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The Last of the Trannies
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TinaMartini wrote:I set up a FB profile about 2 months ago and already have well over 1,000 tranny friends.Which brings to mind that the meaning of the word “friend” has changed radically from the days when the Trannies were roaming the world. I had over a 1000 contacts on my list to tell about Transformal, but would count few on that list as a friend.
In one of Emma’s seminal posts “You won’t meet a great friend sitting at home watching Midsomer Murders and taking selfies…trust me “ she shared her perspective on Facebook friends thus:Quote:I think the easy accessibility of just having an online crossdressing life in the majority of cases has excused people from taking the plunge and stepping out into the big wide world. You can instead stay home on a Saturday night and doll yourself up and practice and practice until you get the perfect selfie which you can then post on your Facebook profile and wait for the adulation.Perhaps that’s all a bit harsh…but there is more than a gem of truth there I would suggest. The Tranny Age that Emma refers back to was a time when contacting your friends meant going to a secret crossdressing society, hitting a friendly restaurant on Friday night, or letting ones wig down at a ball. At least back then you knew what your friends were really like – warts and all.
Yes Emma, times have changed on us!
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All true. Just making the point that younger people do things differently, and I would point out that a select few of these online ‘friends’ actually do end up being just that.
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I miss those days Adrian but know they are from a bygone age….I like the face-to-face thing xxx
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Well , today things aren’t that secretive – I remember bellowing to the seahorse society in the 80s and needing to go rent a post box to keep the confidentiality up and reading on the magazine a list of members numbers – sort of a pin to be discreet !
These days are different …
Blessings
Suzz -
Agree with people here totally BUT..
Organisations like Seahorse are still relevant and necessary.Although some of us are out and about..some people are still in the closet and cant dress anywhere other than Seahorse.It provides a great starting point for many who want to just dress and then maybe more when they build confidence .Im sure we all know this…but we should not let Seahorse wither and die ..if not for ourselves then for others beginning their journeys..Seahorse also needs have a more social media focus to attract more people..maybe not transgender but transvestite if that tag is still ok to use
xxxShanalee -
Shana wrote:Agree with people here totally BUT..
…..Although some of us are out and about..some people are still in the closet and cant dress anywhere other than Seahorse.If we accept the premise that the number of people alive who matured in the great age of trans secrecy and shame is dropping all the time then this affects the viability of any event or organisation that is focused on meeting their needs.
Those who are younger than the cut off age for a Trannie” will never understand what the closet was like, nor why it was necessary last century. If the business model for support groups like Seahorse only rests on providing the safe environment for emotionally scared Trannies in search of a safe remission from the closet then it cannot be viable going forward.
I ask myself, who out of the shrinking pool of Trannies is still not socially out and about. And why if they haven’t made the move after at least 10 -15 years of freedom to do so, why do we see them needing support in coming out in the future?
As someone who has put a lot of my time in providing social support for Trannies first with Seahorse NSW and then through TgR I can see the writing clearly on the wall. We are unlucky to have lived through a time when being Trans was socially unacceptable, and lucky enough to have enjoyed all the social events that were created to make our lives tolerable.
But as Emma correctly observed, that was a bygone age. Seahorse and other organisations (jncluding TgR) have to ask not how they were relevant in the past, but how (and if) they can be relevant in the future.
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“as Emma correctly observed, that was a bygone age. Seahorse and other organisations (jncluding TgR) have to ask not how they were relevant in the past, but how (and if) they can be relevant in the future.”
Exactly Emma.. i feel a good social media prescence is a must
As we are doing now communication is paramount … and SO easy to connect with others
Regardless of where you are on the transgender spectrum -
Whilst I was idly waiting for the washing machine to run its cycle on the weekend (yes, it is ALL parties and cocktails at Casa Thorne girlfriends) I thought I would check out how our local (SA) Carousel Club is trucking by having a look at their online presence which is opportune given Adrian’s reference above.
Googling their name came up with their Facebook page which I clicked on…the most recent posting seems to be from about 2014 and there are also some Xmas themed photos to look at from an un-named year. Hmm. Ah! A web address link was available in the side bar which I enthusiastically pressed and waited to be transported to something with more information, currency, and substance: Oh dear, it took me to an ad for a company that does do-it-yourself web pages. Just as well I already know where to go and who is who isn’t it ?
To be completely fair I was not in the least surprised as this was pretty much how it has been in every other dealing I’ve had with them (average 1 dealing per decade over 30 years is more than enough) has been disappointing. As I said earlier in this thread I know a few girls in the local CC who are great and want to do the right thing but get drowned out, as Gough Whitlam so eloquently put it, in an orgy of trivia.
So to echo Adrian’s comments in some way perhaps fragile groups such as these have had their day? Seahorse in NSW is sadly going through a bit of a lean time of it but perhaps just doing Transformal in Katoomba and then the Seahorse Ball in Sydney once a year might be all anyone WHO ACTUALLY GOES OUT needs apart from casual get togethers over dinner and the odd night out clubbing? If getting people to commit to monthly or bi-monthly meetings in committee positions is too much of a struggle then don’t have them and just do the things you know will be supported. Just a thought……
Events are a great way of connecting – far better than online ‘friending’ in my opinion where people can be very 2 dimensional. I made lots of great new friends in Katoomba and I know if I visit Sydney, or Melbourne, or Perth, or Brisbane I can whistle up a few galpals on the interweb that I already know get out and about for a night or two on the town.
100 years ago we put 12 year old kiddies down coal mines which most people thought was fine. Things change.
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I think one of the problems we face is there are too many other options out there today for the newer generation of trannies. What the Gen Y & Z are doing I know very little about and how they fit themselves into the world, simply because I don’t know any of them out in the world. Now that I’m showing my age, yes I am a 62 model, late baby boomer, and I mainly associate with my own generation or the early model Gen X’s , with a lot of us having come out in public many years ago. There are still some BB’s & Gen X’s late to bloom and come out in public that I have come across in a number of different websites and places like Seahorse can obviously help them for their first trip out, so there may still be a relevance for them. I myself spend around half my life as Rosemary, work and commuting intrudes into Rosemary’s life style, so even doing the mundane weekly tasks like housework & the groceries is more pleasurable as Rosemary, than looking like all the other boring men in the supermarket. General acceptance of trannies in the public places around Maitland is pretty good I have found as I spend more time out and about, so if it takes a longish tee shirt and Lycra leggings to fit in who am I to complain. I have only noticed a couple of other older trannies about the local shopping centre none of the young one seem to be out and about in public, or are they waiting to blossom?
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Shana wrote:i feel a good social media prescence (sic) is a must
We are looking at systematic failure to embrace the internet to communicate – not surprising seeing the average age of the members of these various support groups.
Emma reports that Carousel hasn’t updated their web presence since 2014. Seahorse NSW has a web page that has been essentially dormant for a year.
And I checked the web page for Seahorse Victoria, It turns out their “Latest News” is 2 years old.
Last of the Trannies becomes Last of the Tranny Support Groups it seems!
If I was thinking of looking for a support group to help me take those first few steps, and I wasn’t young enough to do it on my own, then there is nothing a Google search will throw up to convince me any of these societies are a going concern. Are they?
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I think that a failure to maintain an online presence is a major reason why some support groups are failing to attract younger members. Many older members openly admit to not being ‘IT-savvy’, and as they frequently make up many of the administrative or committee positions in those groups, there is little interest in keeping token web pages up to date. Seahorse NSW has for years struggled to maintain an effective online presence, the webpage being in the control of just one member. Playing catch-up is not the way to run any sort of organisation.
There are plenty of young crossdressers around but when they feel little or no need for a support group it’s unlikely they’ll be attracted to any that give the impression of being out of date.
TgR shows what can happen when an online presence is contemporaneous and relevant. -
Jane you make some good points however one of the major complaints, and one that I’ve heard regularly over the years, is that even contacting one of these groups on the phone is often disappointing. Most have a “contact number” where you can leave a message which is either not responded to for ages, or at all. I know this is certainly the case with the CC here other than for one brief moment in the sun when they had a contact officer who did her job (well done Geena). You don’t need to be tech or IT savvy to answer the phone.
We have nothing to offer a young crossdresser in these groups – nothing whatsoever and we probably never have. Imagine suggesting to a 22 year old straight hipster type “hey dude…why don’t you hang out with me and my friends who are all over 50, cliquey, can’t really relate to your generation, and think we know it all, at our local Probus Club meetings?” because that is what it would be like. As a young chick back-in-the-day and newly out in public I remember being bailed up by a matronly CD (who was probably younger than I am now) and her galpal at the Buckingham Arms one Saturday night and invited for a tea party at her place which was all the rage at the time in the 1980’s. Yeah right hold me back.
If a group has no skills in the online environment then why get involved in it and look like dicks? Even the biggest luddite can create a Facebook group which is ridiculously simple to manage or promote their events on places like TGR. Simples, as Mr Alexander would say.
Cyberspace is where it’s at baby….
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If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.
With our recent discussions on the merits, or otherwise, of trannie “support groups” my mind has wandered back to a time long ago when I was interviewed (or should I say interrogated?) by the Carousel Club Contact Officer – a local organisation which, for a reason lost in the mists of time, I thought at that time I should join. Now bear in mind this was waaaaaaay before the internet and in fact around about the time when Homo sapiens first began walking on their hind legs. I will examine in this diatribe what was forcibly and robustly suggested to me at this face-to-face interview and what has subsequently transpired in my life to see what value that exercise was.
To set the scene, it was finally decided, after a considerable amount of time, that we would meet in a dark and dingy café adjacent to the university precinct. The CC Contact Officer (I won’t name her of course as she is still around but she will know who I’m talking about) wore a drab blend of grey woollen skirt, grey blouse buttoned up to her forehead, sensible shoes, and some form of roadkill on her head which I later realised was a wig. In my mid 30’s in those days and as fit as a trout, I turned up in white knee high Go Go boots, a psychedelic sleeveless very short summer dress, and makeup which would have made John Travolta’s part in Hairspray look somewhat understated. I can’t remember the exact wording of the “rules to obey” supposedly for my own safety I was given but I can remember the gist of it as follows:1. YOU MUST NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GO TO A PUBLIC PLACE WITHOUT FIRST GOING THERE IN MALE MODE TO MAKE SURE YOU HAVE “ESCAPE POINTS” CLEARLY MAPPED OUT IN CASE SOMETHING HAPPENS.
ME: I’m pretty sure I would have asked “like what?” and I remember her saying that was in case I was recognised by someone. I think I said something along the lines of “so, if I am recognised by someone the smart thing to do is immediately bolt for the exit?”
Firstly, I was certainly very interested in going to places where something WOULD happen and if it did I had no intention of escaping. I have never before, or definitely since, given any thought to where I stumble in to and have never had any trouble anywhere when I have. I rarely go to gay haunts and tend to go clubbing and pubbing where everyone else goes.
2. YOU MUST NEVER DRAW ATTENTION TO YOURSELF BY THE CLOTHES YOU GO OUT IN, YOUR MAKEUP, OR YOUR GENERAL DEMEANOR.
ME: Well that one obviously had zero impact.
3. IF APPROACHED BY A MAN IN PUBLIC IT IS WISE TO SUBTLY, WITHOUT ENDANGERING YOUR SAFETY, LET IT BE KNOWN THAT YOU ARE NOT A GENETIC WOMAN.
ME: I think this is when the “interview” irretrievably fell into disarray. I think I may have let out a little amused squeal of suppressed laughter and said “really?” I was beginning to wonder whether these wise words of advice had been written by one of the Bronte sisters. Back in those faraway days, before becoming the trans/lesbo/gender fluid spunk rat that I am now, I was more than happy for any man to approach me and they often did and thankfully for my ego still do. I can see how I could be mistaken for Mrs Suburbia – by people like Jose Feliciano or Stevie Wonder provided I didn’t say anything which as you all know is impossible anyway.
Never at any point in this meeting were the words “support””assistance”or even “we can help” mentioned. It was all about putting you into a different closet to the one you had presumably been trying to extricate yourself from. Thankfully I had been out in public a lot prior to this so I knew most of what she was telling was, to be frank, bullshit. I asked what sort of social activities the club did and she told me that they had a Monthly meeting, occasional Scrabble nights and even more occasionally hired out a public tennis court in a hidden away part of Belair National Park but on those days it was optional to go dressed just in case “anyone recognised you driving past”.It all seemed to me that, yes, you can join our little club but we are not really here to do anything for you and will tolerate you as long as you toe the line and keep your mouth shut. When Steppin Out was really humming along at 100 mph 15 years ago I confess to my shame that it did run through my mind to send 30 of my Steppin Out gang over to join the Carousel Club, vote everyone out of office, and take it over…but to what point in the end?
As we mentioned in other discussions ALL these groups are withering on the vine. Maybe it is time we had a truly National group with a 24/7 online presence that puts on 2 or 3 big shows a year and that is it. Any support/help/advice can be handled online by a team of experienced girls. We already have the platform right here with TGR.
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Emma_Thorne wrote:Maybe it is time we had a truly National group with a 24/7 online presence
Emma, You are excused by virtue of your long period of abstinence from TgR from not having observed the history of the last two “national groups” that were launched onto the virtual stage. In both cases the words “National” attracted a group of girls (aka Trans Warriors) less interested in partying and more interested in pushing their own view of what should and shouldn’t be done for the great unwashed majority.
The lady in tweed and sensible heels may have gone, but there is no shortage of people out there who feel that they are god’s gift to the trans community and have a divine right to “represent” us nationally. Luckily the type attracted to the warrior stuff, score about zero on the charismatic team building scale, and are easily distracted into just fighting each other.
National groups maybe a goer – but you would have to have the rules to obey (No Politics, No representation) which of course just about rules out having no rules.
A national group organising just national events….did someone mention pigs?But now you have been warned you can go forth fearlessly where no tranny has gone before! We are right behind you…somewhere!
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You are spot on of course Adrian, I had no idea that there had been a couple of “National” groups created whilst I was on my gap years and I accept totally your assessment of what happened with them. The whole thought of trans warriors flinging barbs at each other and everyone else sends a shiver up my spine. From my own perspective, and I realise I that not everyone feels this way:
1. I am 100% a party girl and I could not care less about so called trans rights or any of that other malarkey. I am completely non-political as far as this goes but wouldn’t criticise anyone for their views as long as they don’t try and jam them down my throat…..having said that though I still shake my fist at the telly when any file vision of Malcolm Fraser turns up on the telly.
2. “Rules are the scars of past mistakes”….yes you have to have some rules in anything. As long as they are really simple and easy to understand.
3. I’m not interested in telling people how to live their femme life but I’m happy to point them in the right direction so they are not flailing about like a sweaty octopus trying to undo a bra.
4. There is no Point 4.
Hmmm. I’ll give this all some more thought. What we are about is supposed to be fun and liberating – not something akin to Europe in the Middle Ages although you can be excused for thinking that sometimes. I know I might be tilting at windmills and totally unrealistic (not for the first or last time) but I think there is a place for a group that just promotes getting out and having a good time.
