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Telling the boss.
This might sound like a bit of a blog but it’s honestly not meant in that context so if it is confusing to the moderator, I’m sorry!
I just want to say that you can never ever predict what can happen when you come out, especially at work. I am in the rough and tumble world of mechanics and trucks and I told my boss a couple of days ago about HRT and my eventual future. At work they already knew that I go home and wear a different wardrobe but that was all that they knew. The thing that surprised me was getting asked plain and simply “can I still physically do the job?” When I replied that I already am, I was told that I still have a job for life.
So it goes to show that you can never predict your outcome in these matters. Even though it’s early days, being in an industry such as mine I didn’t really expect an answer like that because of all of the “hard nuts”/tough characters. The rest of this story will unfold in my blog but as I said, if you thinking of coming out whether it be at work or even elsewhere, you can never tell what may or may not occur.
Peta A.
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12 Replies
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Hi Peta.
I would have to totally agree with you!
When I attended the interview for my current job last Nov, I told my potential employer during the interview that I was transgender. Her response? “Well, that must be interesting for you!”
She asked if I wanted to work as a female and I said it was up to her – as it turns out, she said no as I would be working in customer service in a retail store – and I was ok that. But the point is, my employer and the other staff all know i’m transgender and it doesn’t affect my ongoing work routine, so its all good!
CLARE.
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sometimes Peta people can see the real person in front of them, and changing your gender doesn’t change the person who you are inside. And your boss is smart enough to know that, you are lucky person and good luck.
Clare maybe in the future your boss will change her mind when she meets the real you.
But some times you will be surprised with what other people think, and hopefully this is a change that more girls will see more often.
Penny
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Hi Girls
A few months ago I approached my manager about my coming to work as a female and her major concern was also, would I still be able to do my job. I have not done so yet, as I am still in the process of altering my lifestyle but May is the “changeover” time as I will be returning from holidays and we have all agreed on the timeframe. Also, there are a lot of decisions to be made and people to be told, especially in a larger workplace. Patience is crucial to successful transitioning in the workplace.
I believe communication, openness and honesty is the key to a successful transtion in the workplace. This has also given me time to discuss my plans with various workmates, answer their questions and to reduce the “shock” factor that comes with rocking up one day as a different gender.
On the downside, the uniform won’t be changing much, just the contents. On the upside, I have found so much support from the people I work with.
I understand that not everyone will be so lucky in the workplace – just like everywhere else. It really is a matter of doing your research and talking to people and if you are lucky, you will find your workplace is a lot less hostile than you imagined it would be.
Huggs
Portia -
From a different angle I’m currently looking for work, I haven’t had any interviews yet but I’m very ‘concerned’ about it all. I’m sure it will be fine and smooth I just worry a little that I’ll go to an interview where they’ll obviously have an issue with me and I might challenge them on their opinions. Which would be pointless I know but…. *shrugs*.
Plus also for me feeling ready for it, I’ve never been ready for anything and I’m only 6 months into HRT which makes me feel like I have so far to go and soooooo much residual maleness left in me that still shines, my mum pointed a few things out the other day (thanks mum) and I’ve felt crap ever since, harsh realities. I mean I’ve never heard a woman use the word ‘residual’? lol….. more harsh realities huh? Maybe lingering, hhhmmm edit that later.Well you know….. It’s not like I can go into an interview with some sort of disclaimer saying “this is not as good as it gets, I am only __% the way through my transition and one day (hopefully) you won’t even be able to tell or even remember that I once used words like ‘residual’ ??? …etc…etc..”.
Hi Girls
I work for myself in two different business’s, so althought I dont have to report to bosses, I do have to be accountable to my customers and their business’s. No one had an issue with my transitioning, as they only wanted to know if I could still do the work. Each custmer was like comming out to a new work place all over again. I found it was in the planning, and having an insider on your side from the start helps heaps.
I was only on hormones for 3 months before I went full time, so dont let that stop you, just plan for best and worst cases and keep you cool even if someone is been a prick, you kill them with kindness and they have nothing to fight, just smile and let the assholes make a fool of them selves and pear pressure from other will fix it for you.
It really was not as bad as I thought it would be. So hold your heads high and go for it.
xxx
Kelly Jones
Quote:Clare—>>> I find it strange that they didn’t let you work as ‘you’, did you not feel offended by that? Or are you not planning on going fulltime (as in RLT)?Hi Shannon.
It was more of a compromise! I needed a job immediately at the time and I am prepared to wait a little longer before – employment wise – attending the workplace as fulltime femme.
The time and place for fulltime in all respects is based on a long term, well planned strategy. Fulltime for me means legal change of name etc… so it is not something that I can do spontaneouslly just for a job.
….. but that’s not to say it won’t be a necessity in the future when the time is right!
CLARE.
Hi there Peta, that is excellent news, I think it amazes them that they think you wont be able to do the job…
But this is excellent at least you have peace of mind for employement.
Hugs
Stef
Moderator
Quote:Please look at the forum and first post. Peta didn’t intend the post as a personal blog entry but rather to start a collection of experiences. So please only post here if you have a personal experience of telling the boss.When I told my manager at my Coles Express service station that i was going to go on hormones and transition, she said fine, she would organize a female name badge, 2 female shirts. She has been able to do this even though i havent formally changed my details at work yet, although i will be. I was very impressed that its been smooth at work, but i know other industries are alot different in their standards.
Customers to the station are another story though. I somethimes think that maybe i should wear a badge that says “transitioning in progress – give me a break”. Every so often i have the time to talk abit longer to a customer and expecially women – do seem geniunely interested when i talk about what im doing and the changes ive been through.
Same subject, different direction. I was visiting my department’s head office for a couple of days last week when I got invited in for a quiet chat. Seems the rumour mill has exposed my secret!! No big deal after the initial surprise. Indeed there was a sense of relief. The only thing that the boss was concerned about was that someone (me) might turn up in a dress without warning anyone. Apparently this happened in another state office some time ago. As an afterthought he said that I should give him a call if I get hassled at any time. The other interesting thing was he got the information 10th hand! Jee-suzz! How may other people know? I may have to get a few work suits into the wardrobe!!
To add to the thread (but not repeat myself
) my expereience of telling my boss was amusing and is written up in my blog:http://people.sorbs.net/michelle/blog/5
Shells
xxI’m not sure where this post belongs but I wonder if there are other similar stories. I have been on TR for the last three years. It has been a time of personal upheaval, divorce, being outed at work, starting on hormones to name a few.
Well, a rather remarkable thing has happened in the last couple of weeks; I have discovered, to my delight, that someone whom I directly supervise at work (and it’s only a small office) has just become a member of TR. So Roisin and I will have a lot more to talk about in the future.
Life will have no fewer hurdles but they may be easier to deal with…
Hey Felicity, we still want to see you and Roisin working you know! None of this gossip and gasbagging stuff in work time ok? What a great thing to happen though, lunchbreaks will be so cool!
Hey, a little laugh alright, no serious harm intended. Seriously though, I had a little talk just recently with my bosses the other day about name change time and they’re still of the same intentions. “Bring your paperwork in and then we can print and send the form to head office”. Like I said in my initial post here, you never can tell how things will go at work.
Peta A.
