-
Emotional Transition – Fact or Fantasy?
I am such a novice to this space that it is embracing.
However everyone has to start somewhere.Over the Christmas period I have had to put my journey on hold while my kids are around 24/7. I am happy to be with my children but I have really noticed an emotional dissonance at times, as I have felt the need to retreat from wearing the few items of clothing I have that have allowed me to really feel comfortable.
It has made me rather conscious of how emotionally comforting it has been to explore this new ground for the first time. Not because it was sexually arousing, quite the contrary it gave me a sense of peace and calm that I found found quite surprising and very appealling. It may be the quiet sense of rebellion as I discreetly poke my tongue out at my closetted life, something that may pass, or alternatively it may be something deeper and long lasting I dont really know.
I was wondering if this sense of emotional calm was a common thread for others here?
It also perhaps begs a wider question; What are the real positive mental and emotional aspects of ourselves that seem to come to the fore when we take this journey? Is emotional transtition a reality, or are we just putting on an outfit / a veneer of sorts?I hope that makes some sense.
coffee
-
8 Replies
-
Emotional Transition, is it real? Of course it is, 100% and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.
I’ll go so far as to say, emotional transition is, to my mind the most crucial part of any transition. Your mind transitions as well as one’s phyisical body. It’s a matter how you feel within yourself, an acceptance of who and what you are. I think I can probably speak for just about every transgender person that is or ever has been, we have battled our emotional selves throughout our lives until we reach that point where we say, that’s it, I now who I am and accept how I feel. That moment in time when we totally accept ourselves for who we are, a point where we shed that proverbial weighty transgender millstone from around our necks and be our true selves; it’s a personal liberation.
I am not one who has rejected family and friends blissfully cantering through a transition only to say to myself, ‘where have my family and close friends gone’? I emotionally transitioned some time ago and am out and proud, it’s a wonderful feeling. Coffee, I wish you the very best in your ongoing journey. -
When I accepted myself six years ago that was for me the emotional transition point as I see it. I went from self loathing and confusion to peace and inner happiness. Don’t end there of course but my partner noted a new life in me that that seemed to have disappeared some where in the past.
-
Ive always felt more relaxed when dressed – its like some sort of tranquilizer and my partners over the years who accepted it noticed likewise.I used to get quite aroused by it but nowadays its not really so – it just seems better to be dressed . Mind you, If I dressed with fear of being “caught ” it was anything but calming ! Then it was satisfying an inner craving to dress not for arousal but mor cause I liked the clothes and the girlly world I could be in for a while .
hugs
suzz -
The older I get and the more attuned to being TG I have realised that dressing and transforming myself from the male to the female is more than just a physical transformation, it is a psychological and emotional change too. Earlier it was a huge high which was accompanied by a strong arousal. Now it gives less of a feeling of arousal, but the feeling of satisfaction and fulfilment has taken over. The change has become more of a complete transition rather than just one that is physical.
-
Um okay we all seem to differ so much in our needs and reasoning, I couldn’t even begin to explain, science has no answers and nor do I . Reasons, answers ,do your head in. You just get to a point where you say enough is enough this is who I am why am I fighting myself it’s crazy. And the reason you feel relaxed imo is because the picture is complete body mind appearance line up if you will ,this is you not who you think others feel you should be ,or look, act not only that, your a rebel sticking your middle finger up at society and its ideals. The human race as a whole has a lot to answer for in terms of what it dictates as acceptable or normal attractive ect, therefore brings great pain and suffering to many not just tg people. Some find this peace in just dressing some take it further, and some are never happy. Only when you accept yourself wholeheartedly will you find inner peace.
Hugs Scylla xxx -
I too feel completely different when in Caty mode and also as per Helen’s post initially have strong arousal feelings. But when fully into Caty mode I know my walk, upper body movements, (hand gestures etc) are all as femme as my 80% male brain will allow.
Caty used to be my escape from a stressful career and a marriage that at best was “acceptable”, but most of the time miserable. The fact my ex hated anything to do with Caty was a big factor here.
Fifteen years on, I am retired and have a wonderful new partner, so no stress there. Just an acceptance that Catherine Louise Ryan is part of me and always will be. I just have to control as and when she appears, for as is well known, my new better ‘arf does not know about Caty and I dont want her to.
This acceptance is also mirrored in my equal acceptance that “living in the sticks” means that going out in public as Caty, is a no no. 1/ Nowhere to go and 2/. car prangs, any accidents, etc. etc mean Caty would be exposed all over the district in seconds. Whilst I may withstand all of this, what of my partner’s feeling and reactions?? She is well known i these ‘ere “Gossip Central” parts. Did my share of feeling the “breeze up my skirt” in the “good old days”
Besides even if I could go out up in Melbourne, I’m way past the pub/disco/DT’s Richmond scene. My idea of a night out is good food, good wine and good friends. Something I would much prefer to do in male mode….
The sight of, (as one of my TGR friends has described me) a “busty matron” dressed in one of her better “ensembles” and giving the red a big nudge, would not be a good look!!
Regards to all.
Caty
-
Helen 2;
‘The older I get and the more attuned to being TG I have realised that dressing and transforming myself from the male to the female is more than just a physical transformation, it is a psychological and emotional change too. Earlier it was a huge high which was accompanied by a strong arousal. Now it gives less of a feeling of arousal, but the feeling of satisfaction and fulfilment has taken over. The change has become more of a complete transition rather than just one that is physical.’
I agree. For me years ago every single opportunity to dress would end in sexual arousal, whereas that has all but disappeared nowadays as I have matured. I have become more refined and articulate, which in turn has brought huge change to my feminine wiring and the fulfillment that Helen speaks of. I have surprised myself. It is surely a wonderful thing that a simple smart dress or outfit can induce such a change to ones’ psyche and reveal the true inner self. Body language, walking and talking, sitting, etc. … even table manners and every simple tiny mannerism seems to become acutely refined and honed.
I don’t care for the sex. If I don’t have it, I don’t miss it …much !! -
where you are only comes with time
you can start to see the real you a little scary at first and a little lost to
like you said you become carmer and at peace with in and you start to dresses for you and you start to grow into the real you.
its like your neutral you feel your not male or female the word going around is intersex
try and not over think it just go with the flow make new girlfriends and see where life takes you
you will be supprised where you go
salleyj
