This won’t help!

[Anonymous]

yep – dang it – suddenly all your family, friends, colleagues, and aquaintenaces think that this is the stanadard type of behaviour for anyone with an inkling of gender dysphoria. feel really sorrry for the guy (not to mention his victims). i note the media doesn’t mention that this is extremely rare type of behaviour in the gender dysphoria community, and maybe a little spiel about gender dysphoria in general. but that’s me – i’m sure there’s one or two of you who may have a different opinion …

[Anonymous]

Yes, Felicity it is a shocker. And I wonder how much of the horror being expressed is attached to his “perverted behaviour”. The media laps up that kind of stuff. And theres no way they will print a balanced approach to CD’s – no copy there!

But as far as I’m concerned he’s not a real CD. He’s way too hairy! And he cant have done all that in heels!! Sorry I know its not funny but its both tragic and a bit comedic the way they’ve reported it.

The public’s view of CD’s is already skewed so this kind of publicity is so not good. And yet there are so many closet CD’s and they dont get publicity for coming from all walks of life and being very peaceable people. Mainly because they are hidden of course.

So yes the more people meet us and see that we are really just everyday people the better. Although as Monty Python says “we are all individuals…..I’m not!” Thought I’d end with a laugh.

Best wishes
Roisin x.

[Elizabeth]

Now, that Colonel was weird. Not even a cross dresser. Yes, it definately gives the general public a really misguided impression of gender dysphoric people. And, the media loves such a story, sells newpapers etc. and guillable people lap it up.
If only a balanced report was given but no such luck. No one’s interested. We just struggle on whilst the story fades into insignificance. I really feel for the victims of his crimes and their families. What must they be going through? Unimaginable horror. My wife has just ignored the story. I agree with all the sentiments and thoughts of the other contributors.

Liz

[Anonymous]

This guy is not a CD.

There are many perverted reasons why people do the things he did, but he didn’t do it for any of the reasons a normal transgendered persons would. I am not going to even try to guess what actually motivated him, but I am certain it was not the attraction of the clothes or any desire to present himself as a person of the opposite gender.

It is akin to saying a rapist is like a person who likes the expected normal heterosexual intercourse. Just because he collects clothing from his victims, does not make him a CD, even if he choses to wear them.

However, once again we have to wear the negative publicity caused by a weirded out individual that shares one characteristic in common with us. Just like saying all men are rapists really. Or anyone who owns a gun is automatically a murderer.

We had an armed robber who was particularly nasty during robberies over here who chose a pink wig and a blue dress for a disguise. The video of the robbery was shown during a work safety meeting. A comment that was voiced loudly from behind me was that it was just another drug-f**ked tranny. I had just gone full time in my new personna and had to get up next to speak. I showed this person, and any other in the room who had similar thoughts, that not every “guy” in a dress is what he said. Some of us are respected in the workplace enough to get up and be asked to share our experience.

[Anonymous]

Wow Portia, what an experience and Well Done!! That was awesome and very courageous. Just another drugged out Tranny? See them on every corner dont we??! So glad you put that one back in his box!

We are indeed all ambassadors for TG’s everywhere. And its about time that that kind of trashy journalism was put where it belongs: in the bin!

Best wishes
Roisin x.

[Anonymous]

This article doesn’t appear that sensationalist to me. If you consider the term ” crossdresser” as a description of an activity rather than a label ( as I do ) , then it is fairly tame piece of journalism IMO. The way he behaves may be as much to do with being Canadian or a soldier as it does to his penchant for lingerie.
The guy is obviously a murderous nutjob and his behaviour doesn’t reflect on us IMO.

[Brenda]

1. agreed, this MALE is a fetishist, someone 99% of us aren’t. they bring our community into massive disrepute, and I can never understand why they do it !!!!!!

2. Thankfully he has a life sentence for what he has done. Let us hope two things, that he never be released and that we never hear of him again.

THERE IS NO WAY I WOULD CALL HIM A CROSSDRESSER, LET ALONE A MEMBER OF THE TG COMMUNITY!!!!!!

if anyone has a complain about my comments, I apologies, but they are my thoughts

regards all

[Anonymous]

hi brenda – i can’t say that only 1% of our community has a transvestic fetish – i suspect that the percentage is actually a lot higher. i think you may have meant that behaviors like his are less than 1% of how the rest of the trans community are. i would reckon it’s even less than that – so it is a very rare occurence for transvestic fetishism to go that far. interestingly, some have the view that most transvestic fetishists do not go on to transitioning into transsexuals (e.g. the article below). and this response below should probably be in every married cd’s “dealing with the spouse” kit.

anyway, here’s the article about it that may be interesting and relevant (btw – you have to click on the “i agree” button):

http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=advice&id=1128&at=2&cn=98

Transvestic Fetishism?
Mon, Sep 25th 2006

I just found out 2 days ago that my boyfriend & man I plan to marry enjoys wearing female clothing. He wears panties, bra, shoes and makeup. He says that he only does it when he is lonely & once he finishes masterbating, he takes it all off. He also said he’s been doing it for a number of years, but there will be periods of months that go by where he doesn’t even think of it. I love him very much & I am fine with this if he wants to do it. However, I am concerned. I’ve been doing some research, but i don’t know exactly what I am looking for. I found a few websites that say this behavior is considered Transvestic Fetishism. Is it? I want to talk to him about it & we have, but I don’t really know what to ask. He tells me that he does not want to become a women & that is just a fetish. Can this be true? Do I have anything to be concerned about? Please help. Thank you.

Mark Dombeck, Ph.D. Responds

This behavior of his is very likely to be an instance of Transvestic Fetisism, one of a group of sexual diagnoses known as the paraphilias, which includes exhibitionism (arousal attached to shocking people with public displays), regular fetishism (say, a fetish for leather – difficulty achieving arousal without the fetish item present), frotteurism (arousal is tied to rubbing against people in public), pedophilia (arousal is tied to sexually immature partners), sexual masochism (arousal tied to being punished), sexual sadism (arousal tied to punishing), and voyeurism (arousal tied to spying on other’s sexual activities in peeping tom fashion). If it isn’t clear already, the basic idea is that when you have a fetish, your ability to become sexually aroused becomes linked to a particular thing and it becomes difficult to get aroused properly without that thing being present.

While some of the paraphilias are disturbing, abusive and criminal (e.g., pedophilia), not all of them are bad things. Transvestic Fetishism (arousal tied to cross-dressing) is benign for all intents and purposes. It is largely practiced by heterosexual men in private settings. As your boyfriend suggests, the act of cross-dressing is often comforting to the men who practice it. Cross-dressing doesn’t hurt anyone. It has little to do with homosexuality. While some transvestic men do occasionally engage in homosexual acts, their main impulse is towards heterosexual sexuality. Keep in mind that some minority of “regular” dominantly heterosexual men without cross-dress fetishes also will have ocassion to experiment with homosexual activities at various points during their lives – when it occurs, such behavior is not limited to cross-dressers by any means.

A minority of transvestic men do end up feeling that they should have been born a woman and go on to develop a gender identity disorder, but this is the exception to the rule. As your boyfriend has denied that he wants to become a woman, I think you should take his word on this matter.

You are understandably alarmed by what you have found out. No one really talks about this practice of cross dressing, and it is poorly understood by the general public. However, I don’t think there is really any necessary cause for your alarm beyond the shock of learning something intimate and transgressive. Whether you can adapt to the idea that the man you marry will periodically want to cross dress, I don’t know, but as I have suggested, the urge to cross dress is benign in of itself and not necessarily harmful to your marriage prospects.

[Brenda]

OK. Staistics say one in five males crossdress, but after saying that, who knows on how many are FETISH CDs???

[Anonymous]

I think the story of the Canadian army man is very sad. Both for him and for his victims. I dont think he needs condemning any further. What a sad end to a sad life. I think if anything if he could have accepted his urge to dress as an OK thing he would not have ended up a murderer. But who knows?!

Virginias article is interesting. Obviously a distressed woman requesting help regarding someone she cares deeply for. But it seems she has accessed one website about fetishism without looking elsewhere and recieved an answer from the honorouble professor that is just as skewed.

Just like the very wide sexual spectrum from hetero to gay or lesbian via bisexual (and all in between) there is an incredibly grey area. Just so with the spectrum amongst crossdressers or transgender people from what I’v encountered so far (regardless of the label). It is also sad that the woman (mentioned above) feels that her safety might be in question. But thats social conditioning and the media in particular for you. The initial story of the Canadian army man is so out there and so not of the norm (whatever normal is). As stated before to me this is a bizarre case of a sad individual whose feelings were extremely confused and who fortunately is non-prepresentative of CD’s (and yes he did dress in womens clothes so as far as that goes he is classed as a CD).

There is of course some percentage of CD’s for whom the whole act is sexually exciting (no idea what is – can anyone enlighten me??). But there are many others for whom this is all about gender and not at all to do with sex. And I accept the fact that there are probably those grey areas in between that I know little about.

I regard this story for what it is. A sad and tragic one for all involved. In the end its just a bit of media titillation for the masses. Nothing less.

But will we see the media change its stance regarding selling copy on the basis of titillation? Not for a goodly while yet I think. It is public driven in the end though. So I suggest you consider the case of the UK tabloids and well known British Politicians. Stories once common of titillating (especially at Cabinet level) polly affairs are almost a thing of the past. The public have moved onto much juicier celebrity tittle tattle. So how long until kinky and bizarre CD stories go the same way?? The sooner the better for this wee lassie.

Hope I havent offended anyone!

Best wishes
Roisin x.

[Anonymous]

Yes I will agree, that guy had a problem and he got found out in the end which is what happens eventually if you are a criminal. It’s shame too because as they say, it only takes one bad apple……. There is a thread in the Gender and Sexuality forum here too about Transvestic Fetishism if anyone newer is interested, it’s a good little read but please note that it has been locked which means that it can’t get any more comments however.

Peta A.

[Anonymous]

I followed the story with some interest, I looked at a man who had it all rank power and respect and he tossed it all away to the monster inside himself.

This in no way reflects us in anyway. The guy could have been anyone you or I know, He did not face his own monster and many poor victims paid the price.

While we look again at ourselfs and what others think I do suggest we treat this as another odd moment in human history, This does not only shine a light on us but that also of the R.C.A.F Does this mean all the officers are like him, I think not! I am very sure we can credit the public will look on us the same way. Look after you been out on streets and walked around I think the public have far darker worries on the home front than to worry about us being anything like this fellow! A good section of the public look on us because we are not the same as anyone else. Hell lets face it we could not picked a harder path to go if we tried!

[Brenda]

Roisin,

There is of course some percentage of CD’s for whom the whole act is sexually exciting (no idea what is – can anyone enlighten me??)

Strangely it is not recorded, but is believed to be 75% transvestic fetisher and as low as 15% true Crossdresser/Transgenderists. so basically you could surmise that something like and average of all related ratios would say something like 5% all males in the world, or 25% of the TG Networks.

[now to try get over this migrane for working that out]

[Anonymous]

The ‘person’ in question is/was a very sick individual. I can’t, no won’t, believe his position in the Canadian Defence Forces has any bearing on his behaviour. A sicko is a sicko no matter where they are or what they wear. There was a well documented case back in the 1980s and 1990s where a member of the ADF was jailed for the murder and sexual assault of a very young person, no further details thanks. He was acquitted/released on a legal technicality and therefore the double jeopardy principle applied. I was the same trade group and in the same arm of the ADF as he was. However, I am not inclined to commit the same offences of which he was guilty. I knew the person and like many others felt he was quite weird. Was he representative of his employer? certainly not! What does concern me is that a person such as the accuised Colonel achieved and maintained that rank and position apparently with no questions being raised by Canadian internal security personnel (Their equivalent of ASIO).

Helen xxxxx