“If you refuse to accept LGBT people like me, expect consequences “

[Anonymous]

Hi Caty,

Reading this article earlier today with a glimmer of hope that it might highlight more LGBTI issues through mainstream media – even if only one person was made aware of the difficulty of not living as ‘binary’ or TG.

Although progress has been made (compared to 100 years ago) we still have a long way to go. Will society’s views with regards to understanding & acceptance have progressed 100 years from now?

I’d like to think so.

[Deleted User]

For what it’s worth the statistics on marriage equality show some pro headway is being made. The Australian Bureau of Statistics inform that 52% of Christians and 76% of coalition voters aren’t against it. Although 1 in 4 are strongly opposed. Which is to be expected, let’s face it, some will never change.

[Anonymous]

Pr
PROFILES
I keep trying to find member profiles on here with No luck – have they been deleted ?

[Deleted User]

Hi Suzzzyy2,
I just looked at the Members tab, at top of the page, if you click there and a members name you should find their profile. Hope this helps.

[Juliette]

The numbers are getting better Claire but the 1/4 are a real pain. They are the ones who go out of their way with throwing pies or stupid words on radio. Juliette

[Adrian]

Quote:

Although 1 in 4 are strongly opposed. Which is to be expected, let’s face it, some will never change.

Could we perhaps move away from this ill-founded negativity.

My take on the original article that it was one-sided and did not read like the transition story of a caring, sensitive, person. The mantra of “you can take me as I am or I’ll leave you” is I think very immature and as usual puts all the onus on others. If there are any problems that result from this sort of approach then they are I feel directly attributable to the attitude of the transgender person.

The idea that we as transgender people are perfect and sharing our diversity with others is a process of them accepting us as we are is naive. The reality of our transgender experience is that we all face mental challenges, be it depression, aggressiveness, or any other side effect of the stress we go through. To be accepted you have to address your gremlins within as well as the residual bigotry and lack of understanding of others.

As to the idea that 1 in 4 people are a pain throwing stupid words around about TRANSGENDER people. That isn’t a fact, and it serves only to justify the actions of those who can’t see how much Australian society has changed in the last 5 or so years.

The 1 in 4 figure pertains to same-sex marriage which is NOT the same as the number of people who cannot accept LGBTIQ…. people.

I have spent the long weekend with a house guest who is the wife of a Christian minister. She feels very strongly that same-sex marriage is wrong – though she is far too caring a person to throw pies. However she is totally supportive of me as a transgender person. You cannot equate the two issues.

Lets get our facts straight before we all retreat back into the closet in fear.

[Emma_Thorne]

We do, as a so-called “community” tend to bang on about this subject however it has always seemed to me to be a pretty pointless exercise. Akin to an atheist and a christian arguing about evolution vs creationism (THE most boring of debates as neither side can unequivocally prove their case) the percentages of who does/doesn’t is really subject to interpretation. If I were to poll 100 people walking out of the Wayside Chapel on a Sunday morning I would get one result which would be a completely different set of numbers than if I had conducted the same poll on a Saturday night in Oxford Street.

In my own humble view, I think most of mainstream Australia does not mind one way or another what we do in the same way that I have no interest whatsoever in the National Soccer League or what a knob like Andrew Bolt has to say. I mean I know he’s there and I know he can be noisy at times but other than that who cares what he says or does as he doesn’t have any impact on my life.
Generally, it has been my experience that the most frequent pie throwers lurk within our own ranks and whip themselves into a frenzy over terminology and a self imagined class structure that apparently is determined individually and not collectively.

I don’t care what your lifestyle situation is….just be happy and not afraid of monsters under the bed which as we know do not exist. Most of the monsters I’ve come across have been on top of the bed anyway xx

[Anonymous]

Hi all,

As the original “poster” of this topic I have of course followed the responses with much interest, not to mention the thoughts expressed behind same.

Seems to me that whilst yes, there is wider acceptance of trans people in the community, the original comments about losing friends and family, (backed up by the situation so many of us find ourselves if we “come out”) ,those in this thread who have taken the “damn the torpedoes” stance, have perhaps not considered this aspect as much as they should.

EG After almost three decade the first time around,of “maritial hell”, the last almost two of “relationship bliss” I have enjoyed with my current partner are just not worth risking by coming out to all and sundry. OK I’m just a mere CD and unlike the original person in this thread have no intention of transitioning, so its not as critical for me.

But for the rest of “me born days” I wont forget how I got the “silent no text messages treatment” from ‘er indoors the whole time I was in Katoomba for this years TF. Good “case study” anyone???

So as I said above, “one size does not fit all”, not only here but in so many aspects of life.

Any “further correspondence?”

Caty

[Adrian]

Caty wrote:

As the original “poster” of this topic I have of course followed the responses with much interest, not to mention the thoughts expressed behind same….those in this thread who have taken the “damn the torpedoes” stance, have perhaps not considered this aspect as much as they should.

As the moderator of the forum I am trying to keep this thread talking about the original article….WIMHO is an example of the most pointless confrontation and negativity associated with transitioning. The subject “If you refuse to accept LGBT people like me, expect consequences ” is the perfect summary of the “damn the torpedoes” stance.

But there is a sizeable middle ground that exists between standing defiantly and taunting Kim Jong-un to lob a missile / torpedo at you, and hiding in the back shed fearful that society’s attitudes haven’t advanced in the last 30 years. Articles like the one that started this thread are doing as much damage to our awareness of reality as are the posts of those who want to hide.

It would be great to see more stories in the media that are less extreme, less threatening, and more positive. But we all like reading too much about other’s misfortunes it seems.

[Emma_Thorne]

Hi Caty,
On the contrary, speaking only for myself here, I have certainly considered all those negatives you mentioned and having done so arrived quite happily at the “damn the torpedoes” stance. Your experiences are atypical and could be related by the vast majority of girls. The only disappointing things I find in your story thus far are that you consider yourself to be “just a mere CD” which suggests that you’ve already copped a self inflicted pie-in-the-face when in fact most switched on girls consider you a sister regardless of whether you transition or not (a common misconception of how many see themselves and examined much more eloquently by Adrian than I could ever give justice to in other threads) and that you feel slighted that your current partner would not respond to your text messages from Katoomba? Sounds a bit like a First World problem to me and not something I would hang on to….if your partner’s not-so-subtle rebuff of your once-off activity is the price you had to pay well it sounds pretty cheap to me and fair enough on her part. As much as we would all like to think so, it is not all about us.

Don’t get me wrong Caty I’m not having a go I’m just putting things in perspective. This discussion has been going on since the first Neanderthal man put on his wife’s loin cloth. You do not have to be mowing the lawns or changing the oil in the Commodore in heels and sequins, or easing in the subject that you like wearing short skirts when you are with the lads at the footy, but you do need to find your own level and reconcile to that in whatever way makes you happy because at the end of the day, as I often say, you need to be happy. There is NO premiership ladder in the TG Community regardless of what you might think.

Now if you are black, gay, and/or disabled, then you’ve got a lot to deal with. Our issues are small potatoes.

[Anonymous]

Hi Emma

Not “slighted” Emma more “scared” as in “once bitten” by my ex who hated me being Caty with a passion, than “twice shy” with my current beloved and loving partner.

Yeah, I’m just a “broken down old CD”…. more self deprecatory than anything else. Hey, I made it to Katoomba, (just) and did my “:Scarlett O Caty” thing on the staircase,. so I guess I cant be all that bad!!…

But being the “last of the long distance planners” and with a move back from the “sticks” to the ‘orrible city within a near time frame on the cards, ergo no more Caty opportunities whilst er indoors has her weekends away, who knows what the future holds?. Tho I expect it means much less Caty time and therefore the possible “consequences” as per the original post.

(There Adrian, got it back to the original thread, just in time…)

Caty

[Deleted User]

Quote:

The numbers are getting better Claire but the 1/4 are a real pain. They are the ones who go out of their way with throwing pies or stupid words on radio. Juliette

Sadly, Juliette, there will ever be people like this. 100 years from now they will be complaining about migrants from Mars taking ‘our jobs’, and those lucky people who have adopted female bodies, with all the working plumbing as medical science will improve, so they can replace their former male ones. .

[Deleted User]

Well, Adrian, “But we all like reading too much about other’s misfortunes it seems”.
If there weren’t so many of these stories we’d probably enjoy discussing the positive ones.

[Anonymous]

I’m going to leave the marriage debate alone here as I think the article and discussion have conflated two different issues.
Regarding the article, I think its totally valid that if you are coming out you need people around you that will be supportive. If those that you tell can’t get their head around it and accept you for who you are you need to distance yourself from them. If not they can be very destructive to your own self worth.
Having said that, I agree with Adrian that the Australian public have come a long way in just the last few years. Back in the early 90’s I came out to a number of family members and found myself rejected and alone for many years. When contact was reestablished the subject was never brought up, often the elephant in the room. I haven’t seen these family members for many years now. But due to this I stuffed my true feelings down and tried to deny who I was for all of these years. That was until the Christmas just gone when it all bubbled to the surface again. Sure, I had still been crossdressing in private all this time but I just couldn’t hide my true feelings any longer. After a long day and many wines I came out to my niece, not only that I was a crossdresser, but I needed to transition. The response wasn’t rejection, but love and acceptance. Since then I have come out to the rest of my family and a few friends and everyone has been fully supportive.
I’m now on the journey to transition and despite my fears I find that when I go out dressed in public no one bats an eyelid. Admittedly I am going out in safe places and I still need to tell work but I am confident that this will be positive for me.
Sorry if this is a little self indulgent. Just wanted to make the points that we need to look after ourselves first and foremost, the Australian publics opinion of TG people has changed for the better, and it might be us holding ourselves back now.
Cheers,
Madds

[Veronica]

Hi Madeline, what a heartfelt and positive response. All the best with your transition.

Veronica