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dont suffer in silence ask the question
Hi everyone looking back ,over my life I have had some ups and downs as we all have not knowing witch way to turn not knowing were we fit in are we female or male, well you can only answer that your self ,but this can take along time to under stand whats going on.
I see this inner turmoil with other ladies these ladies are younger than me and i can draw the comparison between my past and what there going through it pushs the point home when that ask me questions ,there the same questions i use to ask myself.
The difference between my past and now you can ask questions ,you can read all about being transgender but when another girl tells you it seems to sink in faster and a great weight is lifted of there shoulders again support in away face to face or be it on a key board.
So ladies i dont mind if you ask me questions its better to ask a question then wonder and suffer in silence rember i can only draw the answers from my past .
take this to heart someone told me ( we are all the same but different )just think about that .
I hope it helps
salleyj -
5 Replies
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Ah! Salleyj if it was just so simple…
After a near death experience several years ago, for me, the only real question is: The meaning of life?
As much as I enjoy creating the illusion of being female that’s all it is, an illusion. Why do I do it? What does it all mean? Where will it end? Would I have been happier born female? If I had would I have known? Would it have mattered? If the internet had been around 40 years ago where would I be today? So many questions and so few answers… The 1st question, I guess we will never know until that moment arrives… and nobody has ever come back to reveal the answer.
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I continually ask myself the question why am I like I am? Like Pam I cannot answer the question in a manner that would close all discussion down and leave me satisfied… Thank goodness! If I could answer it, then would I love my time as Helen and want to spend more time as Helen. Perhaps it’s a question that will never be completely answered, possibly because we are wired in such a way that we can’t answer it….
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I, like just about everyone else has asked the question, why and why?
There aren’t any easy answers. I suspect that is why we have religion because religion may answer some of the hairy questions that we can never find answers to. Why am I the way I am, what for, what if? I have researched, researched, researched my inner self through personal development courses, psychology, psychiatry, more and more courses. Seeking the eternal answers form the gurus ( no I didn’t need to climb the mountain) and do you know what, there are no answers. There are probabilities, possibilities and mixtures of the two, but still no answers. The best that I can come up with is, you may know within yourself, why and why again.
Everything comes back to a single point.
Would I have been happier had I been born a girl? Probably no happier than you are now because happiness comes from within oneself, not from external scources.
Had I been a girl (woman) would I have thought differently; I doubt it very much, we are who we are irrespective of gender; we are primarily human.
I feel like a woman inside, how the hell would they know. The only people I know of who can answer such a question are women, not wanna be women. Tough, but it’s the solid truth.
Transgenderism runs on a long, long spectrum as many diagrams will show. But women are sensitive are they not? no, women are more sensitive than men, it’s a human trait and in all probability a trait that may well run throughout the animal kingdom. I’ve been described by my close family as super sensitive, what the hells that? I care for others and have empathy for the plight of others, but I’m still me.
Perhaps one day a government or NGO will allocate funding for some serious research into transgenderism because so far as I see it all has been somewhat hotch potch with no definitive answers.
I’ve been close to death, and that doesn’t really give any answers, it asks more questions.
I consider the bottom line as such, in the final analysis it doesn’t matter at all. Having said that, I do believe that what we have done during our lives counts, what we have done for others in a positive way because that is how we eill be remembered. -
For me my trans status is everything, but I would much prefer not being trans at all and that I were genetic female. …If I were genetic female then all of this, ..all of this euphoria I feel now, would maybe not exist in my life at all. I guess I would somehow take all of my attributes, interests and choices in my stride, everything in my life would be taken for granted.
But I have a genetic imbalance in my chromosomes somewhere and somehow. The lifestyle of my formative years also had an influence in who I am now and who I have always been. Problem is that it’s taken 50 years for me to realise this and that I was on the wrong tram. Oh well, I submitted to the Girl Inside and allowed my life to change to the point where I am at now, …the happiest little buttercup that could ever be, the happiest of my entire life, ….but what I find hard to deal with is ‘why, oh why did I ever allow myself to be male, …for so long ??’ Well, I can’t change that now, but I will wonder about that for the rest of my life.
Since this massive change took place I have begun to understand myself and I have looked back over my life and recognised all the signals and pointers that I should have noticed but never did;
Like, …what makes me cry so openly whenever I feel emotion ? Why do I even have these emotions ? Why do I get so worked up over a dress that I’ve seen ? Why do I prefer dresses ? Why do I only ever check out the ladies’ wear page in the Target catalog and ignore everything else ? Why are my eyes instantly drawn to the female figure on my TV screen, ..in every scene, always. ..Why am I in the kitchen with the women at parties, instead of standing at the BBQ with the blokes ? …Why am I so neat and tidy, and actually enjoy housework ?? Why do I have this spontaneous but highly embarrassing girly giggle whenever I laugh ? …Something that always made my tradie mates give me funny looks at times.
The Meaning of Life has nothin’ on this …!!
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Hi I think you are all spot on, no answers just more questions ,is it spiritual genetic ??? The more you analyze it the more confusing it gets yes I should have taken steps to be who I feel I am earlier in life, yes I only read the women’s section of catalogs, yes I am more comfortable hanging out with women. I read women’s magazines and books though sexually I am only attracted to women though with hrt I have had a few moments daydreaming of being with a man more questions ??? I used to tinker with cars n bikes now im more interested in my next manicure ! questions no answers. I guess you have to make peace with yourself and focus on your own needs for a while .interesting to note we are all inderviduals from all age groups and walks of life but I can’t help be amazed how similar a lot of our storys ,habits ,emotions, likes ect are another question lol.
insert twilight Zone music here Scylla xxx
