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Going out in public for the first time.
I want to go out in public for the first time as Tiggy, Nettie will come with me. (Nettie is my wife)
Do we go to a shopping centre or a quiet place like a park or something.
Where do you think would be the best place to go on a first time out? -
15 Replies
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Hi Tiggy, i think the best place would be a large shopping mall, one that is across the other side of town or one you don’t normally go to. That way you may not bump into friends or family. Also go when its very busy like a Saturday morning when its crowded. Good luck……i think your so brave, i wish i had your confidence. Bronwyn
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Hi Tiggy, I think that Bronywn’s suggestion has a lot of merit. Times when it’s too busy and crowded for people to care usually work really well.
For those who would prefer a quieter approach, going out for a meal to a place that you know will be friendly is a good alternative (a phone call beforehand to explain what you are planning and to check with them whether you are indeed welcome before you book is always worthwhile).
Best wishes, Tanya
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Hi Tiggy. The only advice that I will offer to you is to not head into the “dark side” of town for your first outing, that way you won’t be looking over your shoulder all of the time. The other piece of advice is be positive and hold your head up high. Yes you will be nervous I expect but if you keep looking around and so on then people will sense that nervousness and it will make them look a bit more. Focus on where you want to go and don’t look around to see if anyone is staring because they will if you do. If you are positive with your actions and dressed sensibly, I don’t expect that you will have a problem anywhere really but yeah, a small initial step at first helps though.
Peta A.
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tiggy , there are trans friendly places you can goo !! restauraunt nights for trans girls ..or just meeting place for cross dressers .. Very Safe and good for a first time out !!!
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I’d also suggest a shopping centre but I’d strongly recommend somewhere that you know. Somewhere that you’re not going to draw attention by being lost.
Much as having your wife along might seem helpful, it actually increases the risk of being recognised. If someone who knows both of you recognises her, they’ll probably then look at you and recognise you too. If you are going to go out together, you want to be fairly sure that you’re not going to run into someone you know.
Personally, I go to the same shopping centres as I go to in boy mode, sometimes on the same day.
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I think a quiet, safe restaurant would be a good move. These days most waiting staff are good and you receive a degree of privacy. All the best wishes when you go out
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Tiggy, shopping centres are made for women. Your mode of operation should simply be being a woman in a woman’s world. Try to do the whole thing by driving into the car park, taking the parking ticket from the machine then proceed with confidence and style towards and into the centre without hesitation. Watch women near you and copy their styles, especially the way they walk and hand movements. Have a purpose such as visiting a shop on the top floor so you look active and not lost. At any time you have doubts just smile. Society loves a happy woman. Success breeds success. Go girl…
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Hi i agree with the others on shopping centers and as a regular shopper going out femme i can honestly say i also get nervous but it does pass, a word of caution though try not to wear heels…those shopping center floors can be slippery.
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Hi Tiggy
Only you will know where you are happy to go out for the first time. When I started I did not know of any resource to help and I did get myself into trouble. The girls suggestions here all very good, but coffee club in Brissy would be a great start. You will get to meet others and you will be safe.
Shopping centres are great once you have got the nerves fixed as you will draw attention to your self if you are showing any nerves. The best thing I can remember is my first time in a dress shop and I was asked if I wanted to try it on. No better feeling than been treated as a woman and accepted.
The girls are right and you need to set an objective and go and do it, then you are not standing there worred about what to do next. Remember you can use the disabled toilets if you are unsure, but most females are fine. I was only asked once and I explained that I would be raped if I used the male toilet and they suggested I continue to use the felame one. (shock works sometimes)
99% of shops just want your money and dont care, just watch your voice as it is normally the biggest give away. Follow the suggestions by the others girls here, they have all done this before too.
xxx
Kelly Jones
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hi tiggy
if you are thinking about debuting at a shopping centre or mall, i would suggest that you think about dressing down. you may want to do a dry run and check out the mall in boy mode the weekend or some time before to see what the ordinary shopper wears. that will give you an idea as to what you should wear if you want to blend in and not create too much interest in your presence.
here are some tips from diva las vegas – an informal gathering of trans girls held every year:
About Malls …
There are two kinds of people who hang out in groups at malls, those being teenyboppers and t-girls.
No, you and your friends are not gonna pass for 16! No, the Pope is not Jewish.
If you observe women shopping in malls, you will find that they frequently shop alone, occasionally in pairs, often with kids, sometimes with spouse or SO, but almost never in groups.
With rare exception, casual to very casual dress is what women wear to the mall. Heels are seldom worn to the mall. A recent visual survey in a mainline mall and a Target store showed that about 50% of women shoppers were wearing athletic shoes of some type, and less than 5% of all women of all ages and sizes were wearing heels of any significant height. Of those who were over 30, over 130, or over 5’8 or so, the number wearing heels was so small as to be essentially zero.
No, the “office girl on her lunch break” look is not gonna work for most people. No, the “bridesmaid on the way to the reception” look probably won’t work either.
Yes, I know, this is not what many of you want to hear.
good luck with it. it only gets better from there …
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Tiggy, have a good read of Virginias’ posting, it is a very good one at that. Yes I do agree, it is nice to get out in heels and flash clothes but it’s not normal everyday life, the thing that you need to be aware of is that you will want to dress up to the nines most likely and depending on when and where you are then you will stand out. Talk to Nettie, she should be able to help you with that side of things, especially if she is coming with you too.
Just a small note for anyone else who has a read of this thread, check out what Virginia has said because it is really sensible advice. If you are living fulltime etc. then you would most likely know it already but for anyone “starting out”……
Peta A.
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On Saturday morning a girl friend was kind enough to go shopping with me at Southlands (Melb) for the DJ sales. I spent 3 + hrs out in the public gaze, in a short skirt, boots & red top. It was simply the most wonderful three hrs I can recall. Bought a coat, jacket, two pairs slacks, had a manicure & two coffees without even a sideways look. Cannot wait to next time. Fem is GREAT
Ann_6
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As a fan of probability, I must add to a previous post. If your shopping partner is your wife, you more than double the chances of meeting someone you know. Because of this, the pair of you must find somewhere far far from home and hopefully some place none of your friends are likely to be.
There is still a chance, of course, but limiting the chance is imperative. This is the main reason my SO won’t shop with me; me being “discovered” is bad enough but being discovered with her in tow would totally devastate her. I therefore advise caution but keep in mind that I am a total scaredey-cat who has yet to front the world en femme.
Wimpy girl.
Julie
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So Tiggy, it’s been a bit over two months now since your first post in this thread and yes we’re all waiting with bated breath! How did you go and what happened?
Peta A.
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Hi Tiggy
I too am keen to know how you went. As someone who only recently went out for the first time I found it easiest to go out with another T Girl. Go to a place you know is broad minded and easy going. Somewhere where the people who go there are not mainstream but who are liberally minded.
My first time went great. I thoroughly enjoyed it. From there I went out dancing with two other girls that they recomended. And then I went out by myself with TG friendly GG’s and their partners. It has all been very positive. Not to say that I didnt have some nervy moments (like going to the bar alone for a drink – but as has been suggested holding your head high and at least pretending to be very confident works for me.
I also agree that wearing low heels is good as is dressing appropriately for the occasion. Ask your Gg friends what they will be wearing. You will be less likely to be recognised without your wife along. Save that for when you are have the confidence of previous forays as above.
I thoroughly recomend the experience. Now I cant wait for my next night out. But as has been suggested keep away from darker areas and try to gowith someone else or directly from car to venue nearby.
Its exciting so enjoy!! Great to see so many posts by the way. Theres so much experience on this site and I’v learnt a lot from others experiences.
Love Roisin.[img][/img]
