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Maturity levels in the community
Whilst looking for contact information at the Star Observer I came across the following blog form the outgoing editor Scott Abrahams in March 2012.
Sadly when I read what he says I just mutter under my breath “so true”.
Funnily enough he is voicing some of the ideals that lie behind my “moderation” of TgR – so it makes me wonder if perhaps I have tackled a bigger problem than I alone can solve.Anyhow… this what Scott wrote. And I advise you not to assume “it couldn’t apply to me”.
Quote:Over the course of the past five years, I have grown increasingly concerned at the lack of maturity with which sectors of the LGBTI community engage in debate.It seems for many the natural reaction to criticism is to jump on the defensive and spray a handful of bitchy insults at our opposition.
It’s the kind of petty schoolyard politics that does little more than confirm to our oppressors the very stereotypes we fight to shake off.
And we don’t just react this way to comments from those outside the community. In fact I’d say we treat each other worse.
We call each other names, white-ant others’ positions and generate scurrilous gossip and rumours that have no basis in fact. When someone in the community finds the courage to take a stand, we bitch about them, belittle them and hide behind the cloak of online anonymity to take personal swipes at them.
I know it is true — I’ve been on the receiving end of plenty of these attacks, and almost every community leader I know has been through the same cycle.
They are disturbing, vicious, gutless attacks designed not to further debate, but to hurt and wound. And they do us no favours.
If we as a community are to successfully progress our demand for equal treatment at every level we must learn to debate with maturity and reason. We must learn to treat those who disagree with respect and basic human courtesy — no matter how irrational and unreasonable their statements may be.
Because freedom of speech comes with responsibilities — it is not a wholesale term that can be used to excuse substandard behaviours.
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7 Replies
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Hear Hear Amanda I am right behind you with your comments, we need to treat everyone everywhere with care and respect it’s good that there is diversity of opinion and even better to respect others rights to have them.
The other important component is the capacity to work democratically in all facets of human interaction and endeavor .
The concept of “do unto others as you would have them do to you” is a model that is important for us all. -
Totally agree, but it doesn’t only happen in the LGBTI Community, it happens all over the place, out there in the general population, in all sorts of groups of people.
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I agree with you all – it seems that within groups or organisations intermember bitchiness can be incredible ! Anyonme who belongs to a P& C group can testify to that . I have been involved with community an commercial radio for quite some years an dgod that can be bitchy .I donty know why but …
hugs
SUZZ -
The reason people get involved in this or any group is because they want to contribute, to help, to pass on experience, to help make a difference.
But, there are people who don’t like others sticking their noses into “their” business, “their” group, “their” circle of influence. Sometimes these peole do not have the intelligence, or are too affraid of losing control and they attack the newcomer. They are afraid of losing their own “status”. So they attack by whatever means at thier disposal. Our politicians are such good examples of this behaviour.
And those newcomers give up trying to give any input. They are either attacked, or worse, ignored. At least if you are attacked you can try to defend yourself. The effort to get involved becomes too hard. Then the groups concerned complain that they are losing members, no one contributes and the group “bleeds to death”.
Unfortunately, I have seen this so often and seems to be a symptom of our society as a whole.
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Much as I hate to say this I believe it has happened here to a number of previously very helpful and caring members, that are very conspicuous by their absence. So good luck Amanda I think you are going to need it more and more.
Hugs Pamela! -
I couldn’t agree more. Unfortunately it’s a fact of life, part of being human.
Rising above such primative antics and responses takes intelligence, practice and an ability to see the others point of view. That is how a forum of fruitful dialogue and the resulting acceptance of all points of view are reached. In other words, I don’t necessary agree with you, but I accept your point of view. It’s part of democracy.
Practicing such acceptance is best started on your own family and see how quickly it spreads.Liz
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I can’t comment on other groups in the GLBTSI spectrum but I think that our site has become very good at allowing dissenting and varied opinions to be expressed even when opinions are strongly held. In the past there have been some very negative voices but when they have gone too far or become insulting , the sin bin has cooled things down a tad.
Amanda, I think that you are on top of your game as a moderator and this has shown members where the limits to disagreement lie.
As long as we continue to show a good example to newcomers, I think that we will continue to have a lively and robust debate whenever hot issues arise in the forums.
