-
Just came out to my 41 yo daughter
I had a bit of a health scare early last week when I showed symptoms of Bell’s palsy. Thought I was having a Stroke. It prompted me to come out to my 41 y.o. daughter so she would know what to expect when she went through my effects if I had karked it. For those that are unaware my wife of 48 years passed away in late March this year. She knew (well more than highly suspected) about Fay but was very anti.
Went surprising well with my daughter. Turns out that over the years she had suspected something when she discovered heels hidden under my bed that were not her or her Mothers size and also some frilly underwear that was too big and a misdirected shipment of breast enhancers that had our family name on the address label. My wife and daughter definitely did not require breast enhancers!!!
We talked for over an hour and I showed her a couple of photos from TransFormal and explained that while they were actually weekends away with the boys they were really gurls…
I also showed her two pairs of Fay’s famous heels and she remarked “you can walk in those?” to which I replied “better than you can in your little 3” ones!” We talked a little about some of those things only girls and cross-dressers experience… bra straps…stay up not stockings…pantihose and toilets…eyeliner IN the eye…sore balls of the feet from dancing…etc. She completely understands the need to use the Ladies restrooms when dressed – there could be no alternative. (Maybe disabled toilets?)
I explained that cross-dressing was something that dates back to my early teens and that I had tried to purge many times but kept returning to the “light side”. This has lifted a huge burden from my life and I hope that it can blossom into an even closer bond between us.
We have now shared our “alternate” Facebook profiles and perhaps one day she and Fay could attend a TGR function so that she could meet some of the wonderful friends that I have made over the past 10 years.
I feel really relieved now that a close family member knows and understands. It may progress to other members at a later time.
Could have gone in a different direction but am over the moon with the response.
Looking forward to more Fay time with the benefit of genuine female fashion and make up advice. -
7 Replies
-
Out of adversity often springs new beginings. Sorry for your sad loss and hope family closeness will continue to flourish.
-
What an amazingly positive outcome out of such sadness and good on your daughter for being open and accepting.
I think there may be a lot who worry about the discovery of the femme wardrobe by our offspring while sorting through dads stuff. (Claire has opened a topic to discuss this … here) -
Well done Fay…and even more well done to your daughter. Love conquers all
-
Sorry to hear about the health issues hon but what a wonderfully positive step that has come about because of it. A massive well done to your daughter who is clearly a loving and compassionate woman, who it looks like you will be able to share much of your alternate life with
Well done -
Thats great news Fay. I had a similar experience when I came out as trans to my 44 year old niece at Christmas, although I wasn’t ill, just couldn’t bottle it up any longer.
I’ve just had my brother, sister in law and niece stay with me over the last week. When I had come out to my brother and sister in law by email they seemed accepting. My brother was saying all the right things, but I was still worried about my sister in law. When they got here it was quite the opposite. My brother was really struggling but my sister in law was great. By the end of the weekend my brother had spent some time with Madeline and had got his head around things much better.
The real bonus of the weekend was the open conversations we all had. I had always lived life being guarded, not wanting to make a slip. But with everything out in the open the conversation seemed to have no boundaries which was a wonderful and surprising new experience.
So while there are risks and its not for everyone, coming out can be a very positive and liberating experience.
Now, back on the roller-coaster as I start to tell friends. :unsure: -
What a heartwarming story, Fay. I really do wish you the very best in your life, and with your health.
I just spent two weeks with my son in London – in fact I am writing this on my way back to Heathrow. He is such an admirable young man but my wife and I have both agreed that I should not come out to him as we fear he would be devastated. I have had a marvellous two weeks in his company but twice went for makeovers in secret. It’s a torturous thing. This gives me hope that one day I will indeed be able to open the book on Tina and once again be that tight family we always were. Thank you so much, Fay,
-
Sorry to hear about your loss. But you have just embarked on an entirely different chapter in your life. Well done and I know what you mean about the effects. Haha, my wife knows about me, but chooses to not participate. I’m ok with this but it would be nice to go more. We share undies, actually I should say she wears mine. That’s a step in the right direction.
