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Latecomers
My transgender journey started late in life at the age of 50; or at least I thought it did. Looking back I can now explain why, from a very early age, I did some things which others may have thought a bit odd. For example, I was not the sort of guy who liked to go to the pub with his mates, get drunk and engage in rowdy behaviour; I much preferred to be in the company of women or at least men who had a more gentle approach to life. Also I hated buying boys’ clothes and only did it when there was really no choice; but I loved shopping for girl’s’ clothes and often during a lunch break would wander the shops buying dresses and skirts for my wife. She must have got sick of all those miniskirts I bought for her!
As my journey progressed and I made several transgender friends, I found that many, in fact the majority it seemed, had recognised their desire to dress at a very early age and often well before reaching puberty. One friend told me she had started dressing at the age of 4 and had been caught by her grandmother in the act! With the little data I have to hand, I’m guessing that around 90% start dressing at a very early age and that people like me are in the minority.
Perhaps others might like to comment on their early memories of dressing as the opposite sex.
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7 Replies
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I’m not a latecomer by any stretch, my earliest memories are from when I was about three or four, but your comments did bring to mind someone I came to know in Melbourne a lot of years ago. We met at a Melbourne group meeting and became close friends enough for her to tell me her story, I found it quite amazing.
She had lived most of her life in a small village in Ireland, like a lot of farming communities anywhere in the world, even today their lives revolved around the farm and country life, seldom going to the ‘big city’.
She described how she had always felt ‘out of step’ with everyone, having this sensations most of her life. Yet never demonstrated any interest in anything
feminine, no clothing, nor make-up, shoes, nothing. In fact it wast wasn’t until her early forties after she and her family migrated to Australia that she actually saw a man attired as a woman. At that moment everything fell in to place for her she did tell her daughter who became a great support. -
Martina wrote:With the little data I have to hand, I’m guessing that around 90% start dressing at a very early age and that people like me are in the minority.This was one of the topics addressed in the TgR Survey which you can read on this site.
Look for Question 13 Becoming Aware.
http://forum.tgr.net.au/cms/home/about-usLatecomers are a small but measurable sub-group.
My experience of the few latecomers that I have socialised with is that they generally have had a different life experience – certainly compared to those who realised they were different during adolescence. This seems to shape what happens when they do finally find themselves later in life. To say any more would be to over-generalise. -
ClaireStafford wrote:She described how she had always felt ‘out of step’ with everyone, having this sensations most of her life.This rings some bells with me. I always had a feeling that I was somehow ‘different’ but had to wait fifty years to figure it out. Sadly I grew up in an environment where I was expected to conform to the accepted male paradigm and my conditioning was so strong I never thought to question it. How things have changed! And I am really glad to find my real self at last even as a latecomer.
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Adrian wrote:This was one of the topics addressed in the TgR Survey which you can read on this site.
Look for Question 13 Becoming Aware.
http://forum.tgr.net.au/cms/home/about-usFrom the pie chart in the survey report, we can see that only 7% discover their transgenderness in adulthood and only 3% after the age of 40. Interesting stuff.
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Given that I am now 67 and look very good as a transgender, I guess the first time I knew that I had a femme side was when I was about 14, I was left home alone for a weekend and I found and got dressed with makeup in my mothers clothes and remember what an incredible buzz that gave me. I would look for any opportunity to do it even for just a few minutes. This was early 60’s. I tried to be a normal male and have been married twice now the last marriage is over 37 years old, have 2 children, and they have never known about the öther”side of me. I have plenty of opportunity to dress up every day in fact, and now do so 2-3 times a week, I love the feel of being completely dressed and go out in public often, I have now got a relationship that is very fulfilling in all aspects, and we go out together every week for a night out and then spend the whole night together with me as a complete woman. I have now decided to take herbal hormones to enlarge my breasts naturally, as I have realised that I need to be more feminine as a woman to complete the way I feel about myself. I have not come out as I do not yet feel the need to destroy all the family relationships but I have a discrete and secretive life, though I am now becoming more bold with it as the woman is really beginning to emerge from within me. I hope this helps someone in some little way
LOL
Rachel77
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Moderator: I’m not sure if the intent of this forum thread was to encourage everyone to tell their life story. If so I’ll move it to the Chit-Chat all about you forum. Perhaps Marina can clarify if the discussion is about Latecomers or about everyone’s journey and I will moderate the thread accordingly.
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Adrian wrote:Moderator: Perhaps Marina can clarify if the discussion is about Latecomers or about everyone’s journey and I will moderate the thread accordingly.
Adrian: My intent here was to elicit responses that indicated when people started dressing in a way that might be considered opposite to their birth gender. This applies as much to “Earlycomers” as it does to latecomers.
Martina
Moderator: Moved to an informal forum more suitable for people to tell their life story.
