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The elephant in the bra
Breasts are perceived in our society as a symbol of femininity, a determinant of fashion, and a measure of beauty. So in the transgender community it is unusual to find someone expressing themselves in a feminine way without the shape of breasts. We talk a lot about how a feminine upper body shape makes us feel.
But I find it interesting what we don’t talk about.
At some point, most of us will purchase some breast forms. Breast forms are heavily marketed as having the look and feel of “the real thing”. But as consumers how would we know? Are we being taken for a “bouncy” ride?
But that is the point of this posting. A lot of us do know.
Many of us started our expressions of femininity wearing breast forms, and end up growing “the real thing”. Along with post-mastectomy patients this large group actually knows how breast forms compare with natural breasts – but try searching on Google. It appears that no one actually wants to provide any objective feedback.
Why is this? Do the breast form manufacturers sue if any objective observations are published? Is it just modesty that stops us sharing information on something so close to our femininity?
Well I’ve experienced home-made gel bags, breast forms, and now a pair of 16B boobs. And I’m game to tell the story just like it is!
First a couple of caveats in case I get sued. This has to be my own personal observation. I have not had implants and cannot comment on that experience. And I am aware that breast form technology has advanced over the past few years (as have the marketing claims) and cannot comment on that.
Who exactly does the feeling?
Breast forms are heavily marketed as “feeling natural”.Quote:These Breast Forms are made of 100% medical grade silicone. These are soft to the touch and natural in feel.Quote:All Amoena breast forms have the look, feel and texture of a natural breast.Quote:Only 100% Super Soft silicone is used in our breast forms. They look, feel, warm and bounce like natural breasts.We want to be feminine so it is natural to assume the forms look and feel natural to us! But this isn’t a claim anyone makes.
Silicone also feels like a natural breast through clothing
Close physical contact, even a hug, will not reveal that you are wearing one,
If the advertiser doesn’t say it feels natural to the wearer, then how natural is the look and feel of breast forms?Let’s be objective.
Weight
Real breasts don’t tear at your skin. They don’t sit like lifeless forms in your bra. The breast has muscle in it, and has no more a feeling of being attached and having a weight than does your bottom. Until age catches up with you and it goes saggy and pendulous a breast doesn’t appear to weigh anything. So don’t waste money getting weighted breast forms! The more you feel the weight of the form the less you have a “natural” feeling.Sensation
At few times when tissue is growing, breasts are very tender and sensitive. But in the steady state they are mostly just tissue. They don’t have the heightened sense of touching things that we imagine even though they are more prone to hitting things than a flat chest. So this is a similarity with inert breast forms.
If left unsupported in the gym or pummeled they get sore (a bra has a real function which is turns out to be more important than looking good!). And of course natural breasts have nipples which respond to being touched – but expecting a breast form to emulate that would be a bit unrealistic.Cleavage
Real breasts are the same colour as your skin. I know this is obvious, but a breast form can only give you a fake cleavage. And the more you tape and push things to create a “look” the less things will feel like the real thing. Natural breasts create a painless cleavage that feels … well natural.Comfort
The area of your chest in contact with a breast form has sweat glands. And sooner or later you will have to remove the breast form and wash the skin. A natural breast may get a bit itchy underneath, but you can always just take it for a dip in the pool!Shape
The design of breast forms has progressed to the point where often they have a more perfect shape than many natural breasts. I’m not sure how this affects the look and feel experienced by the wearer, but if it does, a well selected breast form is a clear winner.And the final score
Is the experience of wearing breast forms a natural one?
Weight – No
Sensation – Close
Cleavage – No
Comfort – No
Shape – MaybeMy personal conclusion is that breast forms do not, and cannot, feel to YOU the same as real breasts.
They are actually quite noticeably different.
Which of course explains why the advertisers do not make that claim.But that doesn’t make natural breasts better.
There are still plenty of good reasons to use forms.
For a start, they will not affect your health, can be removed when they are inconvenient, and can be changed to suit your mood. Not to mention the money you will save! And if you enjoy the way they feel to you so much the better.Although they may look and feel like real breasts to others, what you are feeling isn’t actually like the real thing. It actually is just another compromise on our journey!
Perhaps some honest advertiser might actually say that one day!
This post is in my public blog if you want to share it outside TgR
http://adrian.tgr.net.au/blog/archives/15-The-elephant-in-the-bra.html -
14 Replies
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I’ll ignore my experience with funny little enhancers bought on the internet and jump straight to my first good quality forms bought after a personal fitting to go with my new 18C bras. They fitted into the bra so well that I never felt like they needed gluing on. The bounce was fantastic when I first ran through the traffic to an ATM on the other side. I ran back even though there were no cars just to repeat the experience. Size was right for my chest size too. To me at the time They were “real”.
However I started growing my own and long before they filled a B cup (and they still haven’t properly filled a C cup),I became so enthused with the feel and proud of my success that I stopped wearing forms. OK they don’t look as good/prominent as the forms but they do feel right for me.
So if you’ve never felt real ones don’t worry you’ll never know what you are missing and well fitted forms will be fantastic. If you have grown your own, you won’t need convincing of what is best. -
Carol wrote:OK they don’t look as good/prominent as the forms but they do feel right for me.Let’s try and keep this thread objective. Ignoring what subjectively you think is right or best; just how does the feeling compare? I guess because the real breasts don’t look (to others) as good then you are confirming the difference in shape is significant to you. What about sensitivity, weight etc? How would you describe in feeling between the two? Is there any?
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Can see both sides of the “soft cup” in this post…. But since I dont want and never will have “real breasts”, I can only relate my own experience with forms.
I’ve tried a few varieties, “non sticky”, double sided tape and adhesive and two varieties of “multi suction cups”.
I dont think I’m alone in enjoying the “pull/heavy chest” when braless and the “multi suction cups” are best for this, except they wont stay on when I am “upright and braless”.
The tape and adhesives will, but they only “pull” on the edges And of course as AA says leave them on for too long and “you too will have a nasty skin rash”. (Been there done that!)
The latter also allow much better access if and when, (ahem), you “feel” the need to access your real male nipple.
Of course the “real thing” would be nice… But sadly those in this world with an accepting partner are in the minority and also, those of us who live in the sticks with the resultant “hypersonic gossip mill” would have to be very tough to withstand the onslaught from this.
And since its “wine o clock” as I type this, “here’s one in your hook and eye”
CAty
Wandering off topic already…????
Anyone else care to compare their experience of forms with real breasts?
Is it true that they feel natural?
That’s the topic!!!! -
Someone has messaged me asking if I really “don’t love the breast form manufacturers”
So maybe I should clarify where I am coming from.
It is true – I’ve been watching too much of the Checkout on ABC recently! Spot a bit of possibly misleading promotion a mile off.
And I’ve always had a special angry spot for people who prey on the Trans community with pink creams, and price-inflated ‘must-haves’.I’ve nothing against forms – I just loved them when I found the cash years ago – though I had become sort of wedded to the cool-bag jell technology!
But there are clearly people getting sucked in by the advertising and assuming that they are not only buying into a very convenient shape enhancement, but also into what it feels like to be a woman. And that may be going too far.
It has also been pointed out that maybe manufacturers such as Amoena are trying their best to make women who have had a mastectomy feel better about themselves. But even if that is the case. it still shouldn’t preclude an informed discussion on actually what feeling can be expected.
Hence my desire to get a body of evidence to explore if forms feel anything like breasts to the wearer. If this information is in the public domain, then people will buy forms with a realistic expectation of what they are buying into.
I doubt it will affect sales, and I hope it won’t push people onto HRT. But in this community of dreams a bit of reality might not go amiss.
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Adrian wrote:Carol wrote:OK they don’t look as good/prominent as the forms but they do feel right for me.
Let’s try and keep this thread objective. Ignoring what subjectively you think is right or best; just how does the feeling compare? I guess because the real breasts don’t look (to others) as good then you are confirming the difference in shape is significant to you. What about sensitivity, weight etc? How would you describe in feeling between the two? Is there any?
I think we are trying to compare chalk and cheese because my real ones are smaller and lighter than my old forms. My real ones don’t bounce as much but probably would if they were bigger. Obviously there is virtually no sensitivity from the silicone ones and like Caty when wearing them I needed access to my own nipples from time to time. Cleavage was unsatisfactory with forms and better with my own. Comfort better with my own but silicone was still pretty good. Shape definitely better with silicone.
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I used to use a good pair of silicone forms purchased from the Breast Form store. Their assistance and patience in selecting the correct size and forms was great. They certainly did the job for a long time .
I have since grown my own and am very comfortable with my self and my own breasts. Having your own for me, is the best.
dee -
dee88 wrote:Having your own for me, is the best.
deeOnce again, can I point out that “best” is not objective.
Let’s try and keep this thread objective. Ignoring what subjectively you think is right or best; just how does the feeling compare? How would you describe in feeling between the two? Is there any? -
I would like to thank you ladies for you’re forthright opinion and experiences as for medical reasons HRT is not an option for me it is good to know what I am or not missing. How would implants rate sorry if this is off topic
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Julie wrote:How would implants rate sorry if this is off topic
It would be on topic to compare objectively real breasts and implants, and perhaps also to compare implants with forms. But given the reluctance of others to compare breasts and forms I doubt anyone will take up the challenge!
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Having your Own is far better from a mental as well as a physical side. The silicone were good, they gave you the size you wanted and the look. You don’t have a choice on size with real ones. Time consuming to stick on and can only stay on for so long, no good for swimming.
On the swimming side I never realised just how much weight is lifted of your own boobs to float around in the water.
Can’t have that feeling with silicone.
The nipples and have great sensibility. The sensations from different fabrics is so more heightened.
The bounce factor …well with the silicone set in your bra you can get that sassy walk and bounce.
With your own they bounce and hurt if you decide to run without the right sports bra.
Real ones aren’t for every one body but for me they are so right …physically and mentally. It is difficult to describe how good it is to cup your own breasts.
dee -
Julie wrote:I would like to thank you ladies for you’re forthright opinion and experiences as for medical reasons HRT is not an option for me it is good to know what I am or not missing. How would implants rate sorry if this is off topic
Hi Julie,
You ask one very important question, and make an interesting statementIn an attempt to remain subjective in my answer I’d like to recant a recent experience of mine. Recently I’ve had the pleasure of physically supporting 2 women through their BA procedures. After several days post operatively as the affects of surgery wore off, both women reported a varying degrees of psychological discomfort. It’s is best described as a disassociation of the implants, not being a natural part of their body. One woman suffered a mild case and with appropriate counseling has moved forward from this position and assimilating to the procedure in a more natural manner. The other woman, even 9 months out is still having disassociation dysphoria. I have since spoken to the surgeon in confidence about this issue, where upon the surgeon commented this is not uncommon.for any prosthesis procedure.
If I may err on the side of objectivity, I, myself am blessed in this department and enjoy the benefits of the appropriate HT.
If this post still exists at the discression of the moderator, I’d like to challenge your comment on “medical reasons” impeding your development in this matter. The question I ask is, Have you rigerously pursued every avenue of HT ? I don’t expect, nor ask a reply to that question. It’s a question only you can answer. After all you’re the one that has to live with yourself, we don’t. You, like everyone else is governed by , our altitude is subject to our attitude. (yes – way off topic – please discuss this privately if you wish)
I hope this has thrown some objectivity into the discussion
Best wishes for your future
Catherine -
I would like to believe that despite any marketing claims, no person purchases forms assuming that they will be genuinely the same natural breasts.
I do not believe design and materials technologies will ever create a perfect analogue and comparison drawn between the two is subjective to a wide range of variables beyond personal experience.
Weight in real breasts changes from person to person and over the life of a single person – An average can be collated to size but size is not causative in weight. Forms weigh the gross of the materials used to manufacture, while you can vary the weight of silicon and foams, it is within a limited range but it is fair to assume some forms (particularly those originally intended for single breast mastectomy patients) would certainly be designed to fit within the natural range.
The sensation of a natural breasts cannot be compared to that of the inanimate form. When I’ve worn forms, friends have had to touch… Oh I have a wonderfully odd circle of friends – Of course, I fell nothing. When my wife touches my chest now, I just about leap out of my skin. There is no comparison. The body heat claim is correct in some materials – The medical grade silicon does heat up.
Cleavage and forms should define logic but I think this is more an application of the correct form to make cleavage. Full breast forms do not lend themselves to open cleavage garments, but with a pushup bra and form type inserts, with the aid of a little contouring, I’m in deep v-neck top territory. Sure you could use full forms to show off some cleavage but I think you’d need to be careful with the bra and top choice, if you conceal the edge of the form successfully it will work – I do not push these barriers and I play it safe. This isn’t just form wears issue, ask any flat chested CIS woman about how they modify their cleavage and the choice of bras and clothing – You’ll get more information than you’ve ever wanted.
I have two of the same brand of form, in two sizes, both self adhesive, the smaller giving me a b and the larger a d cup. I’ve worn both in their stick on use and in a pocketed bra, for extended durations. I’ve never really felt uncomfortable in them, if anything I prefer the stick on use. Again this may be a personally subjective variable; the type, materials, design, fit, your skins reaction to the materials, and personal preference all change the equation. If you find forms uncomfortable, move to another type.
The shape is generally designed for the ideal shape, and of a younger person at that. No company is really going to mass produce forms to match older gravity challenged breasts – It won’t sell all that well… That said there are custom forms that can be made, but the price is typically prohibitive. All that said, if I can have perfectly pert boobs at 90, score!
There is a massive market in the CIS realm to change the size and shape of breasts, so this isn’t just a forms issue. When my chest finishes developing, I’ll still look for breast augmentation – Most likely for size, but shape and evenness.When you’re small or flat chested, forms can have a place, an important place in helping. They help me feel better about my shape and they’re enough to tick enough mental boxes that allow myself more confidence in my appearance.
I do not think that a lack of comparative reviews is due to modesty and certainly not due to the fear of a lawsuit. Those who no longer need forms are not likely to go back to a product they most likely purchased many years before to provide a review of how their natural chest is better. Those who need forms don’t know better to provide a comparative review. No one who doesn’t need forms isn’t going to buy them. I must also say, I’ve never heard of a company being successful on suing over reviews – Negative reviews tend to be moderated out. This is why the trend is for consumers to review on 3rd party sites, or social media – The reviewed company has no means to moderate.
For form users, from my experiences, save up and but the best forms you can – Price can mean quality. I’ve had foam forms and binned them, they were stiff, didn’t sit properly. I’m now running two (for me) very expensive high quality forms and they’re perfect for 95% of uses.
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Well said Sara Elizabeth,
You covered the issue very well. I especially enjoyed your comment about form manufacturers not making “gravity challenged forms”. As one who is firmly in the “middle age” category, the above made a lot of sense to me…
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Well maybe form manufacturers don’t produce gravity challenged shapes but then grow your owns are similar. I may be in my 60s but my boobs are just 2 years old. My wife laughingly describes them as “teenage”.
