Coming out in the city and regional areas

[Elizabeth]

Hi Caty- Seek acceptance if possible, not just tolerance. A lot of people tolerate us, not good enough, we need acceptance for being whom we are. Then on the other hand, who gives a stuff? Liz

[Marian]

Thanks for sharing your inspirational post Hollee. You are indeed courageous in your approach to our challenges and wish you continued success and acceptance of who you are. Hugs Marian

[Alison_2]

Like Hollee I too worked in a male dominated industry – the transport industry. I would often drive trucks interstate as Alison. I rarely experienced problems, people in country towns were great as were most of the regular drivers that I would see on the road. Some staff at the depots would give me the cold shoulder but there was someone willing to stand up for me.
Since I retired I have been travelling around on my own both in Melbourne and throughout Victoria. I have found city people are too busy with their own lives to notice me and country people to be very friendly and supportive. I am often left wonder if anyone really cares who I am as long as I am either spending my money or willing to sit and talk .
Some of my neighbours don’t seem bothered except for next door who are my age and ignore me – their loss. I believe others think there are two people living in my house because only a few weeks ago when as Andy, I was asked how my sister was as she hadn’t been seen for a while. That boosted my confidence.
Last year I took a huge gamble and came out to the local shop keepers because I wanted to start going in as Alison. All except one said it was fine and should anything happen they would support me – well I do live in the rough part of Cranbourne so I wanted to make sure I would be safe.
I guess the most important lesson I have learnt when I go anywhere is to blend in, don’t stand out, dress as the locals, be relaxed, be polite and above all believe in myself.

[Ali_C]

Hi everyone, I understand th fears and dreams that come as part of our life. I decided a few years ago that I wasn’t going to let lthem rule me anymore and now the same only place I don’t dress as Ali is at work. At work there is little point as I have to wear hi vis long shirts and trousers them and steel cap boots. I haven’t bothered at work as there seems to be little point. I have come out to some of my work colleagues and they have accepted it and been very supportive. To the rest of I guess I am the weirdo with the long hair in a ponytail, bright nail polish and ear rings. They probably wonder but not many of them ask. If they do, I tell them that I am transgender and the conversation usually ends. I don’t make excuses for it anymore, the way that I used to. At home, or anywhere else for that matter, I always dress as Ali. Some people the outfits are very feminine and some it’s hard to tell. I dress to suit the situation. My parents in law, don’t really accept it, but I want not hide it from them. I just tone down the dress to suit. As for everyone else in the small country town where I live, I have had nothing but support. The guys don’t talk much, which is typical anyway, and all the ladies are supportive and friendly. When i used to go to the local supermarkets, no one would talk to me, now I am stopped nearly every time for a chat. My local doctor is another example, she moved to the area earlier this year and has always been very interested in what was going on for me. My wife started seeing her a couple of months ago as well, and now when she goes to the doctor, I am always asked about. I am thankfully pretty healthy so I don’t go very often myself. My wife told me the other day that I should go to her just so she will stop asking about me.
My advice to anyone who reads this is to go for it. Put your fears away and be yourself. I think that’s why I am now accepted in a way that I never was before. In my previous existence I was very quiet and reserved, now I believe I am much more open. People can see this and they treat you accordingly. I have never had any of issues with acceptance, although I do admit that I won’t frequent places which are likely to an issue (pubs etc).

[Martina]

This topic is no doubt of great interest to those who seek to live full-time as a female. I don’t have such a need and am happy living my double-life (aided immensely by a wife who actively supports me); nevertheless, I do empathise with those who might seek this path. We are after all just trying to be ourselves in what we perceive as a potentially hostile world.
A case in point happened over twenty years ago in a large organisation in which I worked. One of our number, a respected scientist, made it known that he would henceforward be seen as a woman and would undertake the various physical and chemical processes deemed necessary to make the transition. Some years later, after I had left, I asked one of my colleagues whether she was still there and whether she had found acceptance among her workmates. He said that she was accepted without reservation mainly because of the totally honest way in which she had gone about it. He added that he had never heard any snide remarks behind her back or any negative criticism of what she had done. Given that this took place so long ago may be an indicator that our fears are over-stated and we are much further down the track towards acceptance of who we are.

[Deleted User]

I don’t know if anyone else has seen this thread going around on Facebook., I have two accounts, one for me, Claire, and one for ‘himself’. On ‘his’ page there is a thread going round commenting on transgendered women being allowed to use female toilets.
It is a base attempt at stirring up resentment and is quite pathetic. The heading is along the sensationalist lines of, ‘Would you like a man in a dress to use a female toilet and put little girls at risk’?
I know some of the people who posted replies, all of which are, of course, in the negative and would describe them as mental midgets. But this shows the mentality those in the country still face.

[Vicky]

The time has come, everyone at work advised. As of Tuesday after Easter Vicky emerges fully. Finally no more secrets, no more living two lives, it will just be ME the one and only Me. Support has been great so far and even some great banter going on in the office.
Busy Easter for me, hair today, about 5 hours the hairdresser reckons,( waited soo long for this) Nails booked for Saturday. Sunday, pack up all the male clothes and say goodbye to them, (Vinnies or Burn ??) Monday lay out all work outfits for the week. Then find the Valium bottle and try and keep calm till Tuesday morning.