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Changes to the chat room
I am not comfortable with the use of the chat room by a small minority for adult discussions which I feel have no place in a transgender support site.
So for a trial period we are going to explore a new way of using the room.
The aim of these changes is to increase the visibility of who is chatting where, and to provide some more positive self-moderation of the rooms.CHANGES:
There are now three rooms – you can enter them through the pull-down at the top of the screen. Go into another room if you want to talk with someone for a while.There is no PM. Use the rooms to chat. I will disable the back feature so you can’t see what has been previously said in the new rooms when you enter.
If it turns out we need more rooms I can add them
COMPLAINTS?
Give it a try! -
21 Replies
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As expected a few people are quite vocal in their opposition to the changes. But it may be the same people who have pushed me to taking some action.
Why does it matter what happens in private chat – what business is it of the admin?
Well it boils down to the fundamental question of what the site is here for.
Are we trying to encourage an outlet for closeted people to fantasise and create a virtual persona, or are we trying to enhance the life, position and image of transgenders in society.
Personally, I’m only interested in supporting girls in their journey into, and in, society. I find it quite worrying to feel that I might be providing for some the comfort that would encourage them not to develop and blossom.Is it a big enough problem to need to worry about it?
Probably not on its own, but it is also coupled with the rise in members having ‘unnecessary’ information in their profiles.
I feel I need to do something to just nudge the group back in the direction I believe in.
Sadly, in groups of this nature they don’t do that of their own accord.And the final question I see asked.
Why not just kill the profiles of anyone who crosses the line?
Well because that would put me and other moderators in the position of judge.
We would have to read the PM chat logs and decide on what details in a profile made someone a less desirable member of our community. I for one, don’t want to go there. I believe that there is a transgender continuum and one cannot, and should not assume, that someone who currently sees their transgenderism in terms of wearing underwear and virtual sex, may not discover they have a more substantial journey to undertake over time. I don’t want to deny anyone the chance to take that journey.A long post – but one final point. As always when we make change because of a few, the innocent suffer. There are those who have used the chat PM effectively for one-on-one support. Although the new chat rooms are quite private (till someone else joins) I will be giving PM rights to moderators and those who have demonstrated over the years that they are working to enhance and improve our community.
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I am having a blonde moment and cannot see a drop down menu. If I go to chat I can see three rooms but seem to be able to access only the one room.
June
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Quote:I am having a blonde moment and cannot see a drop down menu.
Don’t panic about your hair colour June – the chat room isn’t exactly designed to make these things obvious!
To enter one of the other rooms:
Look at the top of the chat screen, above where you see all the chat text, and there is a blue box to the right of the word Room:
This is a pull down list (now there is more than one room) and when you select a new room …. woooosh off you fly there.To invite someone else to join you in another room.
Go to the room as above.
Then on the list with the pictures you will find that the people in the Radio Studio have dissapeared and now the room you are in is shown.
BUT to the left of the words “Radio Studio” in the picture list you will see a little yellow square. Click on the yellow square and the main room will open up and see everyone.
Now click on the person you want to talk with (like you used to select Private Chat) but click on Invite.
If they accept your invitation they will be transported into your room to join you. -
Hi Amanda,
I was intrigued and had a quick visit today. Are the extra two rooms basically for example two friends to wander out into the kitchen for a chat?
(I notice the total lack of a coffee machine BTW
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The more serious bit is that none of the girls had a real handle on what you meant by adult chat.
I had many useful conversations on pre op and post op sexuality while I was transitioning and I would hope that we would still be able to discuss undoubtably adult topics in an informative / supportive way. Since I’m an infrequent visitor these days it’s no biggy for me but I’m sure all (most / some) of the girls would like at least some guidelines as to what adult chat means in a cross the line sense.While I’m here I would like to thank you personally for your fabulous site. The support and help I recieved from all the girls through my transition (if we ever stop transitioning lol) was supurb and I am very grateful.
Ta
Gwen -
Quote:Hi Amanda,
I was intrigued and had a quick visit today. Are the extra two rooms basically for example two friends to wander out into the kitchen for a chat?yes that’s the idea – a replacement for the private chat which didn’t seem to have any element of self-moderation
Quote:I had many useful conversations on pre op and post op sexuality while I was transitioning and I would hope that we would still be able to discuss undoubtably adult topics in an informative / supportive way.Discussions about sexuality are just fine by me. I draw the line somewhere about explicit virtual sex, or explicit discussions about sexual preferences. But in fact I don’t want to be the person to draw the line. I’d rather all the bandwidth just gets used to support each other on our often difficult journeys.
P.S And I should say that I’m quite prepared to be labelled as a prude by those whose transgender yearnings are totally below the waist.
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Yes, the below the waist stuff is difficult an area to address when it comes to the Trans world. But what does one do, ban it and deny that it happens or ask that people be considerate and go there at other sites if you are cruising? Not easy to answer. I haven’t been cruised to my knowledge since joining TR, but I do get suspicious of some ppl from time to time with the way they talk. And if it goes that way, I try to steer back from it. Basically I’m not here to cruise, just chat with like-minded ppl, share my thoughts and give supportive encouragement to other ppl wherever I can, plus process profile changes along the way.
Below the waist stuff is part of our lives though, and must not be denied, it’s what we as humans are, however when some ppl are more forward about stuff some others get scared, and that is unfair. One should perhaps be upfront and say what they want to chat about and if it’s about sex or in a sexual context, they say so and please gracefully accept that some don’t wish to address this now or ever. It isn’t why they joined TR.
We all have a varied and at times troubled journey in the transworld and perhaps if we just went a little further in understanding each other and our respective differences, that would help. Yes, I have seen a few lines in some people’s profiles that leave me wondering, but I cannot edit them out, that isn’t my job to do. Maybe if you are seeking the occasional physical contact you should be looking elsewhere and save TR to chat about trans-stuff? I don’t know what anybody else thinks to that? Personally I look elsewhere if I want that sort of thing, not here at TR, but then again that’s me being considerate and just a little bit screwed up on the inside LOL.
There are any number of places to seek encounters, just look on the net, or if you are lost for that, email me and I can send you some links. The rest is upto you!
But there are very few resources and contact points for transpeople to meet and form friendships with like-minded folks, and TR does serve as a great resource for that very need. It does not take away nor supplant the operations of groups scattered around the country, it does help as far as I’m concerned to show that there is a vast amount of people in the same places, that people want friendships and it allows people to see what is going on. The Canberra Transgender Network posts our events in the Events section of TR because it’s a good way of reaching more people both locally and interstate, and hey, two years in a row people have come from all over to our Xmas dinners. It’s the networking facility that TR provides that helps.
What counts is respect for the wants of people using TR but also individuals being able to say NO to certain stuff. Trans people get downtrodden by all things going on, and that makes it difficult, so if everybody has the mind to respect its our space away from the daily grinds of life then all will remain good.
I love coming to TR when I feel both good and rotten. Sometimes my rotten might be for just chat, to blow a bit of steam or relax or hear from friends or laugh at something funny somebody said or see how fast somebody can clear the room!!!!! LOL.
For me it serves a great purpose or I’d have never joined in the first instance!
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Getting use to the new way, hey Change is always on the cards and you have except Amanda has not been wrong.
If a few people let things get out of hand and done wrong Then Amanda has to protect this site and yes the people who come here daily to share the day they have had over a cup of tea. Regardless if your in New Zealand or back of beyond no where West Australia you come to realize TR is home .you make friends here and want to look out for each other. We come here to joke and help each other as best as we can with out any more hang ups. We share a lot here and I try as best as I can to drop in when my work allows me.
So Amanda you got my support, Hey no body likes change. But again you get use to things because we expect this site to be policed as best as possible. The last thing Amanda needs is something to get out of hand and lawyers coming to town crushing TR.
Sad to say we live in an age where we can not stand up and be responsible for our own actions, many light years ago in a galaxy far far away… you did wrong you stood up and admit it, These days it always easier to say the devil made me do it! šæ Shakes head.So its new way lets just relax and see how it goes a few months from now. I suspect no one will be too worried over changes.
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Well…2 weeks on the entire web site hasn’t collapsed into a black hole just because some people have been encouraged to chat elsewhere.
The next refinement has now been implemented – and this is the gradual re-introduction of private messaging for those who can be trusted to use it for support and confidential discussions.
The web site has now been adjusted to give PM privs to anyone who has “”Unquestionable” reputation in the reputation system.
The trial continues!
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Quote:The web site has now been adjusted to give PM privs to anyone who has “”Unquestionable” reputation in the reputation system.
How does one get an ‘Unquestionable’ reputation?
Shells
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one wonders how they will ever be unquestionable shells . Went to chat the other night and the change has made it very different like everyone is afraid to speak incase they violate.
Moderator
Quote:On the contrary I, and others, have noticed a marked improvement in quality of chat in the main room. Far from being intimidated by the often absent Webmistress and her rules, it seems that most members are quite happy to keep TR as the support web site it was cut out to be. I can only assume that those who express discomfort with the change are no longer able to PM chat in the way they used to – and on balance, having read the logs, that might not be such a bad thing. -
Amanda, i think you are doing a wonderful job, it is not easy to please everyone.
I find the chat room very friendly and have had lots of great tips on things that are of concern to me. It is also a great place to make contacts with the view to future friendships.
I am new to TR and have already met four girls through the site, so well done YAY -
Shells, all the info is here: http://forum.tgr.net.au/cms/forum/FXXXXXXXX/909-09
But basically keep logging in each day and posting in the forum adds up your points. You need 400 points to get the unquestionable shoe.
Abbie, I have not had that feeling here? The chat room has always in my time been moderated. However if people feel to have the need to have conversations of a nature that is unacceptable on TR there are free instant messenger programs like MSN and yahoo where you PM to your hearts desire. They can be run at the same time that you meet in TR.
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Hi Anthea
So we need 400 points before we can pm!! šÆ oh well I say I will have PM back in 2020. shrugs 
As Amanda said not the end of the known universe. Its not like I am on anyones radar anway š -
Quote:Hi Anthea So we need 400 points before we can pm!! šÆ oh well I say I will have PM back in 2020. shrugs As Amanda said not the end of the known universe. Its not like I am on anyones radar anway š
I’ve not had the feeling about lack of chat either, though I do from time to time like to use it to a select few people as sometimes the chat room can get busy. So I do miss it.
I think like you Cheetara, I probably won’t have it until 2020 either – and I’ve been a (posting) member for nearly 2 years now.
Oh well..
Shells -
I’ve given away almost 800 points (now I have 150) complimenting and encouraging girls that are new to TR, I thought that’s what the idea of the reputation points werer?
