Gender binary theory

[Adrian]

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A Sunday morning reflection.

A very worthwhile time for reflection! And welcome back to the forums!

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I have an opinion, which people may or may not agree with.

I don’t think I agree – but on the other hand I may well not have fully understood the opinion.

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However the vast majority of people in the world accept that it {binary gender} does exist without even thinking about it.

As someone who has explained the lack of binary options for gender to a lot of people I disagree. The general population I think has the view that two sexes exist (here I feel empathy with those who are biologically intersex either through birth or by surgical intervention). The general population has little concept of gender – but when it is explained to them as something different from sex they readily accept that it doesn’t have binary endpoints – after all most people can recognise someone they have met who has a binary sex but who isn’t a manly male or a feminine woman.

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Transgenedered people who transition to the opposite sex, by their transition are confirming that it {binary gender} does exist.

Are they? I thought they were confirming the ability of modern surgeons to make a good approximation of a change in sex by cosmetic surgery. Those who transition to the other sex are I think making a statement that they would feel more comfortable living their life with an alternative body image and conforming to a different set of societal norms. Gender dysphoria is clearly moderated by choosing a presentation closer to one’s gender whether by clothing, hormones or the surgeon’s knife.

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There are some transgendered people who do not transition to the opposite gender but feel more comfortable with an androgenous life.

I am comfortably androgenous, but don’t believe you can ever change your inner gender. Transitioning to the “opposite gender” is not something I’ve ever encountered. You can hide your gender by pretending…and HRT does perhaps nudge people slightly on the gender continuum… but I believe we are who we are.

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In my opinion these gender warriors….

HELP!!! Are we saying that everyone who is happy with a physical presentation that isn’t conforming to societal norms and biological expectations of conforming man or woman is a gender warrior?

Now I think I must have misunderstood something important…

If I am a warrior then my sin is perhaps to struggle to get people to distinguish between gender and sex. Because if we can’t clearly communicate if we are talking about what is between our legs, or what is in our head, then public acceptance for most gender diverse people will be a long time coming.

Personally I have no issues with the route anyone takes to reconcile their gender and sex, and I hope for the same in reverse.

We do have to acknowledge that those who elect for a binary gender/sex solution are a minority of those who display some characteristic of gender diversity. The experiences of the few are valid, but should not be allowed to devalue or depreciate the challenges the rest of us have finding a course outside the gender binary.

[Anonymous]

Thanks Amanda saved me a lot of typing.
I will add this though.

The concept of the gender binary that people like myself are posing a threat to is precisely what I just said a concept. The problem with this concept is the conclusion that people draw from it is that normal means gender is binary. What is then normal then deems that which is abnormal and thus excluding the abnormal is a natural reaction. One thing people are good at is reaction to that which doesn’t fit.

This then impacts on people who have a different gender expression and that can influence them to conform to the opposite to their established gender so they can be “normal”. That in essence forces a choice. For those who freely choose that’s fine but the conformity can be used to breed contempt for the non conforming and that should be put into the past sooner than later.

I believe that I should be able to be accepted for who I am and I am transgender that is neither male nor female specifically in the classic sence. My expression and hormone levels set me on the feminine side but my need for surgical intervention is non existent. I will not be bullied by society to conform I will be happy about myself and confident in declaration of being transgender. This is not a coment on the gender experience of others.

[Elizabeth]

An interesting theory indeed, a little over my head although I know where the author is coming from.

I guess I sit on the androgenous point on the spectrum. Am I comfortable on that androgenous point? not really, I’m androgenous because

Througth age and poor health I am unable to physically transition.

I’m androgenous because being married and intending to stay that way it helps to keep the peace with my SO. To physically transition would mean instant divorce, no home, no money and probably suicide by me.

So to say folk who are androgenous are quite happy is to my mind not necessarily true, I suppose like most things we’re all different.

[Adrian]

Liz,

I’m not sure how your discussion about your androgyny
reflects on gender binaries. So to avoid us wandering away from what I
think is an important topic perhaps I can link it more strongly back to
the original post.

Presentation is just another dimension of the space in which we have to position our lives. We have introduced sex (reproductive state), and gender (head state) in this thread already. Presentation (how we appear) is just another choice we make. Many of the labels we use to describe ourselves refer to presentation –
crossdressing is the way we appear, androgenous is the way we appear,
and even a sex change is a decision about the way we appear.

If sex, gender, and presentation are in close alignment then you confirm closely
to societal norms of a manly male or womanly female. Most of the world
is happily like that, but it is not our lot.

For the gender diverse at least one dimension will initially be “wrong” and result in varying degrees of discomfort. The challenge we face is that sex can be tinkered
with but never fully changed, gender is in our heads and (I assert)
cannot be altered, which just leaves most of us with presentation. We
experiment with reducing our discomfort by changing the way we present.
If societal constraints prevent us from making the adjustments then we
become depressed and prone to mental illnesses.

One thing is clear. Gender dysphoria (or whatever word you want to use for the discomfort) does significantly reduce if your presentation aligns closer with your
inner true gender. It is as simple as “you are to others what you feel
inside”.

So where does the idea that there are only two genders (the
gender binary concept) come into this?

If we assert that only two genders are “normal” – male and female – then we simplify the choices people can take. Of course, if someone has male sex but a female gender
then they will be happier if they change sex presentation to match mind
state, and visa versa. But observation tells us that for many this
simplification just moves them between one unhappy state to another –
maybe a critically unhappy state that results in suicide.

As Kristyana said, there is nothing wrong with electing to change your sex
presentation to match your gender if your gender truly is close to male
or female. But if we allow the concept of a gender binary, and anything
other than the male or female is “abnormal”, then we encourage people to
make less than optimal choices based on conforming, rather than on
aligning their gender and presentation.

I feel very strongly that the action of denying others an achievable path to happiness is almost criminal. The reality of my life and others I know is that gender isn’t
fluid, and it isn’t constrained to the “true woman”/”true man” dichotomy
of a gender binary. Over many years, the only people I have heard
proposing that we are all men or women at heart are those who have
committed to, or have undertaken sex change surgery. Maybe it is a
necessary belief state to be comfortable with the momentous life
decisions they have taken. I have no need to challenge their beliefs if
that would impact on their happiness. Once again, I just look for the
same empathy in reverse.

When I said that I was comfortably androgynous I was not just referring to my presentation – I was making a statement that I feel I have a happy alignment between my gender (something that I have no label for) and my presentation (fluid but
often androgynous). That of course is not the same as asserting that
everyone who presents in a certain way (androgynous) is happy.

Being happy is an elusive end point in our gender diverse wanderings – so
let’s not put conceptual obstacles like the “gender binary” in the way.