Gender and Sexuality, you thoughts please.

[Anonymous]

this is a tricky one girl! I’m a straight girl inside too, never ever worked it all out. my therepist says that its open and shut, she thinks of me with the female pronoun, she is lesbian, so I’m straight. others think i’m gay.

maybe its a question of labels tho. if you think of yourself as transexual, then i’d say ur definatley straight. if you think of your self as female, ditto. if you think ur just a crossdresser, then everyone else will percieve you as gay. I guess as we move out int the big wide world in transition, then people’s impressions of us will gradually change.
as for me, I kinda think of myself as Gender Queer at the moment, some parts of me are definitley girl, others just make people stop and look.
thats a fun space for me just now, but eventually I long to just dissolve invisibly into the normal world as female.

I have a b/f.. hes nice, he’s hot, he’s an underground miner. I’ve known him all my life, he isnt gay, so I guess that must confirm me as a girl, huh? he’s a little younger than me, but cares very deeply. you just have to go out there and find someone you connect with, no magic recipe, that i know. i guess i’ve been lucky in this. I’ve always been out to him, and one day we just got to the point we were in a relationship. we have common interests, so we have lots that makes it work. one secret is not to think you need to change urself too much or be untrue to yourself I think. were both very interested in flying, r/c and GA, so u need to embrace the fact that it is a equal oppertunity world, girls fit into the hobbies you used to have, if that makes any sense. were lucky in that, we fit into a relationship lots better than Genetic Girls. more in common with the boys:) now all we need is to be beautiful, and we have it all! one way of looking at this anyway.

what does everyone else think?

hugs… me

[Wendy_2]

I believe that this is a complex issue, I love to be transformed and then enjoy the company of another trannie or a real girl.I suppose I think that I am lesbian. I have been with males, as I have been seduced, and enjoyed that but if I am the initiater then I will drift towards another trannie and seduce her.

[Anonymous]

Yes the initiating things are awkward, I hated it when I was married and when with guys I still seem to have to take the forward effort, it makes me sick and tired of it all, but I do like the intimacy. With women… hm thats tricky one, let me see, well it would work if she was a forward person, but I’m yet to meet such a woman! With another Transperson, I don’t know… it difficult to say other than we could very well be waiting for each other and never go anywhere! I guess that rally we are all just seeking emtional comfort, and it does not matter with whom so long as you can have and hold!

[Anonymous]

Hey Tiffany,

Well, by society norms/historical “labels”, if you are a genetic male, attrated to males (whether you are drsssed or not), then I would think most would regard you as being gay – or bi.

Similarly, if a CD is attracted to genetic girls, then by those standards, the CD is “straight: I suppose.

But, lables are lables. I really dont think it matters as much these days – most “lables” exist more in our own minds than in those of others/society I think. Its such a personal thing. I think it’s great that you identify as a female and are attracted to guys – you can join the huge list of genetic girls who complain about not being able to meet guys…..lol…..

Anyway, forget about the lables I say – and go with what is most comfortable for you. Probably easier said than done I know, but dont let lables get in the way of forming a good relationship or two…..!

Oh….and happy birthday too Tiffany……!

[Anonymous]

This a most interesting topic. I think the division of humanity, in terms of sexual orientation, into two categories gay or straight with perhaps a third sub-group bi. is a gross oversimplification. Many CDs describe how they have no interest in males when in male mode but may be interested when dressed. This gives rise to confusion; am I gay bi etc. The answer is to get past this idea that there are only two categories and accept there are many categories of sexual orientation and being transgendered is one of them. The pattern where CDs evolve and may eventually when en-femme be interested in guys is then understandable. I would like to make a final point; I think its great that we can discuss sexual issues here. For so many years discussing issues like this in CD circles was taboo.
Janet

d

[Anonymous]

Hi, this issue has puzzled me for a long time, but especially since I began dressing fully and more often (last 3 years or so).

I am one person with 2 quite different personas, one definitely male and one definitely female.

As a male I have no real interest in other males, I have no problem with any man who is homosexual, but am not interested myself, I am only attracted to women.

When I dress, however, I find that I am interested in men (in my head at least, I have never been in the company of a man when dressed, except at the Seahorse Ball!). I certainly fantasise about what it would be like with a man and happily play gender reversal with my SO.

So I feel that I am heterosexual whichever way I look at it. My body, however, is male; so if I made love with a man does that make me a homosexual or bisexual? Not to me it wouldn’t even if I used my “boy bits” too because I would be making love as Mel, not as my male persona (although he’s not so averse to going along for the ride these days! 😳 ).

If it happened I think I would prefer another CD, then we both have something in common and get the best of both worlds!

I wish you all much love, peace and joy

Mel

[Anonymous]

Each person has a unique view on the attraction views

As a male pre hormone I was straight and looked at women only. I also looked at women from the perpective of wishing I was female and do all the girly things and also release a capped bottle of emotions that males do not display in society. To cap a bottle of emotions can be stressfull to the body and can lead to medical problems in the future

In mid hormone stage I do not look to be with either gender. I will look at women and what they wear and how I can remodle my body to get those lovely legs etc
So before FF & SRS I will engauge various laser therapies to improve the face legs hands and some other parts that require attention to turn the clock back to 30yrs of age, 20 yrs younger.

The future : Post hormone and FF and SRS. Being physically complete, will trigger full mental confidence in my new female role . Even now I already have visions of what it would be like to have relations with a man [if he is tall enough]

Jane

[Anonymous]

Always a topic close to my heart . . sexuality !
. . . Melody has pretty much summed my own situation when she wrote :

Quote:

I am one person with 2 quite different personas, one definitely male and one definitely female.

But unlike Melody I am sexually active , as a gurl .
Dressing for the total femme transformation for only around 6 years now , I’ve found that the more my female persona became established so my sexual attraction to other gurls has gradually diminshed and although I still like to get together with other gurls , during the last 18 months I’ve been meeting up mainly with guys . . .
As for the question , am I bi or gay or whatever ? . . . well that’s not something I or my male alter ego ever bother to think about . . . . I mean , quite frankly sweetie . . . who gives a damn !

Kisses

Ronda

[Anonymous]

This has always been a confusing issue for me, I have never really been sexually interested in either men or women, although I use to lean towards women, mainly, I think, just as an act to hide myself, now that I am living full time, I am looking at both, although I am more interested sexually towards girls like us and have always been that way, so in away I suppose I am Bi Curious, as I have never been intimate with anyone, but someday I will do it, but I will only do it as a woman, either as a woman with a man or in a lesbian relationship with a woman, or with a another T-Girl.

Hugs

Sharon

[Anonymous]

well said muffin . you obviously have put heeps of thought into your statement ,hey its very confusing is it not . We all wil have different thoughts on the matter and i think you should all be congratulated for standing up and posting your thoughts . When i transform myself into Jacquie i take on all the actions and mannerisms of a girl [as best i can annyway , and hey i like to look as good as i can ,suddenly im totally in the persona of jacquie and i do immagine being noticed and appreciated by other people and told i look nice so i suppose im part bi as well . BUT hey when the clothes and makeup come off its all hetro for me ,untill im jacquie again so the only SURE thing i know is we do get confussed eh ,. But stand tall and be proud of who we are as i am of me ,,, Sorry i rambeled on . luv Jacquie Renee

[Anonymous]

I have very strong (published) views on this subject and I guess I’d be smarter if I kept them to myself. I believe we should remove ALL these labels. Often it’s what defines us which also divides us. All humans – all animals in fact – are just plain sexual and it is the conventions of society which cause us to need to label ourselves. Everything which goes before this here gives me strength. In the right conditions with agreeable partners almost anything is possible. I am perfectly comfortable being involved with male, female and anything in between so long as there is an attraction between us. Am I so rare?

Pip

[Anonymous]

Hello Pip,

I for one don’t think you’re rare…I once had a patient who was angry and upset about a situation concerning a sexual interferance of her 10-year-old daughter by the next door neighbour. I didn’t know what to advise, so I called a mate who is a psychologist and aked him what the go is in this kind of dilemma.

He explained that beneath the thin veneer of civilisation we all wear, we are sexually motivated to an enormous degree. The main reason we, as soft, slow defenceless creatures in a prehistoric world of carnivorous predators, survived was our fecundity (love that word!) and fertility. We had to be sexually motivated to compete.

And we still are, he maintains. Humans will use anything we can find to express our old impulses…men, women, animals, knotholes in trees, vegetables, etc etc.

And we as transgendered humans,, to whatever degree we can, will take the opportunity to make connections and sow our seed whenever and with whomever we can.

The times and situations we choose depend on our conditioning, and of course there are as many different styles of upbringing and lifestyles as there are humans.

So he says that there are no rules. No standards that make any sense. Not even the old golden rule. Trying to avoid harm to another certainly hasn’t stopped people from doing what they felt like doing in history.

What I’m trying to say is that you and I and every other person is doing the best we can under the conditiond we find ourselves in at the moment.

“I’m OK, you’re OK” And as you point out, what we feel attracted to is nobody’s business but our own.

Did all that make sense??

Love, Clare