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doubts when out in public
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Do I have doubts when out in public en femme, you bet? I wonder if the thrill of being out in public is part of the general feeling of doubt and dare I say it, fear. I real challenge comes from being able to overcome that intrinsic fear and plough on regardless. Who is watching, are they watching, is the world going to fall on me? Fear and more fear, never ending fear.
It is said that the more you venture out the less troublesome it becomes. My view, for what it’s worth depends on the individual. The open, fearless type, outgoing appear to have no problems whereas the more timid types (me) need dutch courage or something of that nature.
I have no problems shopping, at least not now. I guess I have shopped for a long time and my money is as good as any. I bought shoes this morning, shoes that fit properly and are not likely to wreck my feet, they are available, but cost. Clothes, I have loyalty cards at various places and try everything on; never had problems. Do I have doubts? you betcha! -
I hope this fits in with the context of the thread.
I needed an outfit, well, a funeral I had to go to. I wanted some black slacks and top.
I wanted advise , so i asked my wife to come along. She said reluctantly, ” I guess I will have to some day”.
I said no, I go shopping all the time, I don’t have any male clothes anymore, I am comfortable with it all now.
If someone wants to stare at me, than they have a pretty pathetic life.
Anyhow, she said she would. So, about to leave, and my 12 YO daughter says , Can I come.
Of course you can, But I am shopping for female clothes.
She says, blah, I don’t care, the best response I could ask for I guess.
So, off we went.
In the ladies department, looking at clothes, what will work , what won’t, my daughter saying, and she is not quiet, hey Dad, how about these slacks, and this blouse ?
Okay, lets try it. Got a few different clothes, ad off to the LADIES change rooms.
Tried on different things, daughter running back and forth with different tops and pants.
Wife starting to relax. We all agreed on an out fit that worked.
And off to the checkout.
On a whole, I think my daughters attitude really broke down some barriers for my wife.
I loved the whole exercise. As long as I don’t have to wear his clothes anymore, i am one happy girl.
I hope this gives some support and confidence to others. -
i find if you go to shops, go when busy, easier to blend in.
go when quiet, you stand out more.
the shop assistants dont care, they smile , help you, like any other customer, i always get treated with respect.
love shopping for bras and getting fitted,(Simone Perele)
about kids,
i find they out you straight away, most girls just smile. -
Start off going early in the morning or on Sunday when things are slow. Shop people are generally struggling financially these days and any money is welcomed. I have, in the past, asked if it is ok to “try on this dress etc” and have never had any problems. The fear I had in the past is gone and now I just go in, as is my right and buy what I want. The bigger stores usually have little kids working there and they wouldn’t dare start on a big scary queer like me!! Older women serving have seen it all usually and don’t give a shit!
If all else fails shop online and keep hidden.
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Quote Liz at #17: The open, fearless type, outgoing appear to have no problems whereas the more timid types (me) need dutch courage or something of that nature.
That’s an interesting take Liz though I don’t see myself as open and fearless. More so having very positive experiences builds confidence over time. Knowing that people have fun and laughter is not likely to be directed at us help too.
As I said above, I’m certainly not fearless.
BTW, for my friends in Canberra, don’t be jealous – I’m sitting outside having a coffee in Brisbane in a short sleaved top and skirt. And the locals think it is cold!!
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It occurred to me today that we , as TG folk really need to get out of our own heads a bit more. I wore my hair curled and the usual makeup to work today whereas I usually wear a ponytail and no one kicked me to death ALL DAY ( so far!) I have feared other peoples reactions all my life and no one seems to give a damn!
I do think that if one of our clients parents made a complaint about my appearance then maybe I would be ‘ counselled” but I have an argument ready for that occasion should it occur. And so I continue to push the boundaries and subsequently overcome my fear of going out in public as the person I wish to be.
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yes i found most people serving dont care to much but some dont know how to handle us they seem a little scared or think we are weired
I think the owners of the stores need to train there staff about us and be more open towards us as we spend and spend big
we are customers and people to and quiet harmless
salleyj
