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Has anyone else really struggled with their fem. look ????
I’ll probably “goose” myself out with this, but it’s worrying me, so here goes :
Has anyone else, especially those with a non supportive partner, really struggled to find their feminine look – wig, makeup, style of clothes, etc. There are so many pics of gorgeous girls here on TR that I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever get it together.
Finding time when you have non supportive partner, kids, domestic responsibilities, full time (+ more) work, etc, means that finding time to “expirement” to find that look is very, very hard – and fustrating. Not to mention finding the $ involved which is money that should be going elsewhere if I was less selfish, I suppose (guilt tripping here).
So, any suggestions from those who have been there and done that before ? I know there is no magic wand/solution, but you never know…….
Thanks for listening…….
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10 Replies
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Hi, Christine, I think that we all look at the photos here and think I can never look as good as her, Well we all trying be be our fem self some don’t have to work to get the look,while others take time to get the look and in time you will be happy with your femmine look.
This can be hard with a non supportive partner, but with time you will find the clothes that fit you and you will lean how to walk and talk like a GG and then you will be what you wish to be….Susan hugsxxxxxxx
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Christine, go down to the local shops. Find a comfy chair and look at the women passing by. Note how many of them are gorgeous, and how many of them are not. Strangely, the vast majority fall into the middle category, neither gorgeous nor plain. That’s where you need to aim, in that middle group. Admire and envy those CDs that can do Nicole Kidman, but when you consider the number of women who are over weight, have unfortunate shapes, didn’t quite choose the right combination of clothes this morning, aren’t as flash with the makeup as a professional, etc, it’s not hard to drop your sights a tad.
I use the ‘rover’ test. If I come out of the bathroom, and the dog doesn’t go for his life, I’m doing okay
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I empathise with you very much Christine.
The biggest problem that I face is not looking male. I have quite deep set eyes and larger than normal nose, and the twice that I have paid for make-up to be done, I have not been very happy with the result. Whilst I would love to be able to look like Nicole Kidamn, I realise that will never happen. I’d be happy just to look like any ‘plain’ woman.
I have found a local lady that is going to do my makeup, eyelashes, wig styling and nails next month (for just $50). For some reason I feel optomistic that she will achieve a better result than I have experienced interstate, at much higher prices!
I might finally get a photo that I can put on my profile.
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Hi Christine
I know exactly what you’re going through. I tell myself that when I dress I feel great no matter what I look like or whether my partner knows or not. Who knows what the future will hold for me so I just live for the moment and enjoy the feeling.
I will never look like a model (not without some serious DNA mods), so I aim for the middle of the road like others have mentioned.
Like my old boss used to say: You can’t make a silk purse out of a sows ear…I think your photo’s have come out well and you shouldn’t be ashamed of spening a little on yourself. You probably had a great time doing it. Maybe one day your partner will know…maybe not. Either way you have enjoyed some wonderful moments.
Hugs Aleisha…x0x
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Hi Christine
Hey, your photos are great..if I saw you in the shopping centre I certainly wouldn’t say ” wow..look at the bloke in a dress”. Believe me, I have seen tons of woman (yes, real woman) in shopping centres and on the street and have thought to myself “put her in a pair of pants and a t-shirt and she would pass easily as a bloke”.
You have got nothing to worry about. The secret that a lot of crossdressers seem to ignore is dress your age and dress for the occasion. If you wander into a mall in a cocktail dress, 5″ heels and overdone makeup with huge false eyelashes then people will immediately think you are a drag-queen on her way to a show.
Your styles and presentation are perfect in your photos so don’t worry about looking like a model..you already look like Christine!! and you can’t get better than that.
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I have a very non supportive partner. In fact if my precarious marriage of 32 years fails I will put it down to an unsuccessful attempt to come out to my SO some 20 years ago, and a number of other things.
I am fortunate in that I have a relatively good job and can afford a “secret” life. My clothes are “hidden” in plain view and I have sufficient money and clothes to experiment and explore.
But for those of us that don’t have these things (and for those of us that do) I think that the best medicine is fellowship.
OK depending on circumstance it is not always achievable as a one on one personal contact. However, where there is a will, even once a year, there’s a way.
You should not be forced to feel that you are an outcast, no one should, you are a human being full of rich and free experience that deserves not only to be recognised but to be shared even with those people that you may feel are most unlikely.(I am not advocating go out and tell everyone. I am advocating that you don’t feel too much of a sinner)
Hugs
Letty -
there is some very good advice here concerning what is appropriate to wear.
as a guy who wants to wear fem clothes i struggle to find the look that suits my face and age and build. what wigs will suit my face?….what colours will suit my skin tone?….what make will suit?……just so much to think about. and no help from my lady freind. and being in an isolated part of the world in a small town is no help either. it all so very overwhelming. bronny -
another thing you can do, is find a make-up place, thats only if you have the money to spend on it, and be able to give a good excuse to where you are.
They will try all different styles on you, and different wigs, and makeup etc .. to try and find one that suits you the most.
I know it can cost a pretty penny, but you have then a place where you can be “transitioned” without having to worry about anyone coming home and finding yourself being caught in the act! so to speak .
Just an idea anyway …
But I do agree with what everyone else says here, you do need to just blend in a crowd, if you start thinking, are they looking at me? … can they read me? … it will be showing all over your face, hold your head up high, stick your boobs out, and walk nicely
Go to the local shops, in male mode if you like, and as said before, just sit down, and watch all the females… you will find that they very so much in the way they look .. try to spot people from you age group, look at what they are wearing, etc etc, and i think you will find youself fitting in quite fine!
Remember, people don’t go out to spot CD/TV/TS’s I think you will find that hardly anyone will notice, or care!!
good luck,.
Love, Anee ..
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Quote:there is some very good advice here concerning what is appropriate to wear.
If you can’t find the answer to something, choose the right forum and ask the question!
Quote:what colours will suit my skin tone?Hope this helps with this question at least:
viewtopic.php?p=2909#2909
Alice
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Quote:I’ll probably “goose” myself out with this, but it’s worrying me, so here goes :
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Christine we all have. It comes with practice and finding out what works for you and what doesn’t. If your partner is not supporive it takes more time but you will get there.
Gwen
