help please

[Anonymous]

Hi Abbie, Yes you should do it now. I left it till too late to tell my children.

[Anonymous]

Abbie,

The longer you leave it the harder it becomes. I would suggest you tell them as soon as you feel comfortable in yourself.

Hugs

Helen xxx

[Anonymous]

thanks ladies i feel i want to but every time i do i cant get the nerve any suggestions on how to

[Anonymous]

Hi Abbie,

I’m having the same dilemma, I have 3 boys 15, 13, and 11 and I have custody of them.

My ex and I have talked and think that the youngest would not be able to cope, so I am still not sure of what to do

Hannah

[Anonymous]

Hi Abbie, for what it’s worth, I went through this a lot of years ago, I never went through with it and I don’t regret it as I believe whatever guilt or stress I had was my stress and guilt and that wasn’t a reason to give them stress..
Can I ask is there a concrete reason to tell them? Are you thinking about going full time? Of course that is a different matter altogether.
Anyhow, good luck,
Helen
.

Quote:

i want to tell my children about abbie as i feel i am carrying a heap of guilt and think they need to know they are 14 and 15 is it a good idea or just me being self centred and selfish
Abbie
Xxx

[Anonymous]

Abbie,

I would have to fully agree with Helen. I did have the same problem many years ago and could find no reason why i should tell them when they were in their early teens. I was not going full time , and i only dressed and went out when they were not staying with me.

So everyone is different, if you tell them and if your kids reject the Abbie side of you, you may regret this if your kids dont wish to see you again.

Yes i have spoken to people that wished they hadnt told them, but also i knew a couple and the wife and kids comment was why didnt you tell us years ago.

I wish you luck

Judy

[Anonymous]

Hi Ladies, I can only answer for myself, I have 2 boys 12 & 14, I took it upon myself to tell them when they were 10 & 12 because I wanted to basically go fulltime, but I made a promise to my wife that I would only dress after they went to bed at 830 but then they were getting older and their bedtime went out to 9:(.

In short I am glad that I told them because as I feel now that children whilst due to their age may not understand the whole thing, they have no preconcieved ideas of what society expects, my eldest just said “cool” the youngest said”dad that’s pretty waked but its okay you be you”.

I have also seen the issue that leaving it so long until they are 18 and on there may be the fear of total rejection, for me I have my families support other than my wife who is no longer with me, so it has cost me, but only you will know what is the right thing to do.

I know this dosn’t help much as you would prefer us to say yes or no

Hugs

Stef

[Anonymous]

Well ladies thanks for your opinions and have had a great think ad i may leav it i just wanted to be able to dress whenever i wanted around the house but i do not want o push them away so i will stay in closet i feel.

thanks for all the comments
Abbie
xxx

[Anonymous]

Abbie,

I told my 2 boys 16 and 13 late last year as I wanted to start going out and was sick of creaping around the house late at night, I knew I would be found out sooner or later so thought I best get in first. I always believe that honesty is the best policy but on saying that I also thouht hard about whether there was any point and was it selfesh etc etc.

Well my wife supported me telling them as she has known for about 5 years. Anyway I had a couple of my favourite drinks, jacks on ice which eleviated any anxiety and told them. Actually alot like Stef’s kids reactions, oldest one said cool or something to that effect and the youngest one was a bit shocked but he seems alright about it. I guess at the end of the day your never going to know what there reaction is going to be but remember kids are pretty resilient and I agree with the longer you leave it the worse it’s going to be.

Just my opinion, remember Jacks and ice will help calm the nerves, old wives remedy for everything.lol.

Good luck

[Anonymous]

Hi Abbie,

Both my daughters were told about four years ago, when they were 16 and 12. they took it fairly well at the time, ecspecially the youngest, who became my biggest ally. It had come to a point where they had to be told, as the sneaking around and the lies you have to tell to explain absences. Constantly lying about your whereabouts does nothing for family morale, as the kids knew something was up.
I can know dress in front of them. They have seen me from one end of the transformation to the other, and it’s just me, I’m still dad. I will ask their opinion if something looks okay, to the point they a bit indifferent about it. Karen is referred to as in the third person. (eg Is Karen going out tonight? etc)
We didn’t know how to tackle it at the time, so my wife decided to be the teller. And know the fiance of the eldest knows, but has never met me dressed, although they work around me coming and going. I have come home when he’s asleep in the house.

So, it’s never going to be easy, BUT, I think it is easier when they are younger. Good Luck and God bless.

Love Karen.

[Anonymous]

well what a week certainly continues as today i have come out to my oldest son who does not mind, all he said was that is how you are and i am fine with that man it feels good so thanks to all you lovely ladies who have helped Abbie take another step forward on her journey it sure feels liberating

love
Abbie
xxx

[Anonymous]

i would just love to say to the lovely ladies on this sight thank you very much for your support and help when i ask a question without you i would never be able to get the courage to take a step further but as you will see in my profile i have started and now there is no stopping i love being abbie and its time the rest of the world either accept it or not as i dont care now who knows i love being abbie and thats all that matters.
love Abbie
xxxxxxxxxxx