Thanks for making me feel small

[Adrian]

Jessi,
I’m sorry that you feel second rate because some features of TgR have not been enabled for you.

As you are aware, it is our policy to allow free access to any community member who is in financial difficulty.

TgR costs real money to run – over $1300 last year. Asking for a joining fee has nothing to do with one’s standing – it essential if the web site is to continue. And we have to ensure that those who support the site receive some recognition. As without them the site would close down.

To avoid everyone trying to join for free (because they haven’t got a credit card) there has to be some features of the web site that we reserve for those who pay the one-off $10 joining fee. You have correctly identified photo albums as one of them (the storage space for the pictures actually costs money). It was also the intent to reserve blogs (and commenting on them) to premier members – but the configuration of that part of the web site is incomprehensible (it will happen when I sort it out).

However no member can comment on other profiles – so I’m not sure what you think you are missing out on there.

By giving you free access to most of TgR I am in effect personally subsidising your share of the website costs. I naively expect gratitude or to be just ignored. So to be attacked for making you feel worthless is a somewhat unexpected and I feel unwarranted response.

[Anonymous]

Well it wasn’t a personal attack, although you seem to see every criticism of this site as such, it was how the restrictions made me feel personally. I am on a disability pension,with a mortgage and 2, 20+ children living with me…$10 may not seem much to most folk, but some weeks it’s the difference between eating and starving to me. I joined this site to see if I could make some friends as I don’t have many now because they all left when my ex accused me of being to blame because I was CD.The comments on other profiles was in regard to the photos, where I would have liked to give a bit more encouragement than “liked”. If you think I am ungrateful and a total bastige, just remove me then.

[Adrian]

Jessi59 wrote:

If you think I am ungrateful and a total bastige, just remove me then.

I don’t remove profiles from the site just because someone is being ungrateful – gratitude seems so out of fashion on the internet. Generally people who keep asking to be removed only want to go away being able to say “Adrian threw me out of TgR”. I’d rather you stayed, but if you want to go, you can do it from your profile.

[Deleted User]

Sad, it seems to be one of those ‘damned if you do, damned if you don’t’ situations. A one off contribution of $10.00 seems to be so little, I’m on a pension too with a dependent but I can squeeze that sum out. Having said that, with the situation being what it is, what if I contribute to her membership? Will this help?
As has been said it does cost a lot to run and manage the site and we have to accept that, most groups these days have a fee of some sort.
Cheers,
Claire

[Anonymous]

I think that the ten dollar fee is a good thing it sorts those that are genuine from those that are perhaps looking for a cheap shot at gender diverse people. I feel for those that are on a hard road but ten dollars ( which can be sent in via a cash payment which is how I joined) is not even two glassess of wine or a half a pack of smokes. Perhaps save five dollars (as I did) a week instead of some other little item and lo and behold your membership fee is there. I think if we open it up as a free site we invite every nut job to join and ruin the site as well as making it an extraordinary financial impost on Adrian. Just my two cents worth or maybe its my ten dollars worth…..

[Adrian]

As a postlude, Jessi choose to leave TgR. She was not removed by moderators.

Glenda wrote:

I think that the ten dollar fee is a good thing it sorts those that are genuine from those that are perhaps looking for a cheap shot at gender diverse people.

The joining fee is indeed a filter – which of course makes one question more closely the motivation behind those seeking free Community memberships.
If you don’t pay anything to join there is less to be lost if you decide to leave. The brief encounter with TgR cost Jessi nothing.

The joining fee also asks applicants to put a personal value on being a member. If you pay nothing then it follows you don’t value your membership.

I have some statistics for the web site memberships up to June this year. During the lifetime of the ‘old’ TgR website we offered free membership to 563 people…and only 2.5% were still active.. just 15 Community members.
Compare that with the 1601 Premier memberships approved of which 33% were still active when we ported to the new web site.

I’m tempted to conclude that I have been over generous in offering free membership. I don’t personally subscribe to an entitlement culture – I’m old fashioned enough to think people should be grateful for the support of others even if that support comes through the government. Perhaps being on welfare (as Jessi claimed) is not in itself a good reason to be entitled to a free membership of TgR. I’m going to be looking a lot closer at the Community applications from now on.

[Deleted User]

As a free member a completely understand why there is a fee for membership. Nothing is free and they certainly don’t run themselves. I think we sometimes have a sense of entitlement with the internet since most things are free (ie Facebook, email, twitter google etc). Sooner or later I do intend on putting money down for my membership. But if I didn’t get in for free I would not have ever joined.

[Deleted User]

It must be very frustrating when you put something like this group together to help and support the T community and come up against such a negative attitude. Especially which has a ‘no-win’ status in the first place.
Without being judgemental to Jess I really didn’t think $10.00 to be a lot in any circumstance, I could be wrong. I wonder how much she pays for internet access? She said she is going through a lot, and perhaps sadly the frustration built up and the need to hit out ended up directed at the people who could help her most. I hope things improve for her.
We have to accept the internet in Australia anyway, isn’t a free service. Needing money to run, if it was completely free it would get abused, as Facebook does. They get money from copious advertising and we get the benefit of freedom to post, mostly, what we like so long as it doesn’t contravene social mores. I have only a limited idea what it would be like to have to go through applications and vet them. I have two modest groups on Flickr and Yahoo groups. They are easy to manage.
I think it would be sad if so much difficulties arose that caused a situation were only fee payers could use it. Limited use encourages, I hope, people to view and want to get more involved and contribute.

[Deleted User]

$10 per year to enjoy the benefits and opportunities that this site brings is less than 20 cents per week!!!

Not much to ask in my opinion…

By the way there are no late fees if you dont pop in another $10 by a ceratin time.

cant get much better value than that

( I of course realise I might seem a bit biassed in my views about this site)

Caroline

[Adrian]

Caroline wrote:

$10 per year

Less than that – $10 just once. After that it is entirely voluntary if you donate again.

[Deleted User]

A thought occurred to me as a follow on from this thread but it may end deserving a thread of its own.
Regarding the membership being $10.00. Technically this is permanent all you need to pay, donate, offer. Ever after, you are a member with full access. This is chickenfeed. Price of two coffees? Or one in a boutique with a master barista. What about this, $10.00, for an annual fee?

[Carol]

I think this is a very sad thread. I’m a member of sites where I have to pay much more and do it again each year. Also of sites which charge nothing. In my view TgR is better value than any of them. I’ve promoted this site successfully to friends with that argument. $10 for life!! How good is that.
I still think you need exemptions though for people who are struggling.

[Anonymous]

I think that as it stands now new people can come along have a look at the group and if they like what they see and want to see more ten dollars isn’t much to ask.

[Anonymous]

While we may feel sorry for the plight of another traveller…nobody makes another “feel’ ( small, sad,angry ..whatever) WE feel those feelings and it is our responsibility for how we perceive the message from others. I think there was a bit of dumping going on here and Adrian was the recipient in this case.

[Deleted User]

While emphatically agreeing with Christina as regards the ‘dumping’, I would suggest the person concerned wasn’t necessarily attacking as much as just that, dumping, letting her frustration and anger spill out. Sadly, and unfairly, Adrian ended up being the recipient.
I’ve been in situations where events ran away from me and I couldn’t get my life under control. I needed a punching bag. I was scared and couldn’t get help and ended up in a local state employment office spilling my heart out to the poor girl. It was nothing to do with her or the department by the way. That was where it all happened.
One good thing came out of that, next visit they took me to a private office for the interview and actually pushed a huge box of tissues across the table!
I’m just suggesting we shouldn’t judge the poor girl harshly, we don’t know the whole story and shouldn’t take it to heart.
Claire

Christina wrote:

While we may feel sorry for the plight of another traveller…nobody makes another “feel’ ( small, sad,angry ..whatever) WE feel those feelings and it is our responsibility for how we perceive the message from others. I think there was a bit of dumping going on here and Adrian was the recipient in this case.