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Neighbours – how do you deal with them?
For those who go out and have neighbours to go past in order to go out, do you undertake subterfuge methods in going out like put your guy stuff on over your girl stuff and getting changed in the car?
Or do you just say “screw it?”, dress how you like and just hold your head up high and walk straight past your neighbours and look them in the eye if they challenge you or say something?
Having neighbours is a new concept for me and I’ve gone out using the first method I suggested earlier whereas I probably should be leaning towards number 2.
I guess on those rare times that my parents come to visit me, I dont want my neighbours saying anything (and I think that one of my neighbours is the sort of person who’d do it) -
11 Replies
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I’ve been living in the same house for 19 years.
My neighbour to the left was there before me. The one to the right has been there only a few years and they have a great view of my back yard and his young son is in my sons scout group as a Cub. I pretty much have nothing to do with any of them except a friendly greeting the odd time we bump into one an other or have eye contact.
Although I have come out to a lot of people, my neighbours aren’t one of them as I have no real contact. However I do come and go from my house in both Male and Female roles openly and regularly and I know both has seen me often and neither of them has said a thing.
For me there its not an issue as I am out to everyone now, but that was not always the case as once I was deeply closeted.
Both my neighbours like myself keep pretty much to ourselves, so there has never been a problem.
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ive got about 6 neighbour houses in close proximity. I used to worry, racing up my front steps in case i was seen, but now its pretty much standard. Since i dont care what my neighbours wear, unless its obscene why should they care.
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Hi Melissa
I had a simular problem. If you check out the following post, you might gat some useful info.
Serious Stuff > Coming Out > Neighbours. How to – what to – when to, tell them.The final answer is up to you as it was for me…
Read what was written as there are many answer to your question…
One workered for me, but that doesnt mean it would work for youSally
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I used to worry a lot about being seen before I started living fulltime. My neighbours were a rather big concern for me as they are nice people and I didn’t want to upset them. In the end I told them and now things are no different than before. I don’t do hair and makeup just to stay at home, only if I have been or am going somewhere and as a result, neighbours on one side haven’t even seen me yet with my face done. That goes to show how “nosey” they are I suppose.
In the end, you are the one who knows your neighbours Melissa, no-one else. You need to decide how much you want to stay in the closet in this regard. Once I came out though, it was a lot easier to live life as I wished.
Peta A.
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I was once told my new flat mate was pretty hot ….. I did not have the heart to tell them I lived alone.
xxx
Kelly Jones
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I come and go as I please and am not too concerned what the neighbours think. If, and it will happen, they see me out dressed, then I’ll say hello and be pleasant. They are nice people and I don’t believe they’ll be too concerned.
Helen
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I used to go out to the servo for smokes and snacks; I didn’t give a damn what my neighbours thought; on one side was a maori bloke and his girlfriend who were constantly having domestics and on the other was a house full of students who were so self obsessed that they didn’t notice anything that wasn’t about them.
I guess I find it odd that people communicate with their neighbours at all (re: parents talking to neighbours), since I’ve never had a neighbour worth talking to. -
Good comments Vexing, I think our neighbours may have other more pressing problems than taking too much notice of us going out. I think attitudes have changed so much that what was once a close community is now more a group of individuals all with their own problems.
I am getting much less secretive when I am dressed, and am more accepting of who I am. I think most neighbours will accept this.
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Yesterday I finally had a chat to my neighbour (the one on the left) about myself. All is good. I think she appreciated me telling her as she had seen me a number of times but now I think it has eased our relationship me explaining myself.
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That’s great Anthea, I’m leaving mine as they are, and I think that I’ll be talking with them during summer.
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It’s all falling into place for you, Anth, the more out you are the better the reactions you get. I’m jealous!
