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Growing old gracefully as a CD.
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Thanks for your comments Bridgette Anise,
That post is now over a year old and I can assure you much water has passed under Caty’s “bridge of life” since then. Whilst still very much in my closet, it is a rather big one and I’m content to dress in that space as and when the opportunity arises. I’ve also aquired a much larger wardrobe since that post and yes, now and again I think it would be nice to wear some of it in public. Transformal next year would be nice..But to get there would cost me much, much, more in my “non Caty life” than I am prepared to contemplate.
In terms of what happens if and when I get to the retirement village stage, the vastly expanded wardrobe and other CD goodies, (eg attachable breast forms) has me at the stage where I intend to and actively enjoy, what I can whilst I live where I do.
I’ll worry about Caty’s aged care future when I get there.
Happy dressing
Caty
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I had to think very carefully about a reply to this thread. I suppose growing old gracefully means accepting who we are at any given time in life, warts an’ all. Sounds easy doesn’t it? I think it depends on the individual and how they see themselves, and how the ageing body is coping with all the stresses imposed by age related diseases and how it affects our mobility. Ageing is a fact of life, and non of us escape. What was the old maxim, ‘ Go like hell and burn out as opposed to rusting out’
My experience tells me you get out of life what you put into it. That usually means your interaction with others and what you have done for them. The more you give, the more you recieve in return. Thats what ageing gracefully is about.
We no longer wear killer heels, our feet no longer allow it. Hemlines are required to be below the knee; the older you are, the lower the hem. (I’m down to the ankles). We battle numerous diseases (with the help of the medical profession). Our skin droops; if you have boobs they’ll be driving south. Varicose veins play hell with aching legs. Showering can be tiring, and pulling on pantyhose almost an impossibilty. Ones failing eyesight plays havoc when trying to apply makeup. And so the list goes on and on.In the final analysis I know it’s to look back on one’s life and say with pride ‘I did my best at the time and I wouldn’t change thing’. That’s being graceful.
To cap it off take a lead from April Ashley, 77 years of age, looks smart, walks with aid of a stick. Britains first ‘sex change reciprient’ sic. April became a Vogue model, actress, travelled the world. Most of her life was spent advocating for the transgender community, writing thousands of letters to the appropriate people, and public speaking. April has been awarded the MBE, presented by Prince Charles for her work with the transgendered community. A lady of grace, an inspiration to us all. I remember her as a stunning looking young woman in about 1960. I aspired to be like her. I didn’t make it. Forget ‘Wrinkley Villas’ only 5% of folk use them.
Look at http://www.BBC. co.uk
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WIth dress sense and age I see no reason to dress my age as dressing for me is a matter of enjoying what I ve largely missed out on all these years .I dont pass on the street so why dress for my age ?
Having grown old and being forced into semi retirement via lack of work I can agree with the sentiments expressed .I find I have a lot of time free so I woiuld welcome a chance to meet an d greet others . I know I havent attended many tgr events but it takes time .I live on my own in a rather large house and would like to have some girls visit here, then visit them .So pls contact me if you wish to do something like this
hugs
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I like the sound of growing old gracefully, but the reality is most of us don’t. My wife works in a nursing home and I can assure you there are a lot of very eccentric people living in those places, so I wouldn’t worry too much about gliding around the corridors in a dress, noone would give you a second glance.
Dressing for me now in my 60’s is composed mostly of normal everyday type clothes, but not necessarily for my age. I’d love to be 20 again and wear a mini skirt, but that will never happen. If your legs look like a road map just wear darker stockings, and midriff bulges can be disguised with looser clothes.
Unless you want to go Goth or Emo or some other fringe group, you can find nice clothes to suit any body type in almost any style, so being “graceful” and old may be possible for most if not all of us.
I’m growing older day by day but I’m probably far from graceful, but who really cares anyway.
Hugs Pamela!
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I’ve held off posting in this thread as I don’t believe I have the seniority required, I still have 20 years ahead of me before ‘officially’ retiring. I guess that means I can still wear wide belts as skirts & personal elevation devices on my feet. So what if I struggle to drive the truck & tractor in my office uniform! 😉
Seriously though, I don’t know if I can offer anything constructive here but I will try.It’s often said that ‘when we come face to face with our own mortality, we tend to make different choices for the future’.
When I was 25 I attempted suicide. After recovering from deep depression & the physical (& financial) consequences of that action, I at some point decided that if I was going to hang around for another chapter, then I’d better make it a worthwhile one. One of the things I resolved to do was (try) not to allow others views to dictate my life. I am not always successful at this but inevitably I get back on track.
My father was a real ‘deep’ guy & was for ever offering bits of wisdom (in his opinion anyway). As a teenager, one of the things he used to remind me of was “in the end, it doesn’t matter anyway”. As a teen I thought that view was a negative cop out. As I’ve aged I’ve come to see it in a different light.
What he really meant was, we don’t control the outcome anyway & we all end up a long time dead…so live your life now without regret.
Whether or not I am graceful is a determination made by others, whether or not I have regrets is determined by my actions. I could step out onto the street & be hit by a London bus & so all my plans are for nought anyway.
Just live. -
Chloe sums everything up by saying it doesn’t really matter anyway, we’re a long time dead. Of course Chloe is absolutely right, however, it’s not what others think that counts, it’s what we think of ourselves in the final analysis. I shed an inner tear when Chloe divulged her onetime suicide attempt when she was younger. I often wonder the percentage of us women and girls who have been down that self same path. As we approach very old age and the likelyhood of a near death, it does make us stop and think, it most certainly does me. Not ashamed of a suicide attempt (a few) in reality, I think it goes with the territory. Chloe, you sound ok to me. To be hit by a London bus, I think you’ll need to be in London. Travel well.
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Having now officially retired (since March this year anyway) I suppose I’ve slipped into that ‘older’ category. Certainly the ‘Jane’ of today is very much different to the one of twenty years ago. Back then I was so deep in my closet that I had to leave a trail of breadcrumbs to find my way back out. Exposure back then would have meant loss of employment, alienation by most of those close to me and maybe even the end of my marriage.
It was those factors, coupled with my self-loathing and shame, that saw me sitting nursing a loaded firearm trying to decide if I should, or could, pull the trigger. Finally I decided that, because of the location that I was in, my corpse would likely be found by a complete stranger and that I had no right to inflict that on someone else. I unloaded the weapon and drove home but that drive was filled with even greater self disgust because now I’d added coward to my list of failings.
The recovery from that position was slow but thankfully successful. I had a couple of relapses, including one when a special friend saved my life by her words, but I survived and finally accepted who I am. I preserved my secret a while longer before I reached a point where I had to tell my wife. From there I consider myself one of those blessed with an understanding and empathetic partner. She has accepted who I am and has embraced the idea. She is supportive and encouraging and together we are now making the most of our remaining years. We travel frequently and Jane always goes too. The opportunity to ‘dress’ doesn’t always present but when it does it is something we can share.
I’m not sure how much grace is involved; I’m probably as far from graceful as you can imagine but discretion has replaced secrecy, a wardrobe in our bedroom has replaced a hiding place in the garage and my wife delights in comments and jokes about what a big girl I can be at times. All in all growing old doesn’t seem so scary anymore.
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I’m wondering if it might be worth continuing the current trend of finding out what we all want.
Does anyone have any opinions on a new thread asking ‘what do we think our needs as Gender diverse people will be as we age & retire?’
If we can all get involved in this idea of working out what our combined needs are, it will more clearly indicate to greater society that we are a community with needs & aspirations like all people.Do we start a new thread?
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i guess i have all three grumpy,old and retired but deep down still grumpy
lol
