgendered person would she (being the heterosexual she is) of dated and married him/her? You may say maybe …but I say highly doubtful.

I think it’s wrong to trap people in marriages they otherwise wouldn’t want to be in. But if they love the person no matter what then they should prove that it’s for real by going through the process of marriage again, on their terms not someone elses. Does she REALLY love him…… if so prove it. Don’t be passive and go with the flow.. just like society teaches all women to do.

So yeah no doubt another controversial POV by the muffin. But it is how I feel about it right now. And I feel it is worth sharing. Don’t like it? walk away. Next week I’ll no doubt view it differently, if only slightly.

Next point… every time someone who is “transgender” makes it onto a mainstream TV segment it’s 99 times out of 100 someone who is early into transition and still presents mostly as their old gender, this is what society sees… most people judge them more on their looks and vibe at that point of their transition and don’t realise that they will develop and change more than that. Thus giving a false impression of what it’s really about, unless they state that by pointing it out and educating people… but they don’t.
I KNOW that those that pass and are stealth are more likely to not want to out themselves in an attempt to educate the public…..that are already way too behind on the subject and would largely not “get it” anyway. It would be “oh she’s pretty…… that’s even more deceitful!!! nnnoooooooo”. lols I jest… but no doubt a lot would rate her purely by her looks and probably make a comment something about tranny porn or something equally as degrading.

Basically what this comes down to is………. I don’t feel like I AM what the public thinks I am. I didn’t choose this I don’t want it…. I’d rather be dead than viewed negatively based on BS lies and misinformation. Stories like this upset me.. people get attacked and killed because of this BS so-called journalism. They are largely responsible for such behaviour and someone needs to pull them aside and actually explain to them what they are doing.

[Anonymous]

While I agree its a medical condition that should not define us, it should not confine us either to feeling like we have to live our lives to the point that we can only live our lives in ‘stealth mode’. We should be strong enough to be who we are. I’m not so fearful of my male past if it ever catches up with me, I’m a big girl who can stand up for myself & take care of myself and I am sure that Captain Bridget is as well and for this reason alone I really do respect her for that courage.

The reason why we as transgendered and transsexual folk face so much danger & ignorance in society is because those bigots who threaten us simply something they don’t understand or know anything about. It’s human nature to do this and we as transsexuals do it ourselves until we finally understand and learn to know ourselves.

I consider myself a babe in the woods because I’ve been RTE for over 4 months and on HRT for just over 3 months & I know the feeling only too well that you get if someone outs you. Luckily Ive only had this on a few occasions since I came out. But each time I dealt with the situation confidently and very maturely and the bigots who tried to give me a hard time were quickly put in their place.

To save me typing it all again & highlight the main points I am making here, this is a post I made on an international transgender support forum recently about such bigotry and how one should deal with it.

Quote:

The times are a changing that’s for sure. I live in the equivalent of the Deep South of the USA in living in Cairns, Far North Queensland. However there is a huge GLBTi community here now and we have one of the better Sexual Health/Gender Services in Australia. And while I don’t have any issues usually when I’m out in public, there are still pockets of ignorance that do exist in my local community, but these groups of people only have an issue when they actually know someone is a transsexual but they don’t really know them personally at all.

My best example is my former house-mate, Tony who was very homo/transphobic when I first told him of my intention to transition & become a female. But Tony’s ignorance & that of his friends was also attributed to the fact they feared someone who was trans because the had never met anyone else in their very sheltered lives who was like me.

On the night when Tony’s friends first seen me as a female, their mouths all fell open & their jaws literally fell on the floor in total disbelief at what they actually seen. The told me later they actually seen “a real woman and not just a man dressed up in women’s clothes”. Meanwhile Tony was abusing me saying something like… “F**k off – get out of here you queer c**t”. However when his friends finally did speak up it was in condemnation of how Tony was verbally abusing me & this guy also condemned Tony about what he had been telling these guys before they actually met me as a female. Once they had been confronted by what they initially feared, I felt nothing but total respect & support from this groups of guys. One of the guys told me that what I was doing was “one of the most courageous things he had ever seen anyone else do in his life”. He also said “Before when I knew you as a guy I didn’t ever know what to make of you, now I see you as a woman, I feel so much better & comfortable about you”. I think these guys realised is that I was nothing evil or anything bad like Tony tried to paint me up to be, but rather someone who was not threatening in anyway & truly feminine.

Last Monday morning I had to call in an collect the last few things I left at my former house mate’s place. I was pleasantly surprised when Tony said “Wow you really are looking good” & when he addressed me, he called me ‘Melody’ and not by my former male name. When Tony finally did this I thanked him and also congratulated him for overcoming his transphobic fears – he even gave me a hug for the first time ever as we said our goodbyes.

I think what this example highlights is that most people who are ignorant are in fear of the unknown and things that they don’t really understand when it comes to transsexualism. But when they actually know someone like Viccy for example then those fears can be very quickly dissipated and turned around into total acceptance and respect because we really are not anything to ever fear.

Quote:

I’ve had that happen just the once in over 3 months as living as a female and I found the experience priceless!

I went to a supermarket late one evening just before closing time and while I was at the checkout & was being served a female operator at the time when I noticed an aboriginal guy who was being very loud & vocal to another aboriginal guy about me… he said to the other guy as he was pointing to me “that’s a man”. When this transphobe made his very loud statement the operator and I both looked at each other, shrugged our shoulders & burst out laughing… the operator said “I wonder what that guy’s problem is?”. The guy then took off out the door. After I walked outside I seen the same guy at his car which was parked right next to mine. As I walked toward my car the look on this guy’s face turned to horror, then he jumped in his car so fast and took off out of the car park squealing his tyres.

What this clearly highlights to me is a fear of what these transphobes don’t know or understand about transsexuals….
its human nature to fear the things that we don’t know or understand. This also applies to us as transsexuals….
because as we learn to understand ourselves, the less fear we will have within ourselves.

If we hide in the corner and never come out and speak to the world, then nothing will ever change. I don’t expect everyone here to do the same thing as Captain Bridget or myself, but please don’t feel offended if girls like us choose to take up the fight to help promote awareness & acceptance.

[Anonymous]

To me that is but one small part of the answer..it’s not really all encompassing. Sure fear of the unknown makes up part of it but not all. I say that because even though I’m currently medically considered to be transsexual and I understand the condition quite well.. whenever I see a transsexual not a crossdresser but a transsexual that has either not started HRT yet or only just begun and is dressed head to toe in the most feminine clothing yet still has more physical traits of their old gender my mind says “eeeehhhh”. I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of the general public also think this.
And to me it’s justified… if you still look more like your old gender yet can’t wait to pull out the clothes and do all that then it seem more focused on that which seems wrong to me. Female clothes are for female bodies if the body hasn’t changed then it’s going to look wrong, that includes the face.
Being female is so much beyond that… if you can’t come across as female without the clothes then you should work on that first and foremost.
The idea is for transition of a MTF to move from male to female, this is not an overnight thing as you know it takes 2-7 years if not more for some. While transitioning you move from male through a phase of change that is considered imo to be more androgynous.. you begin to lose your male features slowly and they over time become more feminine. This is the main reason why I changed my name to a unisex name for this period of my life.
I feel that a lot of MTF transsexuals skip that phase and just go straight to female clothing before they imo are ready.
Sure it’s their decision but they also know that the public will and do frown upon that….not just from fear but social standards, we are more than what we wear. Is it wrong for the public to frown at it? I’m sure most would say “yes yes they are wrong” etc but I’m not so sure. I for one feel it is their personal right to hold those views and to try and take them away is wrong and controlling.
On the level of understanding the condition then sure there is much education to be done but the judgement of those that appear as something that looks more like an impersonation and almost like a mockery of all women is in my eyes just.
To me it’s a compromise I don’t see myself completely on either side, I don’t feel that those that are transsexual are 100% right and I don’t think that the general public are 100% right either. If they were then there would be no issues or problems.
I think it’s about being realistic.. the aim is to pass and blend and I feel that is possible at any point if one is realistic.
It’s like when people come out it’s all male male male then boom hey everyone I’m female “eerr no look in the mirror you’re male”.
I think those that hold onto their old persona or slowly become more androgynous for longer to the point where people start to say “you know you are very feminine etc”. Feel more relief when you come out than shock. I think it makes more sense to people and they are more likely to accept… there is something “visible” there for them to grasp and reflect the words that one says.
I feel that the general public don’t have an issue with the ones that pass only the ones that don’t.. and the ones that don’t seem to be most likely to be in the public eye “representing” us as a whole. Not to dismiss the work and effort they put in… but like with the nikki araguz case in America no matter what you say they will find a way to edit it and twist it so it comes more from their POV. Which is why I don’t watch TV.

[Anonymous]

Hi Muffin,

While I do agree a lot with what you are saying but the decision to live full-time as a female should not be based around whether you have had electrolysis, how long you’ve been on hormones etc. It should come down to how comfortable you feel within yourself and how familiar you are with being a female. I spent a couple of years researching and learning about transsexualism, feminisation, including deportment before I finally felt I was ready to start my RLE.

I have a number of trans friends here in Cairns and have been told that I pass much better than some of the girls here that have been on hormones for nearly 2 years. Even my doctors at the Doll House were amazed to see how well I did pass when they first met me before I was prescribed hormones and thought I was already having electrolysis and have been on some hormone therapy. They were shocked when I told them I haven’t done either. What also gives me a slight advantage over a lot of other transsexuals is I was always androgynous as a male because I was born intersexed with pseudo-hermaphroditism. So I have small hands & feet & some hips and had female breast that filled an A cup bra and I lactated years ago long before I even started on hormones. Even in incident that occurred with my former house-mate, one of his friends told me that night I was not what he expected me to be… he said “he seen a real woman and not just a man dressed up in women’s clothes”

If anything ever gives me away its usually my voice but for the most part I pass pretty well there. I’ve also been a musician & singer all my life, and have done lots of work to feminise my voice before I started RTE. However on the rare occasion, depending how busy I’ve been & how tired my voice is that I might get a little hoarse. That is what gave me away late one night while at the checkout in the supermarket. The aboriginal guy who tried to out me was in front of me at the checkout & overheard me while he was picking up his bagged groceries when the cashier asked me how I was, that is when he heard my voice and figured out I was a trans-female.

The bottom-line is there are no hard & fast fixed rules to when one should start living as a female. Its still an individual choice – just the same as Bridget & Tammy’s decision to appear on national television.

What you probably don’t know is that they have some issues they are taking up with the AHRC over the media coverage, but Im sure that the media will be soon sorted out and put in their place over these few issues.

I would also like to requote Tammy’s reply to me & Julie that was posted earlier about my letter to my Federal Member…

I am so glad and so proud that our story has helped someone start to stand up for their rights! Well done Melody! Please make sure you share the response – democracy only works if we stand up and be counted and if we make sure our elected representatives do something.
We are going to be following up with more media and more letters to politicians etc – this was just the first step. The more trans people who can put their hands up and say ‘stop treating us like second class citizens because we were born like this (you bastards!)’ the better. We could have just had a big whinge about how horrible the Army have been to us, just to make it to this point, but we think its more important to advocate for change and use the public profile we now have to make things better for ourselves and for everyone like us.
We will be doing more and if people are interested in sharing some of their story in a limited way (e.g. publishing that letter and the response with your personal info removed on our website), then we would really appreciate the support.
Thank-you so much for sharing Melody and Julie.
Take care,
Tammy

What I have done here has prompted some action already because I had a missed call his afternoon From my local member, Mr Warren Entsch himself who left me a a voice message that I will be following up on first thing tomorrow.

You don’t want to stand up and be counted, thats fine, but Im never going to be one to be told I should go sit quite in the corner.

[Anonymous]

Quote:

While I agree its a medical condition that should not define us, it should not confine us either to feeling like we have to live our lives to the point that we can only live our lives in ‘stealth mode’. We should be strong enough to be who we are.

I have to agree with you there melody. Although i would go one step further and say that being trans is not a medical condition. Only the medical profession says that it is a medical condition. Doctors who have the monopoly on “sex”. The same doctors who dish out “male” or “female” gender markers on the presence or absence of a penis. This is a medicalised, phallocentric, medicalisation of gender, maintained by the medical profession.

I myself dont want to be defined under a medical condition, quite simply for the fact that if i do i will then have to conform to the rules of that medical profession.

The medicalisation of gender/sex is a way of controlling bodies – what is right and what is wrong. If there was no control then would there still be wrong and right? Who says women cant have penises, i know lots that do and hell its sexy too.

[Anonymous]

Quote:

Female clothes are for female bodies if the body hasn’t changed then it’s going to look wrong, that includes the face.

the aim is to pass and blend and I feel that is possible at any point if one is realistic.

Im interested to know what a “female body” is? Who says that it is a “female body”? Whos interests does that female body serve?

Id also like to know Whos aim is it to pass and blend?

[Anonymous]

Quote:

Im interested to know what a “female body” is? Who says that it is a “female body”? Whos interests does that female body serve?

Id also like to know Whos aim is it to pass and blend?

Whatever you want it to be?… I guess for me I notice a difference in body fat distribution, body/facial hair, softer rounder face, breasts, the typical T shape compared to the egg shape…. as you know all these things can change with HRT etc after a period of time. And these differences either compliment the cut of the article of clothing or they don’t. I’ve been surprised just how much my thighs have changed shape since starting HRT I can tell a difference very much so. I used to hate tight jeans but now I love them! But I still have a long way to go…it’s funny I’m still only a size 12 and my mother is saying I’m fat already…. lols I think she’s just been waiting for ages to say that! I’ve told her I’m not even half way there yet and she’s freaking out…. I won’t be happy until I need to upgrade to at least size 14. I need to balance out my shoulder to hip ratio so I can get away with nicer clothes.. she things my shoulders are fine but really to me they’re not but they could be after some balancing! mmm tim tams.
But we all have our own POVs and ideas, just like the general public…. you could proclaim to the world this is me this is who I am like it or lump it which will make you feel great but at the same time what you are doing is shutting yourself off from others and their opinions. For a lot of the general public they may disagree. Are they right or wrong to do so? Who’s opinion is most valid in this structured society we live in.
If doing that makes you happy then by all means… but it’s not for me. I’d feel happier finding some middle ground.. a compromise.. not a complete bow down don’t get me wrong.

Do I care too much what people think I guess in a way.. but I place value on that. If anyone is going to give honest feedback it’s them..and I’m all ears. Passing is important to me and if they can hint to what I still need to work on then awesome I have something to focus on which will enrich my life at the end of the day. Thus I have taken a positive from their insult. ^____^

When I see people in the media wearing pink wigs with stubbly facial hair claiming they are transsexual then it makes me sad…. because people latch on to that so much easier than the ones that actually blend.
You may think “wow that’s awesome you go girl”. But yeah it’s not for me to me they are not female. They may feel they are on the inside but is that enough to wear that female label? I’m not so sure… gender roles and expectations do play a big part of life unfortunately.

Who’s aim is it to pass and blend… I guess maybe people that feel they’ll have a better life being known as a female instead of a transsexual. I mean it is MTF not male to transsexual.. and for that I personally see it as a temporary word for a temporary period in my life. If you want it to define you then go for it.. if someones aim is to stay in that middle area and consider themselves a transsexual then cool they have reached their target. And if that is what a transsexual is then cool x2. Ima just keep going and be female and find a look that works for me.. which can be one of the hardest things as we were generally not raised that way.. to crunch 20+ years of exposure and understanding into a year or two is not always easy. And you can usually pick up on that.

A lot of people may think “but you are not a natal female”, which is true.. I have never in my life ever thought “I am a natal female”. I’m me.. so my mum keeps reminding me… but when I’m out and about I am missed and ma’amed which could be a true reflection or them just making sure they don’t offend and jeopardise their jobs due to some stupid rule. It can be hard to tell sometimes.
If anyones aim is not to pass and be seen as a transsexual then great good luck with that…. but for me with people like that in this world then it’s just another reason for me to distance myself from that word. Simply because the world still views it as a physical thing.. they say we are what we were born as in reference to our outer skin.. they don’t understand the concept of gender it’s not “learned” to them so indepth.. and we know as it took us to research it ourselves to understand it so I can sympathise with them.. but some are stubborn with such topics so to try and change the worlds view to me would be very hard and would take a long time. I’m here right now I need to deal with the now. blah gosh I type such nonsense don’t I. I’m going to stop….I haven’t even had a smoke this afternoon yet either. :S ..actually …good idea!!1