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Films can provide good lessons on life.
I have just watched several movies that I was kindly sent by TR members and though I enjoyed them I have been thinking that two of them are valuable lessons on how NOT to transition in Society. The film ” A girl like me” about the sad true story of Gwen , is an especially good example and should be watched by any TG person as how not to behave.
While I am sympathetic to her drives , the way she turned up at school in lipstick and put herself in dangerous situations that eventually led to her brutal murder was just plain self destructive.
It reminded me of the story of Teena Brandon who was also murdered while in dangerous company. The film ” Boys don’t cry” had me feeling a sense of dread about the way she lived on a knifes edge and eventually fell into a situation that led to her death.
What I am saying is that self defense begins with a healthy self respect and a cautious evaluation of the results of our actions. Living dangerously is fine if you can see the dangers but blind risk taking is just stupid. We saw recently that young TG folk can do things like looking in peoples windows while dressed as schoolgirls for example, and this could have led to an assault or worse.I used to run self defense classes for women and have heard women say why should I leave a pub for example , if a guy is acting scary and I feel I might be in danger? The answer is that it is YOUR safety that you are responsible for and can do something about , not his actions. That sense of self-preservation is the basis of good self defense, not a good punch.
We can shout about rights as loud as we like but in the wrong place at the wrong time, rights mean nothing.
Has anyone who has seen stories like this felt a similar thing and have an opinion on this? -
3 Replies
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I haven’t seen the movies but I wholeheartedly agree with the thrust of your post. While we may indeed have the right to live in a world free from prejudice and harassment, the fact is that we don’t live in such a world. I go out quite a bit these days but am always circumspect as to exactly when and where. Even with this caution I came within an inch of being assaulted a couple of weeks ago, even though I was inside a pub with a TG friendly background.
Feminists get agro when girls who have been raped are accused of having asked for it because they were wearing revealing clothes in a dark alley at 3am or the like. Well they should be able to, but they can’t. We should be able to do all manner of things anywhere we like. But to do so could mean we are asking to be assaulted, or raped or worse. We would be asking for it, even though it’s the last thing we want.
I get by knowing that things are better than they were and that by getting out and about sensibly, and behaving well ourselves, we make the future better for our daughters and sons. (Hope I’m not sounding like a philosophical w**ker)
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not sure which films you are referring to, christina (apart from “a girl like me” and “boys don’t cry”), but i would echo yours and felicity’s sentiments abo0ut having a good sense of safety. and yes, “boys don’t cry” is a pretty moving film, and very applicable to the mtf community too.
when i was a kid with transgender tendencies, i learned martial arts and later on in life, i learned that they are next to useless compared to (a) staying away from danger, and (b) a brisk/fast walk or (c) running, if necessary.
actually, in urban situations, i find going into a shop or other place populated with people seems to diffuse the danger somewhat. also seeking a place with bouncers is a good idea too. bouncers generally don’t like trouble and more likely try to keep aggressive people calm/at bay or they are more likely to place their attention on aggressive/intoxicated people over meek and mild trans people.
and felicity, if that is philosophical wanking, bring on the dildos!
back to the film thread. not sure if i have seen too many trangender films about living on the edge and in dangerous situations. imho, we’re lucky to get any movie with transgender content!
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I guess younger people tend to take more risks – it’s that “i’m going to live forever” attitude that leads kids into all kinds of trouble. I totally agree with what everyone has said here – you have to assess every situation both before and during times out and about.
There is only one place I go out to at night dressed and that is because friends of mine own the place and I am good friends with the bouncer – no one is going to touch me in that place and if they do – well it would not be to their benefit. I have always felt relativly safe there amoungst good freinds.
But bad crap can happen at any time – no matter what – always a matter of keeping your eyes open. The world, unfortunatly, appears to be made up of a large amount of idiots who would rather act out than think.To keep with the film theme – just yesterday I picked up a documentary called “Paris is Burning”. I have seen it years ago – it’s about the “Drag Balls” that happened in New York in the 80’s but also shows the lives of some of the people living around that scene – not all drag queens also quite a few TG girls too. They all gathered into these sort of gangs/share houses they called “houses” which were names after various fashion icons – it’s the scene where vouging started (later to be ripped off by Madona). An amazing document about an amazing time and some great people – some of whom had very sad lives and others who simply lived as they wished without taking crap from anybody.
It always seems to me that any films on a transgenered theme are sad stories – are there any positive ones ?
