Educating the public on transgenderism

[Anonymous]

Hi Liz, Good for you. If only more of us had the opportunity to enlighten the general community in small ways I am sure it would help. How do you explain your feelings in such a way that they can understand without bringing either disbelief or ridicule???
I have difficulty in understanding it myself let alone explain or justify my feelings to another person. Like you I can remember becoming aware that I was different from about 4~5 years of age and nothing has changed.
Couldn’t agree more about the nurses except for my ex nurse wife.
Couldn’t get out of the marriage fast enough after she discovered the ‘other woman’ in my life?
No explanation of my feelings or the fact that I was still the same person would change her decision. Now I float between two genders as life dictates.
Ain’t life wonderful!
Cheers Pamela

[Anonymous]

I wish someone would enlighten me.
Why does transsexualism happen?

I feel much better since transitioning – but why does it happen in the first place?

Am I a victim of one of natures mistakes?

Am I crazy? My psychiatrist says I have no pyschiatrict reason that is compelling me to be as I am, but I have GID

Am I normal? How can I be normal if I have GID?

I have read all the theories, but I am no more enlightened than before. So how can I explain it to others? My life story doesn’t answer the question – why

I would just like to know why so I can educate others.

[Anonymous]

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I wish someone would enlighten me.
Why does transsexualism happen?

Hi Erika, I’m not about to offer an explanation why it happens, my life became so much easier when I just accepted that my gender reality is just that – a reality.

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Am I a victim of one of natures mistakes?

Personally, I don’t feel like a victim but rather an enlightened & lucky – yes lucky – person who has a broader scope of gender experiences.

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Am I crazy? My psychiatrist says I have no pyschiatrict reason that is compelling me to be as I am, but I have GID

I probably am crazy but that’s unrelated to my gender. 😉 My diagnosis of me does not include the theory of GID. My gender identity is comfortable for me & also perfectly valid – not to mention fully accepted by almost everybody I know & associate with. If you believe that only two gender positions are valid then GID could be valid but I don’t accept that notion, so for me I can’t be gender dysphoric. Regardless of what others may think of my beliefs, they work exceptionally well for me. The flow on effect of me feeling comfortable with my atypical gender perception & display is that the people I come into contact with also (as a rule) feel comfortable with me as well.

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Am I normal? How can I be normal if I have GID?

I prefer to read those three words as ‘I am normal!’ I am normal depending upon who I am associating with & depending upon what I am measuring. Many years ago I undertook studies in psychology. Within that field, statistics are extremely important in order to measure such ideas as ‘normal’. Normal is simply a statistical average, it’s just a measure of comparison, not a measure of right & wrong. If one stops attributing right & wrong to normal & understands that it is only a measurement for the purpose of grouping things statistically, life can be made much easier to live. Whether we are statistically normal or not says nothing of our validity as human beings.

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I have read all the theories, but I am no more enlightened than before. So how can I explain it to others?

As you might imagine with my background studies I too have done extensive reading & continue to do so, but not to find a cause or cure but rather because the subject fascinates me. Just personally, I don’t feel that a singular cause will be identified, human beings are far too complex for that.
I take every opportunity to speak to every person that I can about my personal gender understanding. I speak very matter of fact about it & do not try to offer explanations as to ‘why’ but rather that my gender is a reality that I need to express the same as they do. It’s not open to conjecture, it is a reality regardless of anyone elses opinion. I experience extremely high levels of acceptance from most people I engage with. By me feeling comfortable with myself, others very quickly become comfortable with me.

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I would just like to know why so I can educate others.

I’m repeating myself now but I don’t think gender typical people need an explanation of ‘why’. I think what is far more important is that they ‘see’ gender atypical people. No criticism is implied in any way now but because so few of ‘us’ are visible, the rest of society is not familiar with us as average, normal, day to day people who just happen to perceive our gender differently to the accepted norm.
I have only been full time for about two months but I am yet to have a (real) problem with people accepting me. To give some perspective to this; I own & operate a business that has a number of ‘tentacles’. There are production, wholesale & retail sections of the business. I also provide consultation, design & education through the business. The range of people I deal with is vast, from all walks of life, most socio-economic levels & from all over Sydney. My customers, suppliers & business associates are a very diverse group of people. As I present as an (apparently) female bodied person but am obviously of male ‘stock’ it is obvious to everybody that I am ‘different’ to the statistical norm. By not fully ‘passing’ & being able to be ‘read’, I have a perpetual situation of being ‘seen’ for who I actually am – a male bodied feminine person or transgender person or whatever other term is preferred or known by the audience. This allows for education in every instance. I can’t begin to tell you how many people who knew me prior to being ‘out’ have said to me “you’re still the same person”. There is absolutely no evidence that my presentation is negatively effecting my business, in actual fact I have been told directly by a couple of customers that they decided to utilise my design & consultation services because of my ‘honesty of character’ which they related to my having spoken to them so frankly about my gender.
My point is this; the way I educate the public (successfully) is to be who I am & be available to either carry on as usual (& why shouldn’t I?) or to speak directly & frankly with them about my gender perception.
I only need to tell them that this is how I perceive myself & feel, not ‘why’.
One other thing I do is to leave books about Transgender Studies on the main desk/counter in my business, that way if the topic is not broached, at least the customers have a ‘label’ to research if they are interested.

[Elizabeth]

The usual questions arise around educating the general public on transgenderism. The hows and the whys. Me, I just try to be myself at all times, open, honest, somewhat timid. I don’t try to compete with the clever people, but I research, avidly read, hopefully the right material, absorb and listen to those who ought to know.
I don’t rightly know what the answer is to why and how. Dr Fintan Harte, Director, Monash Gender Clinic told me the origin is inherent, although I still wonder?
The easiest way that I know is to accept yourself for what you are, difficult at the best of times, and above all, smile and talk from the heart.

Liz

[Anonymous]

I am only a part timer and have the advantage of being able to hide everything and when I wish. The following are just my thoughts and how I see things and interpereted what was said, please feel free to add any input that you may wish to.

Brenda Jane

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I wish someone would enlighten me.
Why does transsexualism happen?

Its part of nature – everyone has male and female in them which means the total spectrum exist on this planet. The bigger issue is that society will make an artificial level of very clear distinctions between the genders, this is a boy and this is a girl. There is also the fact that the human species will normally attack anything that is different. This is an old survival instinct that exists since man climbed down from the trees.

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I feel much better since transitioning – but why does it happen in the first place?

It is part of who you are and when you say you feel much better – I interpret it to be more relaxed, complete as a person, something you couldn’t be if you didn’t do it. Everyone gets yearning for different things, yours is transgender. To have a yearning is a normal part of life, to question is a normal part of life, to try different things is a normal part of life.

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Am I a victim of one of natures mistakes?

I would argue that its not a mistake. My Girlfirend wants to live in the 1920’s if she could and loves period drama’s to the point of obsession, is she a mistake – no one would every question that. You are who you are and that is a human being. It is part of the diversity that makes up the human species.

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Am I crazy? My psychiatrist says I have no pyschiatrict reason that is compelling me to be as I am, but I have GID

Hardly, If you grew up in Thailand or Samoa then you would be accepted as part of society because both societies accept transgender people and most likely wouldn’t be asking these questions. You have to remember that we grew up in a western, christian/judaic society and also that there is still the legacy of Victorian England over the western world. The we are not amused and everyone knows things are done in a certain way with a stiff upper lip. Society is only over the last 30 years or so breaking this down and freedom is coming out. I.e. its ok to be different and yourself.

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Am I normal? How can I be normal if I have GID?

First you need to accept who you are and be happy with it and that is something I struggled with for years and occasionally still do. Then ask yourself – do you contribute to society, I mean work, look after friends and family, help others around you or generally make life easier for all when you can. That is what I would consider normal

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I have read all the theories, but I am no more enlightened than before. So how can I explain it to others? My life story doesn’t answer the question – why

The age old question and there is probably a massive research grant for whoever discovers this. I only normally explain it to others when they ask as I have found people are normally so caught up in thier own lives that they don’t have the time/interest/inclination to ask or be bothered by it. When they do ask I am always suprised by the questions that follow and outside of why which I can’t answer except to say that it is part of me and it completes me. I was never really setteled as a person until I accepted who and what I was, since then life has been easier. At this point I say – feel free to ask any other question you may have, this makes it easier for both of you. They will ask from what she understand and you can explain which will lead to more questions if they are really interested.

I recently went to get waxed and the beautian asked me why I was doing it. After I explained to her she was taken aback but then the entire session was her asking me question after question. I am certain when I go back she will ask more as she wasn’t finished. Just remember a lot of people really can’t be asked as they are too caught up in their own lives and if they accept you for who you are – does it matter?

Oh and just remember to be yourself and be happy that you can be yourself.

[Sophia]

Hi all
Been following posts and have really been touched by every one’s sensitive insights. Reading through the words I reflect on my own journey and the wonderful experiences I have now had in the public eye since last year and finally after so many years of guilt, confusion, trauma, loss and grief.
My final happiness came about by what has been touched on – finally coming to my own self acceptance in a holistic manner. Once I owned this the world opened up and I stepped out in confidence something that surprised me!
So after all the why’s, it was why not! it is who I am and makes me a better human being in terms of being sensitive to others, tolerant, supportive, caring and empathic! I take this into my family life, working life and the community, it is deep within!
I have found the experience enlightening and magical! Most people are kind and will tend to respect you for standing in your truth if one is gracious and confident and of course if one has made a great effort to look well groomed and appropriate.
I can now say “Once was a curse is now a blessing! and forums like this make me feel confirmed which is always lovely so thanks and blessings to you all! It can be a wonderful world out there and we as tg people throw magic and light at it by standing in our truth.
kind regards Sophia

[Sinndy]

Hi everyone
New to this serious stuff but I have read this thread with much interest. I, like Pamela and Liz and no doubt a very large portion of us, have been aware of our difference ‘dare i say that’ from very early childhood. There seems to be the common question of Why ? I to have pondered this question for many years but it has never really bothered me that much until recently.

Hoping not to raise the debateable issue of labels, I have always classed myself as a cross dresser and was comfortable to live that life secretly with limited times to dress in private only. My wife too never understood and really didn’t want to know anything about it. There was never a persona or identity.

Chloes quotes- Just personally, I don’t feel that a singular cause will be identified, human beings are far too complex for that. I agree as I believe many things contribute which I believe I have touched on below.

Many years have gone by since my wife has passed. I have raised three children from that time, being both Father and……’Mother’…. attending the many years of school functions, parents meetings and volunteering ‘mainly with women’ Has this sparked something much more which had laid dormant ? perhaps.
The raising of a daughter since the age of 11.. Has this tuned or heightened my female side and understanding ? perhaps

I was now not only the ‘hunter gatherer’ but also the ‘homemaker’ and ‘sibling nurturer’ Has this something to do with it ? perhaps

In the last 18 months I have developed an identity, someone who is real, some one enjoys being who she is, someone now who wants to live as a woman more often than not.
I don’t live full time but do go out as often as possible and have attended many functions both at home and now TgR organised events.

‘Again’ I had never really questioned why? UNTIL……. I decided to tell my children, My two eldest boys said ok that’s cool and accepted it to a certain extent.

But here is where I have come undone after many years of not worrying to much about it…. My 18yr old daughters first and persistent question was… WHY ?.
I went blank, I stammered, I got embarrassed………. I had no answer I have thought long and hard now about that simple question and the answer eludes me.

So I now understand the need to know WHY ? and Erika’s list of questions ….and how I can confidently go to my daughter ‘ or anyone else for that matter’ and say this is WHY………….

So for me a sequel to this could be… Who am I now.?…….Maybe another Topic or maybe my first ever Blog
Sinndy

[Adrian]

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So I now understand the need to know WHY ? and Erika’s list of questions ….and how I can confidently go to my daughter ‘ or anyone else for that matter’ and say this is WHY………….

I think there has been excellent advice offered already in this thread pointing very strongly that the WHY question that Erica is struggling with is not the way to go when educating the public.

There is very little chance of the WHY question being answered in our life time – and along with the other great mysteries of Life, The Universe and Everything you can resort to faith/religion for “answers” or you can just take a practical alternative and get on with your life.

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The easiest way that I know is to accept yourself for what you are, difficult at the best of times, and above all, smile and talk from the heart.

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my life became so much easier when I just accepted that my gender reality is just that – a reality.

Quote:

I was never really settled as a person until I accepted who and what I was

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I only need to tell them that this is how I perceive myself & feel, not ‘why’.

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So after all the why’s, it was why not! it is who I am and makes me a better human being in terms of being sensitive to others, tolerant, supportive, caring and empathic!

All the above are very sound, solid advice … and a far better foundation for healthy life than engaging in the endless search for “Why”.

So if others want to know Why… let them tell you first Why Not!

[Anonymous]

Thank you everyone for the lovely feedback.
I carried your feedback in my heart today as I joined my friends from the LGBTI community for breakfast and a day of a wine tour and wine tasting. As I drove home this afternoon it dawned on me that I did not ask the whys of the day. I did not ask why the wine was made – I simply enjoyed it. With tears I decided that is how I am going to live my life. I will spend the rest of my life enjoying it and being thankful and grateful that I can be me without asking the whys, or trying to explain the whys to others. It is much easier since I became the woman that I am today. I have not experienced any problems with anyone, so why not enjoy it? Amanda – Adrian is quite right in what she says – why not?. I will carry you all in my heart.
Hugs and kisses to all xx

[Sheryl]

Hi Everyone
This has to be the best TgR forum topic I have had the pleasure to read and I think I have read them all.
Thanks to Liz for starting the thread and to Erika for steering it in the right direction and to all who provided such heartfelt replies.
I now have an answer to the question of why I dress and why it feels so ‘right’.
I think J.F.K. gave us this answer about 50 years ago but I missed the question on that occasion.

Amanda-Adrian wrote:

So if others want to know Why… let them tell you first Why Not!

Absolutely brilliant!

Hugs xxx
Sheryl[/quote]

[Anonymous]

What I would like is a documentary maker like one maybe connected with the BBC and do a documentary linking the subjects of inter-sex, gender identity and sexual preference.

This would be show running over five or more one hour shows, the first might start on how the baby develops into male or female and then over the next show might show how things might not happen as expected. There are many things that can interfere with the physical and mental formation of the fetus.

There are genes, gender modifying chemicals (especially coming from plastics) and even the stress of society can have an effect on child behavior. The last was noted in the 1940 with experiments done on crowding on rats and showed many behaviors similar to humans in crowded cities. Homosexuality, gender variance, violence, mothers not looking after young, and much more.

The stereotypical personality expected by society for a homosexual male is transgender. when I went to the odd gay Lesbian event I found the rate of transgender much higher than I expected, 19 out of 20 at a guess. I expected 1 in 20 which is the rough expected rate for transgender in the general population.

I would like to know the truth that this documentary could show and also show the relationship and connection between all the factors.

I am hanging out to to see this show and would educate the population.

Vicki

[Anonymous]

I agree that this is the best & most important subject discussed on this forum. It’s the key to improving the situation for our community in our many individual guises.

In addition to the SMH story there were 3 brilliant weekends on ABC Statewide during August. You can listen to them at the following links. They were so inspiring. I have so much respect for Helen Clare the journo.

Susan ran over 2 weekends. Both episodes:
http://blogs.abc.net.au/nsw/2012/08/susan-the-lifechanger-dj-.html?site=newcastle&program=newcastle_sunday_morning

Sam on the 3rd weekend.
http://blogs.abc.net.au/nsw/2012/08/sams-story-gender-disphoria-.html?site=newcastle&program=newcastle_sunday_morning

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone, just thought that Liz might like the technical explanation of why we are Transgendered. This is Australian research conducted by a Professor Vincent Harley at the Prince Henry’s Institute.

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Genetics of gender identity

Summary

Gender identity is the gender with which a person identifies. Studies suggest that gender identity is affected by genetic, prenatal hormonal or postnatal social determinants. We are investigating the role of genes in patients with gender identity disorders. Currently we are undertaking genetic association studies of steroidogenesis genes in a large cohort of male-to-female transsexuals.

Description

From a very early age people develop an inner sense of being male or female. However, some individuals develop a strong cross-gender identity often described as being trapped in the wrong body. Commonly referred to as transexualism, this condition leaves many patients in significant distress because they feel that their anatomic traits do not reflect their true gender identity. Little is known about the aetiology of transsexualism.

Several case reports on co-occurrence of transsexualism in families raised the question of whether gender identity is heritable. Genetic studies of girls with congenital adrenal hyperplasia, and polycystic ovarian syndrome point to excess androgen activity as related to the higher incidence of male gender role behaviour.

We have recently demonstrated a significant association between variable polymorphism lengths in the androgen receptor gene and male-to-female transsexualism when compared to non-transsexual male controls. This project will investigate if other sex steroidogenesis genes are associated with transsexualism in a larger cohort (n=200).

A molecular understanding of gender identity will also aid in sex reassignment decisions in children born with disorders of sex development, such as ambiguous genitalia.

Transsexuals often describe feeling trapped in a body with the wrong gender, a condition that appears linked to how strongly the brain’s hypothalamus responds to testosterone. A major genetic study of male-to-female transsexuals undertaken at PHI was the first to identify a small difference in the androgen receptor (AR) gene, located on the X-chromosome, which is more prevalent among transsexuals. An ongoing investigation, including a study involving the world’s largest cohort, will assist our researchers to identify other genes that may be associated with the condition.

Funding

National Health and Medical Research Council

[Adrian]

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Hi everyone, just thought that Liz might like the technical explanation of why we are Transgendered. This is Australian research conducted by a Professor Vincent Harley at the Prince Henry’s Institute.

On the contrary. What you have posted – whilst fascinating research – only applies to the cohort of male-to-female transexuals they studied.

As we know – that cohort represents only a small percentage of those who identify to some degree with being transgender – or as I prefer to say – gender diverse. Feeling ‘trapped in the wrong body’ is not something that characterises the entire transgender community.

So the research provides no clue why the vast majority of us are as we are. Back to where we were……

[Elizabeth]

Thanks Amanda A

Like I say, there are definately no clear and definitive answers. Such a revelation may be some years away before there is finally the answer we’ve all been looking for, if we are looking.
That final, clear cut answer would not in any way negate how I feel. And such an answer would not be an excuse for what I am. Do I really need to make excuses for who I am? I think not.
That final answer would, in my view allow a scientific and cohesive explanation to all and sundry.
I’ll bet a years income that despite a genetic or otherwise explanation, we would still lose wives and families, lose some long time friends, experience the same difficulties faced in employment and unemployment. And there would still be the bigots, red necks and those who would wish us harm because we are different.
We are, I think the marginalised of the marginalised. It’s good to be marginalised, because we in some way learn what it is like to be a refuge, an Aboriginal on the edge of society and others who feel the dislike and hate of many.