Supportive partners

[Anonymous]

I wonder about this too.My experience was with a woman who knew about me before we got together and would give me makeup and clothes etc. After we married my dressing would be part of our sex life and she was fine with playing roles etc ( every TV’s dream??) but once I told my friends , 10 years later,she wondered what they would think of her yadda yadda and she left ( but not solely for that reason) some years later. I now think that she saw it as a way to control me ( through my sexuality) for whatever reasons she had for doing so . This is now fine with me as I understand her POV with time behind us.

I reckon it all has more to do with the quality and strength of the relationship etc . How can a woman , who finds out about a TG husband after 20 years of marriage , trust or see the person as true? If such a significant part of our lives is kept secret , what else was lied about, may be her thinking?? IMO.

[Anonymous]

Yes I wonder about acceptance being part of control !
I had a partner at one stage who would suggest that I dress whenever I was in a particularly bad mood – usually from work stresses .She said being dressed calmed me down a lot This was a good tactic at times but at other times I wondered if I was being manipulated by her to get what she wanted,via dressing me up. I started to get the feeling that if I lost her it would be a hard, lonely time until I found someone else that had attraction to, and for, me and would (at least) tolerate my dressing.So after a while the relationship felt at times like a comfortable gentle trap i had fallen into
I guess it can happen
Suzz

[Anonymous]

One of the nice things to happen in my life since divorce has been finding a woman who knows and loves me exactly as I am. My ex played the “how can I trust him after he’s been hiding this?” card as an excuse for our divorce. The real and all too complex to explain here reasons I shall not bore you with but I will ask how many others have had marriages ended by the convenient smoke screen of their cross-dressing/gender status when other factors were the real cause?

My gender status has been an issue at times. Not with my GF but rather with some of her friends. The majority are intrigued but a few have been quarantined from me just in case. My GF also was up-front in expressing what appears to be a common concern among understanding GG partners-“Will she want a complete transition?” As I’m happy to be a girl in a boy’s body this is not now an issue, but it makes you wonder how our accepting partners really see us. And perhaps more importantly, we need to be mindful that having a TG partner comes with a host of potential difficulties for a GG regardless of how readily they can accept us.

[Petra]

Hi girls , i myself have a supportive partner and i told her alfter a few months of going out as i felt i was falling in love with her but didnt want to go down that road without her knowing the things i like to do .
So i told her all about evrything i have done etc in the past and i mean everything ! ! ! …. i figuered if i loose her better now than years down the track .
Lucky for me alfter alot of talk and questions ,we are going very strong and she gets dresses for me etc and we share everything along the way , hence us going to Transformal together .
I dont believe she would be useing this to trap me into a relationship i believe she just loves me for who i am all together and thats Petra as well .
I did get the usual questions that i have read about on TR and this is why i joined….. for her to be able to meet and talk to other partners as there is alot to think over for partners , but i will always be honest and open with her and thankfully we are very happy .
Look forward to seeing you all at Transformal , and haveing a chat
Petra

[Elizabeth]

Hi all,
After 35 years of marriage with all the challenges associated with being trans there is, or what appears to be an understanding. I’m not sure that it’s acceptance, its more ‘if you can’t beat them, then you may as well join them’ Whatever the real reason it really is a relief for me. The greatest stumbling block for me has been fear, or to be more precise, sheer terror. I made a choice some years ago not to go down the transition path because I valued my family more. That was despite the absolute horror of living with the daily inner torment of transgenderism. I continued to live the lie. It was a trade off on my part. I had my chances to take the other path but was too chicken to be without family. Like others I have been down the extreme path of very deep depression and serious suicide attempts. The depression never really goes away. On the lighter side I am now encouraged around TR, CTN and AA and all the activities I am able and choose to attend. She who must be obeyed decided to attend the Transformal, after asking her. She is looking forward to the weekend, and is with me at a forthcoming restaraunt night. All looks rosey on the surface.
It has taken years of torment on both sides, a great many tears and soul searching to be where we are. As my wife said, ‘You appear a lot happier in recent months since joining TR etc’. I am. its’ a relief.
Supportive partners, maybe. I reckon it takes enormous amounts of courage on both sides to be fully accepted. Apologies if I have appeared to ramble, I’m just jotting down my thoughts and some feelings around the subject matter. TR has been a Godsend. The tears are welling up right now.

Hugs, Liz