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Thailand: Land of Smiles and Lady-Boys
This is an article I wrote for a British TG magazine:
Lady Boys in Thailand
One day I was walking through the cosmetics floor of the Emporium, a Bangkok department store, mindful of the fact that I needed some new eye-liner but uncertain of which brand I should buy. I certainly wanted to try something new, but what? I walked past an expensive looking stand with a tall girl looking gorgeous in a black minidress behind the counter, but did not recognize the brand so I continued on thinking I was probably going to make a decision not to make a decision. I had only taken a few steps when a distinctly male voice behind me said: “Do you need some help?”
I hesitated but then realized that the voice must belong to the pretty girl I had just passed; there was no one else around. However, the girl was obviously not a “she” in the conventional sense, but what the Thais call a “lady boy”. I had met a kindred spirit in the middle of a department store, so I could not let this go without further investigation. Returning to the counter, I asked her about eyeliner and she showed me some of her products and I ended up parting with a lot of money for a small phial of black eye-liner and a brush with which to apply it. The cost was high but I felt it was good value as we had both had so much fun looking at the various products and testing them, and we both knew what we were about. I went home all the way with a smile on my face.
As I am walking back along Sukhumwit Road back to my apartment, I am thinking about lady boys, who consist entirely of males all of whom have the same wish and that is to live as females. Some have partial or full sex change surgery but not all. Sometimes they look more gorgeous than the real gender girls but the size of the hands and feet, not to mention the voice, often gives them away. But “passing” is not so important in Thailand; transgender and gay people can be themselves with little comment or even interest from society at large. (The only exception in my experience is that some Thai families are not overly happy about having a son who wants to live permanently as a female; sadly, many of us are familiar with the tyranny that some family members can impose.)
By way of illustration, I worked at a local university in Bangkok for three years doing some part-time lecturing. During that time, I encountered students, both male and female, who dressed opposite to their birth gender. Students at all levels of education in Thailand are required to wear uniform; at university it is white shirt and black trousers for guys and white blouse and black skirt for girls. The type and style of footwear is entirely optional and also the length of skirt varies from ankle length to micro-mini. (Over the years, there has been a campaign by those in authority to persuade the girls to maintain modest skirt lengths, but it seems to have had little impact and, as far as I know, is not enforced.) Interestingly, the trans-students blend in with all the other students; they seem to be accepted for who they are: themselves.
Now half way home, I arrive at a very large intersection called Asoke, named after the Indian emperor who sent missionaries out into the world to spread Buddhism so establishing that religion in Thailand probably around the 3rd century BC. Near one corner of Asoke is Soi Cowboy, famous for its bars full of pretty girls anxious to help male tourists empty their wallets in the fastest and most efficient way possible. Most bars have at least one lady boy which leads me to one sad but important observation; namely that most westerners associate lady boys with the sex industry or the drag shows which are famous in places like Pattaya. They do not realise that many lady boys work in a variety of occupations.
After crossing the Asoke intersection, I pass a restaurant called Tanaman Thai which is a favorite of mine, serving lovely Thai food and most importantly never charging me corkage on the wine I bring. One of the waitresses is a lady boy and she has served me there many times. It does not matter whether I go there as a guy or a girl; I know I will always be greeted like a family member.
My journey ends at my apartment block where I smile at the receptionist as I walk in. One of our previous receptionists, who worked there for about 6 months, was a lady boy too. Once I gave her two of my dresses which were too small for me but fitted her perfectly. She was very grateful and when I arrived home one evening greeted me with a big smile wearing one. I don’t know why she left but I liked her a lot.
About a year ago, I moved north to Chiang Mai. One of my first tasks was to get a hair cut, so I went to a nearby hairdresser and the person who did my hair was a lady boy. I thought the job she did was mediocre, but I still gave her a large tip because I like to be kind to my sisters. (She failed to do all the little additional things that most Thai hairdressers do: like trimming my eyebrows, cutting those funny little hairs that grow sideways out of old people’s ears and even nostril hairs that may have encountered daylight.) The next time I needed a haircut, I went a little further afield and lo and behold, you guessed it, my hairdresser turned out to be another lady boy. She did a great job and I am now a regular. The second time I went there, I had to wait an hour because there were three ladies in front of me all wanting their hair cut or styled. She is very popular.
Most recently, I went to a dental clinic to have two rebellious teeth removed and the head receptionist turned out to be a lady-boy!
You may now understand that Thai lady boys are accepted in many professions in Thailand. I have seen them working in department stores, restaurants, chemists, hotels, and beauty salons and once had one as a travel guide. With few exceptions, they have the freedom to be themselves; I wish we could find the same acceptance in our own cultures. -
3 Replies
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Thank you for your post Martina.
I have felt uncomfortable about Lady Boys as there are only seen as a part of Thailand’s sex trade. You have helped me to see that there is far more to this part of Thailand’s diversity.
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The other facts about being gender diverse in Thailand are somewhat more harsh:
There is still large discrimination for work placement in mainstream jobs and it is only usually the service industries that will employ gender diverse people in Thailand.
The authorities will NOT allow name nor gender change officially, irrelevant of any surgery or not. This means the Thai ID card that must be carried and all other official document will show the gender and name registered at birth.
There is no government assistance with mental or surgical areas.
Thailand (like Australia) does not recognize same sex unions.
These and other facts should be taken in account when comparing the situation of gender diverse people in different countries.
The 140 page pdf 2015 document “Gender identity and sexual orientation in Thailand” produced by the International Labour Organizations provides many more details.
Also the 66 page 2014 pdf “BEING LGBT IN ASIA: THAILAND COUNTRY REPORT” produced by the United Nations Development Programme has more information.
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Thank you Bee for showing the other side of the coin. At the “official” level all is not good, but I still maintain that I feel much happier being out as a TG in Thailand than I do in Australia, simply because of the wider acceptance by the community at large. I recently tried on a dress in a department store in Chiang Mai and the sales ladies asked for my ID so I could get a better discount; I showed them my Thai driver’s licence which has my boy photo and they never batted an eye-lid. I like that.
One other negative aspect is that when royalty are handing out degrees at a university, transgenders are required to dress according to their birth gender.
At present, the military government is drawing up a new constitution which is rumoured (according to the Huffington Post) to contain clauses designed to protect the third gender and overcome some of the problems you mention. If that happens it will be an important step forward to overcome the “official” prejudices which exist here and do not reflect the attitudes of the wider community.
Have a look: Huffington Post
