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Is it becoming too easy to transition as a child?
The issue of gender transitioning in children is a minefield. Many see it as a positive development, others feel we may have gone too far. And others (I’m probably in this camp) worry that whatever we do it will be wrong for someone.
It is important that we accept all views as valid so that we can continue to have an informed debate on the significant issues that are raised by trans-children.It is in the spirit of such debate that I am quoting an anonymous article just published in the Sydney Morning Herald opinion section.
My child is transitioning gender, but I feel the system makes it too easy
The author writes:
Early last year, my teenage daughter told me she was trans and wished to transition to being male.It has been a rollercoaster ride ever since. Her father and I want to support her in making the right choices for herself, but what has happened so far has been very troubling.
Quote:I am not conservative – in fact, I despise most of the items on the right-wing wish list – but I believe that it is too easy to get medical treatment for children to change gender.
In our experiences with healthcare professionals in this field, it seems the current approach is to assume that all patients are genuinely transgender and the only path for them is to physically transition. There does not seem to be any real consideration that the child may be experiencing a number of other psychological factors that may lead them to declare themselves transgender.This kind of idea seems to be kryptonite in the current discussion about transgenderism, however, this is not simple medical issue that is easily diagnosed and easily understood. We are actually talking about emotions and psychology, and a very turbulent and vulnerable time in the development of a human being from child to adult.
My daughter showed absolutely no sign of being unhappy with her gender until her early teens. Until then, she played with “girls’ toys” and had only female friends. She has lots of males around her in our extended family, so there was never any time that she did not have access to “boys’ toys”, or boys to play with, but never showed any interest at all. Her father and I wonder if she is moving into a world that she truly understands.
We know that in the past transgenderism was rare and barely understood, with a lot of stigma, and little agreement on treatment. Trans people often battled to be heard, to seek treatment and to be accepted.
But now everything has changed. Trans rights are front and centre of many political discussions. Transgenderism is a topic that infuses plenty of youth culture. There are transgender celebrities who have identified themselves and even completed the change. It is everywhere in our current consciousness, and when you talk to people under the age of 30 you will find a lot of focus on transgenderism and sexual identity.
So the conditions for transgender children are very different to how they have been throughout history. And here is the issue: transgenderism has now become fashionable to young people.
She goes on to say:
Quote:I work with teenagers, and know them very well. It is normal now for 14-year-olds to say they are non-binary, gender fluid or pansexual. At that age, it’s often not really possible to understand what those things mean, and all the complexities involved.There are two big aspects of adolescent development which, based on my experience, are not being adequately considered. First, teenagers need to break away from their parents and form a separate identity. Part of that is developing their own unique culture that adults can’t possibly be part of. There is an enormous amount of pressure to agree, whether it’s being told that your child is at high risk of suicide, or that you are harming your child and suppressing their identity.
This is normal – there have been beatniks, hippies, punks, goths, emos, and many other groups young people have embraced to shut out the older generation. Previously, teenagers dyed their hair, wore short skirts, rejected materialism, got tattoos and piercings, took drugs and listened to their own version of rock ‘n’ roll.But where do young people go now, considering that their parents and grandparents have already indulged in plenty of rebellion? Right now, playing with concepts around sexual and gender identities seems to be the way that teenagers are rebelling against expectations.
Second, this transition into adulthood is a real danger point for many women. The reality is that men are larger and stronger, and while most are decent people who do the right thing, there has always been a significant portion who target women.
So when a woman’s body starts to develop in puberty, she moves from the relatively safe position of childhood into a world where she will be the object of male sexual attention, including sexual harassment, and may include sexual violence (sadly, this can also be fatal violence).
This can be overwhelming for teenage girls. While some will be confident and secure, and look forward to sex, relationships and potentially motherhood, others can be frightened and feel unprepared.
We know that the teenage years are when issues like anorexia, body dysphoria, anxiety and depression can develop. I suspect that nowadays a conflicted young girl can reject her vulnerability by rejecting her femaleness.
Unfortunately, this complicates things a lot more. What is really happening inside someone’s heart and mind is ultimately inaccessible for other people. Only time will tell how a child’s feelings will develop. Some will passionately want to transition, and it will be the right thing for them. But I am absolutely convinced, because of the reasons I’ve listed, that a number will change their feelings over time.
Quote:However, I have found the professionals we have dealt with completely dismissive of this possibility. There seems to be a relentless motion towards permanent medical changes.Even worse, there is an enormous amount of pressure to agree, whether it’s repeatedly being told that your child is at very high risk of suicide, or an implication that, by not agreeing to their concepts around gender change, you are harming your child and suppressing their identity. This seems to be part of a new approach to gender distress, which I believe is highly ideological and far too simplistic.
Popular culture adds to this pressure, with any dissenting voices drowned out and a wealth of online material to reinforce to an adolescent how right they are, and how wrong we are.
We consented to testosterone treatment at the start of this year after some awful fights, and because the school support worker, whose judgment I trust, said the most important thing I have with my child is the relationship between us, and this was becoming seriously in danger.
She concludes:
We are the adults here, and we must make the right decisions for children. If we get it wrong, the results will be devastating in the long run, and the sense of betrayal and damage to relationships will be incredibly deep.But in the meantime, our voices seem to have been overshadowed by shallow thinkers on both sides of the debate who want to push a particular ideology that suits the way they feel about this incredibly difficult situation.
There are some interesting comments made on the original article here:
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3 Replies
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Adrian wrote “The issue of gender transitioning in children is a minefield. Many see it as a positive development, others feel we may have gone too far.”
Of course it is a difficult issue to handle correctly but just like in the case of minefields there is a safe(r) pathway If you have the right processes to lead you .
There has been much progress on developing treatment regimes for Transgendered people and more recently for younger people . It continues to be an evolving process much like all of other scientific discoveries in every field. Young people are luckier than most of us have been in the sense of more attention being given from clinicians
About two years ago I made a post about a program on SBS “Butterfly”( a 3 part series outlining a case of a young boy identifying as Trans and how his parents and school etc reacted to this. The series was not a pure doucumentary but im sure it was useful in enabling some open discussion in some families where a child had identified as being TG.
The post generated quite a few replies but clearly there was a polarisation of opinions on this matter.
At the time I also agreed with a view expressed that people in the TGR community, by virtue of age and clinical knowledge, have very little of value to contribute to any debate on this topic that might lead to better outcomes for adolescent trans individuals.
I think assessment/treatment programs such as those being executed by Royal Childrens Hospital in Melbourne are the best at present and light years ahead of what was available to me in my early life.
I worry that the author of that SMH article did not connect with clinicians with the appropriate skills.
following advice from a schools support person doesnt seem adequate IMO. -
Caroline wrote:I worry that the author of that SMH article did not connect with clinicians with the appropriate skills, following advice from a schools support person doesnt seem adequate IMO.Totally agree!
The three things that stood out to me reading the article were:
1) The complex issues surrounding children who identify as trans after the start of adolescence – this is an area I have read little about.
2) The contemporary pressures on natal females during adolescence (something I was not really aware of). It perhaps explains the apparent rise in natal females identifying as non-binary, gender fluid or pan-sexual.
3) The difficulty accessing professional and caring support for parents who find themselves having to make difficult choices like those the author has encountered. -
And … the other concern is that other parents of trans children will read that article and be convinced that any intervention is to be avoided as they want to protect
their own children and themselves from a similar outcome. Dreaded Confirmation Bias takes hold and then difficult to sway views !!!
