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Old Age!
Is it old age or is it just me as an individual?
As many would be aware I have been through a rough trot or hard times as it may be described. A few weeks of 2015 have been spent in hospital battling the effects of diabetes. In essence, having toes and part feet amputated, the latter reluctant to thoroughly heal. Needless to say my thoughts on tarting myself up to the nines has been far from my mind. I am what I am, and even in the darkest moments have made sure I have clean knickers and nighties or PJ’s to wear. It was, and still is the nearest I can to be dressing up. My mind has been indoctrinated into the daily grind of exhausting stress and mind blowing thoughts on the worst that well could have happened. As a result of my Transgender health I lost roughly twenty kilos, at least a couple of dress sizes.
You don’t have to be Transgender to be diabetic, but being Transgender and diabetic just adds to the daily stresses that I have encountered. The pain involved is quite staggering, on a daily basis with no let up. Pain killers have limited abilities in controlling such pain. What I have found to be the most wearying of all is the very frequent suicidal thoughts and methods of achieving such outcomes. It’s a daily battle that in the end I think I will loose because the fighting becomes more and more draining.
I’ve been told by ‘in the know’ nurses if that is a truism to have the legs or legs off as in the end it’s the only, and final way to control the pain. My GP
a very caring Muslim man thinks as I do and hang in there to the bitter end. That in essence is my background story to Transgender Health. Every health care professional I have encountered, from nurses, podiatrists, diabetic health specialists, GP’s and surgeons have all known of my background and I have received only the best of advice and health care.
I’ve had support, good support from transgender friends, namely, Juliette and of course, ‘her indoors’ my official carer and transgender supporter.Old age isn’t for wimps.
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5 Replies
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Oh Liz. I’m so sorry to hear of your trials during the year. Your story strikes a chord with me – not in terms of my current circumstances but what I fear for the future as the ‘wounds of age’ catch up.
Without a supportive wife I will be on my own when it comes to any effort to transform and wearing even a nightie won’t be an option.
Is there prospect of recovery, even partialy, sufficient to support your dressing?
My thoughts are with you.
Michelle
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Thank you, Michelle for empathy.
Unfortunately, there is no reprieve. Diabetes is ongoing without let up. I think there may be a new thread circulating in the old brain box.
Thanks again.
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We can’t really ‘know’ what you are going through and with the best will and empathy we can only sympathise. Although I am physically in reasonable shape, arthritis and various minor things aside, but nothing to compare with your trial. Similar emotive thoughts have been in my mind as well. What to do later?
I am aware of the physical issues, diabetes is a sod of an illness. I wish you comfort. -
There are very little words I can offer you other than, keep battling on. Sometimes days can seem very long and full of shadows of doubt and pain. Remember there is always a Tomorrow.
My best wishes are with you. -
Thank you Bridgette, Claire Stafford, Michelle for your kind thoughts and wishes. Everything comes in spurts, waxes and wanes. I’ve been put on an anti depressant I’ve never heard of before, but it’s working and I have uninterrupted sleep which is wonderful.
Thanks again ladies for your thoughts and kind wishes.Liz
