Get real stop living in a fantasy world

[Anonymous]

Well Steff ,

I dont think the issue is that all us girls should have to dress to talk girlly online, but I surely find it helps me to express my femininity ( what little or lot I may have ) and I think being dressed helps me when Im working at home and I need to put things in order – like doing filing .arranging my desk , clearing my mess in my kitchen, living room or office .Why ? probably becuase girls like me were taught that it was ok to be messy as I was male .Being a baby booomer I was conditioned to feel that girls were neater much neater than boys and it takes a lot to overcome this sort of conditioning … If dressing helps, so what ?
Ive seen so many girls write about how more relaxed, more sensitive ,more sensual and expressive they are when dressed and in fact some Ive seen writing have said that their partners appreciated the change in them when dressed as they were so much more sensitive to womens issues when so …
SUzz

[Anonymous]

i really think that ebing a Cd, TS , Tg or what ever is like being a comedian/actor – some do it best with props , some dont need props
Please think of girls like me as needing props …
Also If you dont need to dress to feal really feminine thats fine but why bother dressing all that much ?
Just a thought , Im not saying you should or shouldnt…
Hugs
SUzz

[Anonymous]

Hey,
I’m not saying that being tg /ts cd/ or similar is acting out a role Im saying its like being an actor, in that some of us like, or need the dresses, the make up, th shoes etc to bring out the girl we have inside .Others probably dont need such things to be female .Still others need just a bit perhaps …hence the referenc to ” props” .Im just making an anology
The point i was making ( I hope ) is that there is such a difference in feelings amonst th tg /ts /cd or similar with respect to how much female trappings each needs or wants to express themselves
Thats all Im on about
Hugs
SUZZ

[Anonymous]

Quote:

Hey,
I’m not saying that being tg /ts cd/ or similar is acting out a role Im saying its like being an actor, in that some of us like, or need the dresses, the make up, th shoes etc to bring out the girl we have inside .Others probably dont need such things to be female .Still others need just a bit perhaps …hence the referenc to ” props” .Im just making an anology
The point i was making ( I hope ) is that there is such a difference in feelings amonst th tg /ts /cd or similar with respect to how much female trappings each needs or wants to express themselves
Thats all Im on about
Hugs
SUZZ

As a person that is considered to be goth by most people, I don’t need to wear a corset, lace and chunky heels to feel goth. True when I go out to Sin or other dark alternative clubs you will most likely find me dressed like that, but day to day I dress like most ordinary people, all be it with a lot more black in the wardrobe. The way I dress doesn’t affect the way I feel about the world. I still have the same thoughts and views.

In the goth scene I find a lot of the people you see out and about dressed in studs, chains and NIN tshirts are usually the ones that fade from the scene very quickly and drop the gothic culture. For them being gothic is about the props not about a belief in the way of life.

Similarly, as a TS, you are overwhelmingly more likely to find me at home wearing old track pants and a tshirt than suspenders stockings short skirt and heels. The trappings don’t make me feel any more or less female.

Like the goth culture, I find that the more you rely on the props the less you truly feel for who you are. Just as being gothic isn’t about wearing a NIN tshirt, being female isn’t about the props. As Jade said, and this can be applied to every area of your life, it is more about the contents of your core being.

Cathii

[Anonymous]

I have just discovered this subject while looking for a suitable place to post a topic.

I have to agree with Cathii, if you feel feminine inside then you really don’t need to express that in a physical sense. I was looking for a forum to ask how people my age addressed their individual needs to crossdress or transition or in my case get themselves stuck somewhere in the middle.

I am in my early 60’s and it has only been over the last few years that I have let my inner self take over part of my life.

I have come out to my wife with some success, and greatly increased my wardrobe as a result. I do not feel confident about coming out to anyone else at the moment, as I work in a very masculine industry and life would be very uncomfortable if I went down that path.Although this uncomfortable feeling may only be in my mind, it stems from growing up in a time that saw many gender and gay diverse people bashed and ostracised for their lifestyle choices so I have been firmly in the closet most of my life. I will add though that I have recently had both ears pierced and have had absolutely no comments at all, and I always wear clear nail polish.

Having said all this though I have always felt feminine and always will, I don’t need props to know who or what I am. I will say however that lounging around the house in a pair of women’s jeans and a t shirt is much more rewarding than wearing my drab clothes. I don’t need make-up or high heels and hose although they are desirable and are lurking in my closet waiting for a day to come out.

I have not officially gone out in fem form yet, although I often go out in stealth mode. I have also not pursued transition either, except for a discussion with my doctor on the pro’s and cons of hormones etc. I have some health concerns, nothing life threatening but enough to not want the added risks associated with therapy at this time.

I guess getting to the core of my original intended post is, how do you handle your gender diversity, when you cannot display your preferred choice of Gender role. Whether by health, life issues (family etc) or are you isolated and lacking in real physical support, whatever, how do handle the life nature has given you.

Hugs Pamela!

[Anonymous]

I think waking up to yourself is always going to be the question who am I what am I, Why am I doing this to myself. Why do I not have kids and live a normal hum drum life like everyone else?

If that does not answer any questions right there then nothing else will. We are not part of the sheep, keeping in time and step like good robots.
I do not spend my weekends with muscle cars, or care much about football what ever the game is?
I dress to feel and find out as to what more is to me. Sure I am alone, But at least I am alive and myself. I could still have the wife and kids and still feel empty inside myself. At least I made sure no one had to suffer because I wanted to be more than what life expects of me , I cook and clean and have things my way and yes sure I even have cartoons to watch!

[Anonymous]

Hi,

Pamela,

As a female / woman , in how im wired in what i am & in being who i am.

being intersexed does give you a difference that many here do not understand ,

my many friends here where i live in Waimate, know accept with out ? what i am. the same as they are women. born female,

I dont need to ? my self i never did or needed to because i knew from age 10 what i was, as to props undress me youll still see a woman granted i dont have my womb , yet some of us who are intersex dont ether, our hormones are different in how they operate in us, our xx & xys can be any where on the spectrum fact is they dont control who we are or what we are,

Some one said about being feminine well im not as far as i can see yet my peers say different there are things about my self that say i am. so its not allways what i think i see, its really whats going on inside of myself .

Being a female / woman is very different in every way from one who is a male .

i dont know what its like being male in the true sence or as we’d say a true blue male. yet there is a part of my makeup that does say there is some male there, & to be hoinist i dought id be here now with out that part of who i am so in many ways im very thankfull for that part.

Today im just a woman who is normal accepted in socity & by those around me

I allso think & belive being hoinist with our self’s will in the long run be the most helpfull for our sanity & well being,

…noeleena…