Moving Cities and starting a transgender life

[Anonymous]

While I have no experience of moving cities for CD reasons, either Melbourne and Sydney (pluses and minus in both ie Sydney rents) would probably be the best paces to move to – lots more girls, facilities and people, more independence and anonymity and, I guess, acceptance too.

For what it’s worth – available work opportunities would be one of my main factors in deciding where to live – though we can try to pretend otherwise it’s harder to be both happy and poor….and being a girl is more expensive (but better than) being a guy.

Good luck with whichever path you choose.

[Anonymous]

Hana,

I am moving to Adelaide at the nd of the year and am in the lucky position to be able to buy. I am getting in contact with girls from Adelaide to make myself known and looking for CD/TS social clubsto join. As a person who is more isolated I m looking forward to getting more opportunities to meet and socialise with others.

Its a challenge no matter and I think its probably good thing to do as it does give greater opportunities to dress and go out.

Get out and do it!

Hugs

Helen

[Anonymous]

Hello hana

I have moved from auckland to melbourne, with no job to go to when came here, but i found work , and met people here and made new friends, and i have found clubs to go to, hard to, but such is life.
Takes awhile to adjust to new city but more people and more contacts to be made in melbourne and plenty of places to shop.

melissa

[Anonymous]

What to say about your move
Well, I suppose its true you can move geographically from one place to another and hope the physical move is part of your transitional one.. But you have to remember that your loved ones will always be your family .. Are they acceptant of your inner self and who you want to be and more importantly how will you tell them. Does the distance make it easier for you if you dont want to confront them. Remember your first support mechanism should always be your family .. It hard I know .. but its something that should be done.
I know the girls in Canberra have been very supportive of you and you can find a great deal of like minded people in all states .. You have done the right thing by posting becuase you can make your friends network through this medium and you will have a great socail life with them..
There are a lot of great girsl out there to support you in any state you decide to travel to.. The rest of the population may take some time .

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[Hana]

Thanks girls for all your posts. Tina, much of what u say i agree with. in that, i agree that family shoud be the first support base, and that they are always going to be my loved ones no matter what. i do want to tell my parents in time. i have thought about it a lot however, and my feeling is that my mum and dad will have a very hard time understanding, and will need time and support before they may ever come close to accepting it. for this reason, i’ve thought that maybe its best if i can somehow develop more confidence and more of a grounded life, outside of my parents oversight initially, before i then tell them and deal with their concerns.

it’s for this reason that i’ve thought that perhaps moving to sydney or melbourne would be helpful. not necessarily to fully transition etc, without my parents knowledge. just to, at the least, live in an environment where there is much more possibility to dress publicy/go out etc on a regular basis and start living my life more fully.

i am also unsure how realistic this is, as i know that making such a move in itself is not an easy thing, nor is leaving my friends and trying to make new ones, nor is the ensuing possible isolation that might result for a while. i feel, that if i did start to meet some more people, and start to integrate my dressing into my life more fully, on a regular basis, it might help with telling my parents and dealing with those consequences.

anyhow, there is a lot to consider and think about. and so, again, if anyone has any further thoughts on these issues in general, i’d really appreciate hearing them.

and thanks for reading my (rather long) post

Hana.

[Anonymous]

Quote:

Hi everyone, it’s Hana here.

I’m just sending a post asking any TR girls to please share their experiences about moving to another city to start living a “trans” life. be it, transexxual, transgendered or crossdressers.

Moving Cities to come out is not necessarily a great idea. You might find yourself very alone with no friends and very limited support.

Sure there are places like the Gender Centre in Sydney, but personalities always conflict and cliques form in ways that can make life very difficult (not necessarily the girls! But there will always be some)

I know a few TS in Canberra looking for friends, contact me by private email if you’d like me to try and put you in contact.

Quote:

currently, i live in canberra and as i have been slowly coming out more and becoming a little more confident, i am considering moving to sydney or melbourne, so that i can start to express myself more freely and start living my life more fully. as i am only 28, and only partly out of the closet (e.g parents don’t know), such a move feels both frightening and like it has potential. i guess this is both because i’m still trying to come to terms with “coming out” more as well as not knowing many people in sydney well, as well as being a creature of habit.

We left Sydney for too many reasons. Sydney is on the maive downhill slide, don’t go there unless you have plenty of money to burn, because people will burn it fro you faster than you can earn it.

I do have a 4WD and Caravan available for rent – maybe you could just go freedom traveling Not cheap either, but it is good to get away and find yourself and there are plenty of forests you can set up in for weeks without being noticed if you want quiet.

If you are going to make scary move, why stay witin arms reach of anything! Get on a plane and trave – and do it before you are 30!

You can get working/holiday visas to USA, UK, CA and most EU countries, so you can backpack, meet heaps of Trans people if you want, and change yourself on the road.

Trust me – if you want to find yourself and discover the world at the same time – this is the way to do it.

Moving to another city in Australia is only going to keep the same ol’ same old.

[Anonymous]

Quote:

Thanks girls for all your posts. Tina, much of what u say i agree with. in that, i agree that family shoud be the first support base, and that they are always going to be my loved ones no matter what.

Lucky you! I have no accepting family at all – made leaving much easier, and discovered how many true friends we really had in the last few months before we left. Even after all I have given freely to people. Oh well, hopefully Pay It Forward applies.

Quote:

i do want to tell my parents in time. i have thought about it a lot however, and my feeling is that my mum and dad will have a very hard time understanding, and will need time and support before they may ever come close to accepting it. for this reason, i’ve thought that maybe its best if i can somehow develop more confidence and more of a grounded life, outside of my parents oversight initially, before i then tell them and deal with their concerns.

Has nothing to do with your confidence. You need to tell the people you need to tell. Simple. If your journey changes, then people who care will support that change. Has nothing to do with anyone but you.

Transition is like starting a new job or career. Do people get al upset and weird over that? Well some do, and they really aren’t helpful, most really, if people can’t accept, then move on yourself cause to be honest life is limited and people who want you to fit their ideals will never assist you in getting to were you want.

I tried that for 30 years – fitting my parent ideals – the perfect Man, the Perfect Husband – the Perfect father.

End result, the kidnapped my kids, told my wife to leave me, and tried to imprison me, and then sued us in hope my wife would leave me and beg for their help.

Fortunately she’s smart cookie and we moved on. I have to admit, it was her that broke the umbilical cord, but sometimes you need help.

Quote:

it’s for this reason that i’ve thought that perhaps moving to sydney or melbourne would be helpful. not necessarily to fully transition etc, without my parents knowledge. just to, at the least, live in an environment where there is much more possibility to dress publicy/go out etc on a regular basis and start living my life more fully.

Honey you can go out dressed in whatever you want anywhere in the world! (Well mostly there are some countries you might get stoned!)

My recommendation – AGAIN – Get your Passport, pack your bag and buy a few cheap airline tickets and spend 2 years traveling before you NEVER get the chance.

If you do head to the west coast of the USA, Canada or UK or France let me know, might be able to catch up with you depending on my schedule!

i am also unsure how realistic this is, as i know that making such a move in itself is not an easy thing, nor is leaving my friends and trying to make new ones, nor is the ensuing possible isolation that might result for a while. i feel, that if i did start to meet some more people, and start to integrate my dressing into my life more fully, on a regular basis, it might help with telling my parents and dealing with those consequences.

anyhow, there is a lot to consider and think about. and so, again, if anyone has any further thoughts on these issues in general, i’d really appreciate hearing them.

and thanks for reading my (rather long) post

Hana.[/quote]