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How to deal with someone who calls us out
Hi All,
Splinter groups who are vocal, will in general always try to force their values and opinions, some regretably, will resort to violence.
* I reciently reviewed youtube’s worlds youngest transgender girl. She looks extremely attractive and yet even she has been harrassed.
* Tall genetical women who tower at 200cms are harrassed as well
* Teyla from Stargate Atlantis was accused as a transgender at one stage
* Also look at racial hatred
* Look at fat people
* Look at anything out of what society precieves as normalWithout going on and on, what ever we do, like approaching policy makers and other instutions, we as transgenders will always be harrassed even if we get political/statutory approval.
Getting vindication to who we are, and getting policy approval will not change the masses, regretably.
So unfortunitely we are stuck with occasional harrassment. This keeps many crossdressers in the closetI also viewed a youtube video on tall girls in Amsterdam. My fathers heritage is Friesland Holland. The tallest girls in the world are from Holland and in particular Friesland where there are more very tall girls in the population. So if you are a very tall girl this area may have less discrimination as tall girls there are somewhat common.
What I would like to bring up, is what can we say in return to someone who calls us out. Something non-provoking that puts the discriminator in a situation where he or she has to think about what they said to you in relation to themselves. Obviously everyone has been acused of some kind of verbal hatred in their life. There will be a common social denominator, of the type of accusing.
Those who are innocent, cast the first stone.
What can we say?Jeorjette
Moderator
Quote:This posting was split from a thread discussing Transgender discrimination at an Illinois schoolAs far as I can see there is absolutely no connection with the original thread.
And even more frustrating for a time-poor moderator I can’t see how a post that finishes “what can we say?” was regarded as complying with the simple posting checklist we have added that specifically asks you NOT to post off topic questions.
With two out of three of the checklist questions not complied with I would have hoped that poster would have taken the strong hint from the website to start a new topic.
Please have a lot more respect for the moderators and READ the questions you are asked as you post in the moderated forums.
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6 Replies
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Jeorgette wrote;
What I would like to bring up, is what can we say in return to someone who calls us out. Something non-provoking that puts the discriminator in a situation where he or she has to think about what they said to you in relation to themselves. Obviously everyone has been acused of some kind of verbal hatred in their life. There will be a common social denominator, of the type of accusing.
Those who are innocent, cast the first stone.
What can we say?I read these words only a couple of days ago, apparently from a young Tg person;
‘Just because you don’t understand me doesn’t give you the right to judge me’.I also have a T-shirt that reads;
‘don’t judge me based on your ignorance’. (Same sentiment as the first message.)As a public Tg person I no longer wear that T-shirt. I mainly wore it when presenting in a bohemian or ‘arty’ way. It was a statement to draw more attention to myself & my beliefs. These days I don’t particularly want to draw more attention, so I find it better to approach people individually to address any negativity that they may display or indicate toward me. My message to them is still the same though.
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I fear that even through education and equal rights we will always have select members of the population that will ridicule what they don’t understand. Yes I can see merit in standing up for yourself and trying to make them understand, but I wonder how far that goes or what it will accomplish with those who have little understanding of human emotions or more-so they suffer from a lack of education. I’m content to know there is a supportive group around me and that gender identity is more widely known and supported in modern times.
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I have a simple policy for dealing with negative people. Just ignore them.
If somebody gives out a remark about my mode of dress, I just toss my curls, throw my shoulders back, and with head held high simply walk on.
To this day, I have never had anyone follow me for a challenge. Mind you, I’m 65 years old, and maybe I’ve just been lucky.Connie.
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I once had an experience in Windsor NSW when I was withdrawing money from an ATM as Helen. A young woman looked at me and said: “that’s a bloke!’. I didn’t know what to do or where to hide, so I just said nothing and walked to my car… I was a tad petrified, then, once my pulse rate had gone back to double figures I realised that I had probably done the right thing by saying nothing.
That happened over 15 years ago and if it happened again today I would do exactly the same with one exception, instead of hiding my face as I walked past I would look the person in the face and smile pleasantly and probably say hello. Them I’d walk off head held high with no loss of personal dignity.
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Hi Helen,
That is horrifing. I would probably do the same as you did. Where could you turn and how quickly.
How damaging this comment or any comment along any line can be. Ahhhh!!!
Having thought about your reply. For peace of mind I might play ignorant. Suggesting a option of not acknowledging it is you and pretend there is someone else there they are referring to, hopefully.
How damaging some mouths are.
I suppose this has stuck in your mind all this time and you are sill nursing the hurt.
Honestly it sent shiverers into me.
Lets hope that your regretable experience will be a very-very distant memory.
Jeorjette -
Jeorjette,
Thanks. At the time it made my heart race and I felt a bit embarrassed, but walked, rather than ran, to my car. I can’t say that the hurt lasted s it made me realise that even in semi dark as it was at the time there will be instances where I will be ‘read’ and there’s nothing I can do about it except retain my dignity.
The part that does make me a little fearful is if I ever encounter a group of ‘youths’ who want to take things that one step further, rather than just taunting they suddenly decide to get physical. That is where I would be scared and is also one of the reasons I try to stay in safe areas.
As I said in my original post the comments came about 15 years ago, I expect I’ll receive more as I go out on a more frequent basis and my credo is to ignore them, hold my head high and maybe even smile at the person and say hello.
Helen
