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Secrecy, heartbreak and women’s clothes: Inside The Seahorse
SBS has broadcast a doco about Seahorse NSW as part of “the Feed”.
The video can be viewed on their web site here:
http://www.sbs.com.au/secretcrossdresserssociety/There is also a more extensive multi-media section on-line at the above URL.
The introduction on the SBS web site reads:
Quote:With unprecedented access to Australia’s oldest, previously secret cross-dressing club, The Feed’s Andy Park took a dirt road turn off that would lead to the deeply private secrets hidden at the back of men’s wardrobes.Following a lead on a story, my contact gave me directions that had led me to an isolated dirt road turn-off in the bush somewhere on the Central Coast.
I stopped the car. No one was around. My destination lay down the dirt road somewhere.
Feeling a little vulnerable, I messaged the office the contact details of the secret society I was planning to meet. You know, just in case.
Little did I know that I was embarking on a journey into secrecy, heartbreak and women’s clothes that would introduce me some of the most open and genuine people I’ve met.
They are the Seahorse Society, Australia oldest cross-dressing club, born out of the days when men wearing women’s clothing in public were arrested or worse.Amongst their some 150 members are mechanics, doctors and politicians – the vast majority are older, heterosexual family men – their wives, children and colleagues have been kept in the dark about their predilection for women’s clothing.
Arriving to a small house by a river, I nervously glanced at my phone: great, no reception. Was I being paranoid?
I was greeted at the door and was welcomed into a lounge room with several men and a woman – or was that all men or all women? It was hard to say.
One of the largest was a person dressed as a woman with large breasts that I was too nervous to study any closer.
This was just one meeting over a few weeks that felt this way, and slowly I got to know the Seahorses more and they began to open up.
I was told secrets, some I can publish and many I cannot, that wives up and down the state don’t know.
I was shown into secret rooms bursting full with women’s clothes.
I was told about suicides and suicidal thoughts as a result of wives finding out.
I met with current wives who have overcome their husband’s cross-dressing and ex-wives who could not share their bed with a cross-dresser once they found out.
It all seemed so arbitrary to me that whole families and decades of marriage had been cast away for the misunderstanding over a frock.
Amusingly, sometimes I would drift into being playfully camp with them, as I might do with gay friends, only to get a confused look from a toolmaker in a wig and a lipstick.
All the while these men were opening up to me about their darkest secrets, in the hope that others might find the kinship and support they found in the Seahorse Society.
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10 Replies
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I just watched this, and thought it was quite well done and with sympathy. Glad it was SBS and not a commercial channel who would have made a horror story of it.
The three ladies carried it off well, and it was also interesting to hear from the lady at the Breastform Store and the makeover person (Ophelia?) who I believe more than one WA girl has used on visits to Sydney.
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The show turned out better than I thought it would. I’ve met four of the participants in real life. Tanya, Ophelia, President Susan and her wife, all lovely people. I think the show stressed the “Secret Society” angle a bit much. The Society is wide open to contact. It’s just that many members want to keep this aspect of their lives to themselves or to a limited group.
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From what I know, I feel this program explained the topic well in the short 14:41 length. About Seahorse NSW it IS a secret group, for the reasons explained. The fact that it exists is not secret but most everything else about it is, meeting place etc.
I personally feel cross dressing must be very challenging in that keeping it all a secret no doubt is very stressful.
The program also showed the challenges of some relationships and cross-dressing. I would suggest it’s a good use of 14 minutes to view the show.
And guess what Cross-dressers DON’T eat babies – The things you learn from SBS2-TV *smiles*
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Well I figure that if you put “Seahorse Society” in a Google search and find a website that allows you to access most of it as a visitor it’s not that secret a society. Even if you don’t find my name, address and number. Actually as Member No 999, I’m just happy I’m not 666!
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Publicity for a secret Society is always going to be a latent conflict. The need for secrecy by those who are living double lives hiding their cross dressing from family is always there. Whatever you can Google, the secrecy is never far below the surface, with pictures of feet and the backs of heads. It is something I found quite claustrophobic after many years helping run Seahorse NSW.
So this documentary, though short, is breaking new ground and maybe shows a new awareness that secrecy is self defeating as it fuels ignorance and a lack of acceptance in society. Add to that the documentary is very well produced and researched.
So there we have in one month excellent examples of building awareness at both ends of the gender spectrum. Call me Cate ( http://forum.tgr.net.au/cms/forum/F159/5775-775 ) gave us a compelling story about Cate who had to keep her true gender secret but who found support from friends when she eventually changed sex. The Secret Crossdressers Society tells us about heterosexual men who have a secret hobby dressing in women’s clothes and find support in Seahorse.
Both stories are genuine, moving, and take bravery to tell in public.
But I wonder if the general public will make the connection between them, as being examples of two extreme manifestations of gender diversity. Are we all going to have to be crossdressers or transsexuals just to get acceptance in society?
I hope not, and I hope the media can make the connection soon! I look forward to more documentaries about gender diversity of this quality.
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Congratulations to all involved !
(I’m shouting so you can hear me from inside this closet.
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I thought ho hum, crossdressing? been doing it all my life as an expression of my transgenderism. Another ‘getting the general public on board’ is a good thing, another rung in the ladder of acceptance through familiarity. As has been said, a good job it was SBS for quality. Carol number 999? there has obviously been a few through the system since I was a member, member number 87 nearly thirty years ago.
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There certainly must have been a turnover. Seahorse is currently claiming 137 financial members and my 999 number was issued last January. I’ve only been to two Seahorse events so I’m not a very active member. The main reason is that Adrian’s Glebe Café nights clash with Seahorse monthly meetings and I find Glebe more fun.
Moderator
Quote:Please do not wander off topic. There are other more appropriate places to discuss Seahorse in general. Please stick to discussion of the SBS doco. -
I found the show very well done but a little short. No hype or insults and no put downs
.Top marks to SBS.
Also this show may be very important to crossdressers who are in the closet and did not know this type of club could even exist. Yes if you know it exists, it can be found with a net search.
I hope this show will help someone get out of the dark and into a happier light.
Vicki
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A very sensitive and sensible coverage of the whole subject. Oh that my beloved and no doubt a veritable plethora of other TGR members wish that their SO’s would take the time to watch it. I’m sure they would gain a much greater and more sympathetic viewpoint on the whole subject.
But at least in my case, sadly, I just know that aint gunna happen.
Caty
